no theme. just a collection of today's thoughts/annoyances.
The Poop Nazi is in an exceptionally nasty mood today. she must have had trouble taming her mullet this morning. it's hard to be a receptionist. everyone thinks you're dumb. i told my mom how rude Poop Nazi was being and she said, "kill the biotch with kindness." sound advice.
i had weeeeird dreams last night.
1. i was 8 months pregnant in a bar taking shots. and i was rubbing my belly and it felt really big in my dream which makes me wonder if i really was rubbing my real belly in my sleep. which appalls me because does that mean my belly is big?
2. i was on an airplane with britney spears. the top of the plane flew off and we had a crash landing on an LA freeway. the plane sort of just convertible-rode it on the freeway. we (me and brit) just put on our sunglasses and let the wind flow through our hair. we quite enjoyed the ride.
3. the entire town of Selah was riding a bus and passing around a blunt. the mayor was wearing a bob marley wig. (JJ and i have been watching Showtime's "Weeds" lately...)
4. Cleo jumped off the bed to poop. oh wait, that was real.
Last week we got a giant package that was as tall as my waist. i found out that my grandma and aunt had bought my wedding shower gifts and accidentally sent them to me. well obviously i wasn't going to open it. i was going to take it back home with me next week. well, JJ and i went on Little Date Night (dinner and a movie) and forgot to give Cleo a bone to gnarl on while we were gone........she loves cardboard though........and chewed a tiny hole right through our wedding gift box. what did i see? the unmistakable "K" in Kitchenaid. SWEET! but, it wasn't my fault! Cleo opened it, not me or JJ! now i don't want to take it back. i want to open it and use it. you know, like actually bake something.
just an hour ago i went to shopbop.com and found the cutest ever one piece black swimsuit with a super ruffly shoulder strap. it was roughly 200 dollars. i realllly want it. but no cigar. sometimes you just gotta say no. so i went to victoriassecret.com and somehow spent roughly 200 dollars on 5 swimsuits. i got more bang for my buck, yet i still spent 200 dollars. hopefully about 3 of them will be ugly and i'll return them and get my money back. maybe. just maybe.
also, i have a cyclops zit. thanks, God.