Monday, March 9, 2009

greeeeeen

is it weird that i shower with my dog? communal bathing! i am so totally green.

Rah and Nebular have their own business (check it out! greencupboards.com) they sell environmentally friendly cleaning products. their business combined with my extreme liberalism have inspired me to lead a greener life as a greener person. i am also reading "Wicked" the story of the wicked witch of the west in the Wizard of Oz, and clearly she really IS green. like, really her skin is green.

ways in which i am green:

1. i shower 2-3 times a week. and share my showers with the dog. thus saving water.

2. i use refreshening powder in Chanel's litterbox, thus preventing the waste of kitty litter. thus saving me money. thus saving the world from total kitty litter domination.

3. i don't wear bras. thus letting the girls fly free. thus saving material. thus saving third world children from sewing shitty VS undergarments.

4. i have a Ficus. (from 91-year-old plant man Larry at the retirement community). i learned in third grade that trees inhale carbon monoxide and turn it into the oxygen we breathe. which i don't really understand because trees don't have mouths or lungs. but anyway...thus our house is more oxygen-filled, thus all the more oxygen in the world.

5. i use only one plastic baggie to every 6 of Cleopatra's poopsies. you see, i only "flush her toilet" about once a week. (which is a small patch of grass outside our house. we got a note on our door yesterday from our landlord saying that she doesn't like seeing poopsies in our grass and we need to pick the poopsies up right when they come out of Cleopatra's bhole-io. however, i think it is wayyyy more green to flush the grass once a week...THUS saving plastic baggies, thus preventing them from sitting in a landfill someplace in Nevada).

6. i recycle all of my wine bottles. thus making me feel like drinking more wine is totally justified.

7. my wedding save-the-dates have real flowers on them. thus sharing the green-ness with my family and friendz. or wait...is that bad because i stole flowers from the earth just so i could have the best save-the-dates ever?

8. i use about 4 squares of TP every time i wipe (number 1 only...there is no limit to TP squares for a number 2...it's an unwritten rule). thus wasting less paper. thus saving the trees.

9. i went whale watching once. thus meaning i like whales. thus meaning i support the save the whales cause.

10. i have a fake Christmas tree. thus saving the real Christmas trees from being cut, decorated and admired only to be thrown out on January 3rd by nasty nasty humans.

11. my chapstick says "not tested on animals." thus saving poor innocent creatures from being poked and prodded for the sake of human beauty.

12. i have a hemp necklace. thus making me green because green people wear hemp.

13. i rarely shave my armpits or legs. thus making me more hippie-like.

14. i have a mary kay face mask that is literally green. thus making me green.

GO GREEN

8 comments:

  1. i live more green than you! including taking those reusable bags to the grocery store. no more bottled water and buying green TP and paper towels. i'm a horrible republican. we're not supposed to care about this stuff.

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  2. Wow LG you truly are green.

    Thanks for mentioning http://www.GreenCupboards.com in your blog.

    We'll be sending you a FREE cupboard TODAY! On the house, just for you (& JJ & Cleo & Fat Cat)

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  3. Attn: Legally brunette. It is actually the "new republic" way to be green. It took them a while... but slowly they are beginning to come around.

    And I beat you both b/c I don't use plastic bags at all...and I rarely flush which disgusts my rommate. yellow let it mellow right?

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  4. i let it mellow, i live alone no one to judge.

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  5. sar was the one who knew it was a fiscus.

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  6. I certainly hope you don't have any carbon monoxide in your home! If you did, not only would your ficus be dead, but you and JJ wouldn't fare well either. You didn't learn much in said science class, Sweetheart. Plants convert carbon DIoxide. You need to get a couple reusable grocery bags from greencupboards.com--they're cute AND green!

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  7. thanks mom. i know im dumb. all i learned from science class was how NOT to look like ms. gustin.

    ReplyDelete

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