a little makeover

we needed a new area rug. ours was laden with dog piss and bits of debris that the vacuum couldn't reach. and so i called my friend Sand and we decided to have a momdate at Ikea. now, usually i am between 15-20 minutes late to every momdate. and I REFUSED TO BE LATE YET AGAIN. so i left real early. and pulled into Ikea's blue and yellow gates a full TWENTY MINUTES EARLY. i even beat Sand. basically a GD miracle because Sand is always early/on-time. 

we were supposed to meet at 10. you'll notice the clock reads 9:40. and you'll also notice the telltale blue of Ikea in the background. SO YOU KNOW I REALLY WAS THERE EARLY.

i searched and searched the area rug area (hah! see what i did there?) for a decent one. Gem was less than enthused. 

i could not find one. NOT ONE! and so finally we moved beyond the rugs. but i said to myself, "self. damn you. you came here for a rug and your cart is filled with things that are not rugs." and so i went back to the rugs to look harder. and you know what? i found a black and white polka dotted rug. and immediately i loved it. but then i sighed a sad sigh. because black and white polka dots surely do not go with my shabby chic decor? YOU CAN'T HAVE IT ALL, L! YOU JUST CAN'T! and i was ready to give up all hope and cry tears of disappointment and despair. but then. THEN i had a thought: "shut up L. it is YOUR living room and YOUR house. and you can decorate it however the hell you please." and so i picked up that black and white polka dotted rug with a renewed sense of purpose and i THREW it in the cart. but then Gemmie immediately grabbed at it with her soggy animal-crackered hands. and so i put that one back and picked up a different black and white polka dotted rug and THREW it in the cart. 

and i also bought a black and white striped blanket that i thought would go with the rug and tie it together with the room. and i got home and hauled that old shitty piss rug out of the house and replaced it with the NEW rug. and THIS is how it turned out: 

pretttttty cool. i love the new look. the rug is fabulous. and i adore the blanket. and here is the BEST PART: total cost of rug and blanket: $40. that's forty. dollars. twenty for the rug and twenty for the blanket. I MEAN.

also, that picture above is BEYOND posed. it's clean and fancy and G only has one pretty toy out and OHMYGOD SHUT UP EVEN THE DOG IS LOOKING AT THE CAMERA!

this. THIS is my reality:

it's nap time and i should be cleaning. but i don't even care. don't. even. CARE.

what's on L's phone?!

Nannie came for a daytrip! 

i got the one-legged pirate hobble in action! pardon that ghastly beast of a shadow OMG L. creep. 

JJ snapped this of the two of us gals sleepin. Cleopatra the Bed Hog. 

Rah got us the pull cart for our blocks! they were being stored in an old Toms shoe bag and it was equal parts gross and annoying. we are totally thrilled--THANKS RAHHHHHHH!

"no. i cannot and will not be in a good mood unless i'm in Cleo's bed."

"and also i don't want to eat the bread. i just want it to be in my mouth." 

Mimi + wine + Cleo = the most perfect trifecta. 

this awkward shot of sister MM and me

the volleyball game when no one wanted me. that's what she said.  

the tampon drawer is her favorite drawer.  

JJ and his lady 

SLUGBUGREDDDDDDD! 

just chillin. 

JJ taking a pee on the side of the road like white trash. 

fancy! (love love love the new app: a beautiful mess) 

Trouble. again with the tampon drawer!?!?! 

how to give your husband a proper birthday celebration

JJ is 27! that old, old man! we had a fabulous day celebrating our favorite person in the whole wide worrrrrrrrld! i thought i would compile a list of the things a gal should do to make her husband's birthday a special one:

1. make sugar cookies and display them on the cake plates received as a wedding gift nearly four years ago that have never been used.

2. buy him clothes that you want him to wear. wrap them up.

3. blow up 15 green balloons and almost pass out.

4. try and keep 11-month-old baby from chewing on said balloons. 

5. buy all the miniature sporting sets in the deceptive target "dollar aisle" that were actually $3.  

6. arrange all of the things like this:

7. take delight in the fact that G has learned a new word: "BAAAAA!" (which is ball or balloon and is said in a very scratchy smoker's voice)

8. dress the baby up in his favorite hockey team's (that you could give a hoot less about) gear:

9. slap the birthday man in the face with one of those giant sticky hands (not pictured) and laugh ass off because really it's THAT FUNNY. repeat. repeat. repeat. repeat. repeat until the birthday man yells at you to "knock it off before he slaps you back with his real hand" and then repeat ONCE MORE just to be annoying (the picture shows JJ about 4 slaps in. he pretended to be sad. which only made me laugh harder).

10. cook the birthday boy's favorite dinner (which, lucky for me, was takeout thai food).

a tale of a nap gone awry

i'm so broke. i wore this outfit on friday and people stared at me like i was a nutjob. which i totally am so it was ok. 

we went to my parents house for mother's day. it was such a wonderful first mother's day. my two favorites in the world treated me like the queen i am for the whole day. 

what wasn't wonderful was saturday. aside from the fact that nobody wanted me on their team for the family volleyball match (rude), Gemma was like a vampire and refused to sleep. she woke up at 3 a.m. for the whole day. just up. awake and ready to party at 3 a.m. she finally went down for a nap at 6:30. which was when i decided to cuddle up and relax and possibly take a chair nap. i hate bed naps. i always feel tired and disoriented and unsatisfied when i wake up. so i decided to take a chair nap since they are not as long. plus, i needed one at this point. but Chanel had other plans. she came slinking around (with her stupid summer haircut) seeking approval. SEEKING APPROVAL BECAUSE SHE HAD A DEAD MOUSE IN HER MOUTH--scratch that. upon closer inspection--A HALF DEAD MOUSE IN HER MOUTH. omg omg omg. vomit. Lola caught wind of the situation and chased after Chanel, who then dropped the paralyzed and frightened mouse. it writhed around in pain and it was so sad. my Mom went over to shoo Lola away so Chanel could finish the job. but that evil feline only wanted to watch the poor creature suffer. she batted at it, urging it to play. it laid on its back, squirming around, beady little eyes filled with terror. it finally made its way to safety under a flower basket, where it could die in peace.

a few hours later, as JJ and i were pressure washing my parents' deck (just please), JJ moved the mouse's flower box and accidentally pressure washed it off the deck. i screamed. it was still alive, the little Hercules. it landed face-first into the grass. i thought the trip down might have killed him. we peered over the edge of the deck. nope. he wiggled around, refusing to die. "DADDDDDDD!!!! DADDDD COME HEREEE!" is what i screamed urgently. he walked casually (no one seems to care when i scream urgently) over to the mouse. "DAD IT'S DYING AND IT'S SUFFERING. KILL IT!" he bent over with his bare hands and picked it up by the tail, flinging it over the cliff. where i can only hope he finally met Death. the whole experience was very traumatic.

the thing is, that is exactly why i don't take naps. 

a most perfect weekend.

my parents came to visit last weekend! which meant JJ and i got a date night on Friday. which was thrilling. we went downtown for sushi and we felt like very cool city people. 

the weekend was beautiful and sunny. and so my parents kick-started our yard makeover. my Dad made me go to the home depot with him. i just haaaaaate the home depot. it's so brutal inside that stupid store. we spent like an hour hunting down all of the needed supplies. part of me thinks i may run into a serial killer in the home depot, just buying some rope and an axe and duct tape. i'm always on high alert in there. 

anyway, so we dug up the ugly plants and bushes and planted hydrangeas and azaleas and rhododendrons and peonies and lilacs! and while we were digging i just felt like we would definitely for sure find the skeleton of a person in my yard. i think maybe i need to take a break from watching Revenge. i watched the whole first season in a week. and last night i couldn't even go to sleep because i was paranoid that the white-haired man was outside in my yard plotting my death. anyway. back to the yard: it's so pretty now! we love it. thanks Mom and Dad! 

Gemma also says thank you for fixing her swing so that it's not dangerously jimmy-rigged to the pergola anymore. 

on Saturday the men went golfing and Nannie, Gemstar and i headed to Bellevue for lunch and a bit of shopping. then we came home and spent the rest of the day outside. Gemmie was thrilled to be naked all afternoon. we don't have a baby pool, so i filled up a mixing bowl with water and some toys. 

that blue boob looking thing is a Plui. and it's so awesome. best bath toy ever!

and this happened:

it really was the perfect day.

on Sunday morning we went to the Space Needle for brunch. 

the crab eggs benedict is TOP NOTCH. and the fresh squeezed grapefruit juiceeeee. i poured my mom's leftover juice in Gemma's empty sippy cup because it's THAT GOOD and i didn't want to leave it behind. 

 JJ took 100 boring landscape pics on my phone from our view at the top.

 and we were all matching, so we got a family shot

 then my parents left and i still get sad every time they leave because i'm such a baby.

THEN it was off for tacos with our friend Big G. and i wore my Mexican party dress. and it was a terrible outfit choice as a nursing mother. Little G could only have access to one boob, unless i decided to take off the whole dress and sit at the taco shop naked. which i didn't. i tried to wrap a blanket around my waist so i could lift the dress up--didn't work. so i tried to shove her under my dress to reach the other side which only made her scream out in frustration. the whole exchange was extremely awkward. and people were all around. damn you, Mexican party dress.

 aside from the Mexican party dress, it was a most perfect weekend.

a romantic encounter

yesterday Gemma and i were running errands, as we do. we were dressed quite preppy; me in a navy-and-green-striped dress and Gem in a light blue polo dress with the collar popped, obviously. (side note: i am now addicted to the show Revenge, and along with the vivid nightmare i got from watching 4 episodes in one day, i also garnered yesterday's style inspiration from Nolan).

anyway, we were running errands. and we were at a stop light. and i have this mirror in my car so i can see what the little munchkin is up to while i'm driving. usually it's feeding Cleo animal crackers, but yesterday i heard her giggling--clearly something was thrilling her. she was being very coy, dipping her chin down and smiling and being so adorably cute. i also noticed she was looking out her window. and so i turned around to see what was so great.

and i see THE MOST handsome man in all of Seattle in a fancy black Mercedes smiling right at her. you guys. YOU GUYS SHE WAS FLIRTING WITH A HOT RICH GUY. and he was loving it. he was laughing and talking to her. i almost felt like an intruder on the two of them and their tête-à-tête! i died laughing--ohmyghoddd she is hilarious.

and now i think JJ and i are in trouble with this little gal and her coquettish ways. 

what's on L's phone?!

hahahahahhahahaaaa i'm so stupid. this was taken during my sister CA's wedding weekend. i said "HEY CHARLIE CHARLIE CHARLIE TAKE MY PIC POSING IN FRONT OF THE FIREPLACE!" and so she did. and this is how stupid i looked. hahahahahhaaaa she sent it to me today and neither of us could stop laughing. 

Sand got this chalkboard and we had WAYYYY too much fun with it!

LJ took this picture of Gemmie and it's just SO SWEET

G and her bff Little M. two little butts on one little chair!

i babyproofed the bottom two shelves! they used to be filled with exxxtremely dangerous things like wires and porcelain bowls and meth. but now it's SO Gem-friendly. 

baby's first taste of spaghetti. rite of passage!

flying with the girlz. 

her new favorite hobby is sitting on top of Cleo without warning. IT'S SO HILARIOUS OMG.

JJ and Gemsicle

my favorite little snugglebum

i love them

yardwork. hahahahahha. and in case you were wondering, YES, JJ does always pulls weeds while wearing dress socks. 

G and cousin N thoroughly enjoying each other. 

pals

this picture captures Gemma's drama-queen-ness SO WELL.

favorite squishy baby face!

"i'm sorry, Queen Lacie is busy right now. may i take your name and number for a message?"

we gave G an early birthday present because it was too sunny outside not to! also do you see JJ photobombing? also, my Dad and i think G has Jimmy Neutron hair...OMG DOESN'T SHE!?!?

yesterday Gemsie Bear and i went on a walk and when we got home i realized she was missing a sock. then today, after a night of Seattle rain, we went on a walk with our friend Sabs and WE FOUND THE MISSING SOCK! floating in a puddle. also, why is my hand so tan and my pointer finger so white? and one more thing: my chipped fingernail polish is making me so annoyed right now. 

no one ever thought they'd see the day. THAT'S ME AND THE LAWN MOWER

some days we take 2.5 hour morning naps, some days we skip them entirely. keeps mom on her toes. 

standing

hahahah my pretty blonde friends. 

Rah and i drink wine by the litre.

two things: 1. yes, i wear these jeans and those boots everyday. 2. i locked myself out of my house again. just please. so i called the locksmith. but he said it would be "anywhere from $50-$150" and i decided that a new window screen is cheaper than that. so i had to break another screen to get myself in. thank goodness for JJ's irresponsible nature for forgetting to lock the window. i wonder how many people saw the crazy lady breaking into the front window of her own house in broad daylight. 

somebody deposited their pants on my property? i mean. wtf?! i had to check the tag to make sure they weren't JJ's pants. because let's be honest: JJ would totally be the person to leave his pants on the sidewalk. size 38. not JJ's. but they were LINEN. which made me think they were part of a spring wedding suit. which made me think that some guy had a little too much fun at their buddy's wedding reception and ditched his pants out the window on his way home. which made me laugh hahahahaa

very serious.