Sunday, January 11, 2009

Hockey Fanz

JJ works for the hockey team in our town. and both his dad and mine bought season tickets. and neither dad lives here. so basically i have 6 free tickets to every game. Rah and i don't usually go out, so we go to the hockey games instead. Our First Chiefs Hockey Game was quite the spectacular event. the hockey games provide an entirely new and fascinating culture in Spokane that we never knew about. and Rah and i have become "avid" fans without even realizing it. 2 of the 6 tickets are in the front row--right on the glass. it's a bit of a surprise the first time you experience one of the players smashing into the glass right in front of you. you're practically making out with them they're so close. the first game we sat in awe staring at the fans, with our mouths open and wondering where in the HELL these people came from.

to our right sits a man who we call "Nutty." we call him this because to each game he brings a stuffed chipmunk wearing a carefully crafted homemade mini Chiefs jersey. the chipmunk also has a mini set of nards. when the opposing team is anywhere within 347 feet in front of Nutty, he presses his chipmunk's stuffed nards against the glass and laughs creepily and chants things like "hey hey hey whatdoyagot?" it's really something.

to our left sits 2 sets of couples. the man closest to Rah is always drunk and chewing tobacco and offers his goods freely to anyone and everyone. behind us and to the right sits a man wearing a radio set from 1976 on his head. and over to our far left is The Big Red Family. 7+ kids. all big. all red. up in section the very tippy top row sits Admiral Toot. he is a rather large man who we think likes to have his farting privacy. hence the lonely, secluded seat at the tippy top. below Admiral Toot, at the bottom of section 216, sits a woman who personally requested that exact seat from JJ because "it's next to the best concession stand."

the other 4 season tickets are for when Rah and i have guests. behind these seats sit The Most Loyal Chiefs Fans Who Ever Lived. a mom, dad, 2 boys, a girl and a family friend. they know every single player by their first name and their Canadian hometown. they wear authentic jerseys to every game. and the girl has a necklace adorned with a signed picture button of each player. these people mean serious business. these fans scream the entire game. ENTIRE GAME. and quite frequently lean over and explain things. i suppose they feel the need to educate us hockey dummies.

Rah and i arrive at 7:45, precisely 45 minutes into the game. we buy a nice cold cup of beer and make our way to our seats. we now have matching Chiefs t-shirts and find ourselves occasionally yelling and whooping our fists in a circular motion. and jumping up and singing the victory song after each goal. and after the game we go to JITB for 2 soy tacos and curly fries. maybe we aren't so different from the "regulars" (i.e. Nutty, Big Red Fam, Admiral Toot...etc) as we thought.


  1. ps. the soy in your jack and the crack taco is real meat.


  2. i just spent an hour researching that............and youre right...........someone lied to me.

    im upset and might throw up. thnx monica

  3. nutty...classic. you forgot to mention the goal gong, that very well may be the best part of the games. Remember when mom tried huck a puck and it barely made it over the glass? hahaha

  4. now i know why you love spokane. and how did you not know that was meat? come on!

  5. you secretly still love meat. admit it. in fact i bet you even miss chili dogs. remember how you used to make me eat the end of hot dogs for you....hahahahahahaaa.


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