Sunday, May 10, 2009

where were your pants stupid?

on thursday i got 2 magazines: cosmo with my fave leighton meester (gossip girl) on the cover, and vogue with "inside the lives of models" on the cover. HOLY SHISTE, what a good magazine night!!! so i was in my pjs at 8, in bed at 8:03. i was just reading away, having a jolly ol time, wishing leighton meester was my friend in real life because she said, "the best fashion advice i ever got was: wear whatever the hell you want." what a coooool bitch!

but Cleo was so hyper and bouncing all over the place. jumping off the bed and chasing Chanel. and JJ was just getting out of the shower so i casually half-asked him while deep into my magz to take Cleo out to poo. he huffed and whined then opened the door to let her out. Cleo isn't really a fan of men, we have come to find out. JJ opened the door, and out Cleo zipped out barking like a crazy crazy fool. JJ then swung the door wide open to yell at her, and there he was, our neighbor, an odd fellow in his 20s, who was outside taking his garbage can to the curb. JJ was standing at the door, in all his glory, his frame silhouetted by the moonlight. he was naked. JJ is so astounded and so embarrassed that he slams the door and screams at me to "GET YOUR DOGGG I JUST SCARED THE NEIGHBOR WITH MY NAKED SELF" and i was like "OHMYGODDDD hahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha" so i got up to get dummy Cleo. in passing, JJ gave me a look of pure revulsion. and i just couldn't stop laughing.

i run out to get Cleo and Odd Neighbor is still just hanging around. Cleo is standing 3 feet from him just yappin away. Odd Neighbor says, "i, uh, don't think your dog likes me." i feel like saying, "then why the eff are you still out here hanging around the dumb thing??" but i don't say it. he just sort of stands there awkwardly, like wondering if he should continue a conversation with me or not. i personally think he just didn't know what to say about "the incident" and was a bit shell-shocked. i mean, how would you, as a young man, react, if you neighbor, another young man, opened the door and a white and apricot flash run towards you to bark, and when you look up to see where the flash came from, you see your young man neighbor naked on his front stoop?

that would be quite enough excitement for a thursday evening in May, dontchya think?

back in bed an hour later, still reading my magz (but still inwardly laughing) i look up and say to JJ, "can i just ask you one thing?" "yes," he sighs, and he knows it's coming...

"but really though....where were your pants stupid? hahahahahahhahahahahahahahahahhahha"

1 comment:

  1. ahahahaha he was like a beacon in the night. there for all the world to see.


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