Monday, May 4, 2009


KKiss came into town for bloomsday this last weekend. she was all ripe and happy and ready 2 run. bulghhh. i told her that i would be waiting at the finish line with a bag of chips. me and Rah picked her up from the airport and then we went to happy hour at azteca with JJ and Nebular. and of course we had the waitress who kicked me and Crazylegs and The Black Dahlia and Juelz Santana out that one time in college. and she remembered me. sorry lady. whatevs. after aztec the plan was to pop into a bar for a drink or two, but when we got in the car (Nebular's car, he likes to drive) the girls said, "off to a bar!!!" and Nebular didn't do anything. he just got on the freeway heading home. well, i, uh.....ok.

so we had some wine and some laughs and went to bed. the next morning i went to work. work on saturdays is literally the most boring thing ever in life. i do nothing. i complete my job description in 8 minutes and have the next 7 hours and 52 minutes to dink around. (i amcurrently getting through a book entitled "John Adams") well this particular day i was facebook chatting with Crazylegs. just telling her how bored i was, etc etc. then Frank the Mailman comes to deliver the mail. and he is just this really annoying person. he treats me like i literally have no brain. he always puts his hands on his knees and talks down to me. "do you understand what i am saying?" YES MF-ER I UNDERSTAND HOW TO PUT AN ENVELOPE IN THE MAILBOX. he is just so rude. and he really got to me that day (what is it with the reoccuring mailman issues in my life??) i thought he left because he said goodbye to me, so i started telling Crazylegs via facebook messenger how annoying he is and that i hate him. but when i turn around Frank the Mailman is literally creeping over my shoulder (and he smells like wet dirt) and asks me another question. i'm like "GUY I GOT IT THNX DON'T NEED YOUR HELP PLZ LEAVE" i try to click out of facebook so he couldn't see that i was talking about him, but my computer at work is a crap PC dinosaur so it freezes and like 18 windows pop up saying "program failed" so i think Frank the Mailman caught me talking shit about him via facebook messenger at work. well, i guess that's what i get for talking shit via facebook messenger at work. hope i don't get fired.

anyway, i'm dying to get off because KKiss is at my house just hanging out with JJ and i wanted to see her, but what do you think happens after work? i get ambushed by Dee in 712 to come to her apartment for a visit. the dear woman. i love her to death but i'm trying to hurry. and she commandeers me for an hour. shows me some wonderful things; her old tap shoes, her wedding dress, trinquets from South Africa....and the "lingerie" (i.e. floor length dress and matching robe) her friends gave her for her wedding night. and she gives said "lingerie" to me to take home and keep. and she's telling me she wants to adopt me and she doesn't have kids and it's so nice to talk to me. and she is so sweet so i can't say i need to go. finally i leave, with "lingerie" in hand, and i speed home.

KKiss and i then travel to the bloomsday expo, have a few free doughnuts and go sign her up for the race. who is the person who gives her the racing number? one of my coworkers. i smile and wave at her like an idiot.....nothin. not even a glimpse of recognition. i mean, i like to think of myself as an unforgettable person, and i talk to this woman every week. it was a blow to the face and the ego. (i came into work this morning and walk into the office to make copies of the residents' menu for the week. when i'm finished, i turn around and am face-to-face with Bloomsday Coworker's boobs. she says, "oh, look out." and what is she wearing? that stupid bloomsday volunteer t-shirt).

on sunday, as i'm telling one of the residents "HECK NO I DON'T RUN" in response to "don't you wish you were doing bloomsday?" 90-year-old, Peggy in room 229 comes out of the elevator dressed in running gear complete with an ipod. oh for pete sake. even a 90-year-old is doing the damn thing. i quietly promise myself, "next year..."

KKiss runs bloomsday and when she's finished and i get off work, she, JJ and i head to qdoba. MIS-TAKE. we went to the mall afterword, and let's just say we have seen a little too much of the inside of the food court bathroom facilities.

the weekend is over before i know it. i bid adieu to KKiss and go home and try on all my summer dresses for 2 hours. then JJ and i watch "The Firm" (1990's movie with tom cruise...based on john grisham novel) before bed and i dream the mafia is after me.

until next time, dear readers.


  1. LacieLiz - Have you tried on the lingerie yet? You probably want to get it laundered first. Is that what you were wearing when the wise guys were after you? Inre Cliff/Newman: I, too, hate to be talked down to like an idiot. I'm at a loss as to what you should do to alter his demeanor towards you; although something like "Frank, you're awfully nice, and I appreciate your friendliness, but I wouldn't want to get you into any trouble.....Aunt Karen says that postal carriers shouldn't chit-chat too much if efficiency goals are ever to be reached and stable postal rates finally realized." When he asks who Aunt Karen is, say "Karen you know her?" FYI - she's Spokane's Postmaster. This is a play on the classic "Apparantly, you don't know who I am" means of dealing w/ snobs or a-holes. :)

  2. baaaaaaaaaahahahahah

    how did you know spokane's postmaster??? google? or....???

  3. You are not your mother's daughter; she wins marathons. You are too much like me, and I don't mean in a good way, althoug I am really a good, great person, and so are you, but we fall down in the marathon dept.

  4. qdoba is ALWAYS a mistake. you are a better friend than me. I tell kkiss to suck it up and eat tbell like the rest of us.

  5. i effing HATE qdoba and their over priced soggy food. LJ is right kkiss can suck it.


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