that a girl goes through! yeahhh bringin back the 90s music. no but really. it was one of those days...
i woke up on friday feeling annoyed. just in a terrible mood. and of course Chanel was hungry so she paced around my bed until i got up to feed her. and she got all tangled in my feet (plus balance in the morning isn't quiiiite up to par) so i tripped over her royal fatness and fell. then screamed at her. all this commotion woke Cleopatra up, and while i was gathering my bearings again, the little shit jumped off the bed and just peed. right on the carpet. and with no shame. and i could hear it. the pee hitting the carpet. ARRGHHHHH so i threw her outside, fed Chanel, and went back to bed. i just wasn't ready for the world yet. my pets already destroyed my morning.
after regis and kelly i finally decided to try and get up again. truthfully i felt a bit rejuvenated and felt pretty good. kelly clarkston was the guest and she got as fat as a whale, and i'm still skinny. so i looked both ways (no Chanel in sight this thime) and popped out of bed. i wiggled into some "exercise clothes" and texted JJ: "where is a good place to walk a dog?" and he told me to go up this hill by our house, which led me to a housing development. so i texted him again: "you want me to walk the dog in a housing development that we don't live in? you are SO STUPID nevermind i should have googled it." and then i just screamed in agitation because when i was trying to type in "googled," my phone kept saying "foogled." which for some reason realllly set me off that morning.
so i turned my car around and we drove to a trail. we got out and started walking. "this is nice" i thought to myself, then Cleo stops, sniffs and garbles up a piece of white goose poop. dammmmmmmittttttt CLEOOOOOO!!!!!
we had a pleasant little jaunt about Spokane, then went home for a nap. when we woke up i had to go to work for a couple of hours. then the kids ditched me to hang out with their neighbor and his babysitter.
i decided to call my mom and complain about the economy and my lack of a stable career, then i needed a drink. so i called Rah (MNO!) and we went to a dirty bird bar and got a $7 pitcher of beer and complained about our lives for about an hour. ("well all i ever wanted was a backyard...then i'll be happy." gulp. "well all that i ever wanted was a career." gulp. sigh. gulp.) then we went to the hockey game. and JUST OUR LUCK it was Buck Night (as in hotdogs, popcorn and pop are all $1 a piece!!!) so we wait in the beer line (no Buck Night on Beer damn) and it's about 3 miles long. after we wait the 15 minutes to get to the front, the beermaid with 1 tooth (not an exaggeration) said, "it's all foam. sorry. try the next stand."
i couldn't even help but scream "I. HATE. SPOKANE." into Rah's ear. so about 3 hours later we finally get beer but OF COURSE THEY ARE OUT OF BUCK POPCORN at the stand. so we go to the next stand. the girl was chattering to her friend but i cut in and said, "yes, 2 Buck Popcorns and a peanut m&m please." she hands me the popcorn as i hand her hello kitty, and just as i am about to touch my tongue to that buttery salty goodness, she said, "oh sorry, we don't take anything but cash." i slowly slid my tongue back into my mouth, set the almost-damaged popcorn back onto the counter and made my eyes slanty at the girl. then i sighed and we went to our seats. by this time the second period is halfway over. BUT what do i find under my seat?! a glorious set of unopened, unused cheerstix! (you know, the long things you inflate and bang together?) so obviously Rah and i opened them and shared them and banged them on the glass and were having a jolly good time.
then 2 men (one tall and skinny, the other short and leprechaun-y) came and sat next to us. one says to the other, "where are my cheerstix?" i nudge Rah and we quietly set "our" cheerstix on the ground. then they look at us. but of course we pretend like we have no idea what they're talking about. we just look straight forward at the players' butts. then the Leprechaun gets all huffy and whispers something (probably mean) to Tall Skinny. then they storm off. MEN. such babies.
then back to the dirty bird bar for one nightcap. a fat married man asks me to buy him a drink. i mean, do i look like the kind of person who buys a fat married man a drink? no. idiot.
from start to finish it was just one of those days. like, just when i think things might be perking up, something else crap happens. so i said to myself before bed, "goodbye crap day. tomorrow is new." then i woke up with diarrhea.