Tuesday, May 19, 2009

wild wild westport

May 15 2009

in the car at 12:30: 2 men, 2 women, (me, JJ, Rah, Nebular) 2 dogs, 2 kennels, 4 suitcases, 187 bags of extra other shit, 3 computers, 45 bags of food, 4 blankets, 2 handbags, 3 backpacks....i mean the list goes on. basically the car was jammed full of things for a 40 hour time spend at the place.
car ride = 7 hrs. discovered: i am the only one who hates driving, Benjamin Pierre (Rah & Nebular's dog) is seroiusly and deathly afraid of red motorcycles, Huggies wipes work to clean dog piss from leather seats, Nebular is a workaholic (put blanket over his head and computer in the car so he could focus), it takes a looooong time to get to westport, rent-a-center workers love hitting on blondes, Rah can pee for 22 minutes straight (7 water bottles between the two of us wasn't a good idea), boys like to drive illegally with headphones on, Cleo's kennel is too small.

Cleo + Benjamin Pierre = ebony & ivory living in perfect harmony
arrived at destination approx. 8 pm. changed and full make-up in the car. definitely mooned some innocent passerbys (trying to put on skinny jeans in the car is entirely stupid). everyone but Nebular was exhausted at this point. practically was asleep at the dinner table. actually fell asleep during comedy show. JJ loses phone at show. show wasn't even good. get back into car, head to hotel.
hotel: 1 am. PTFO

May 16, 2009

7 am: my alarm goes off.

7:02: back to sleep

8:41 am: wake suddenly to remember dogs are still in kennel in car. jump out of bed. take dogs for walk on the beach. dogs are elated. Cleo loses in wrestling battle. gets filthy wet and hideously ugly. see picture.

10 am: leave hotel. get saltwater taffy. go to surfing contest. see dog the size of bear. JJ consumes deluxe chilidog.

11 am: antique shopping for an hour. delish clam chowder.

noon: to the winery! Rah gets glass of wine, i get one tablespoon of wine. typical luck. (here we are at the winery...all 6 of us!)

1: back to the hotel for a rest and some wine in a mug

3: back into town for crabbing. ok, so we go to this gas station to rent a "crab pot" and Rah ends up being convinced to BUY: 1 crab pot, 1 bucket, 1 frozen dead fish, 1 bucket, 1 crabbers license, 1 crab measuring stick, 1 metal stake, and t-shirts. all for $65 "what a steal" we thought. we ask the girl behind the counter at the gas station what we actually needed to do and this is what she said, "just poke this metal stake through the fish's eyes and then attatch it the crab pot." WHAT?!?!?! POKE A SHARP METAL OBJECT THROUGH A FISH'S EYES? I'M GOING TO BARF. and who do you think ended up doing that? who? WHO?!!! me. that's right, i did it. it was so disgusting and the fish's eyes squirted out clear jelly. i attatched it to the pot and we threw er in! (we also saw a seal and Rah thought it was going to eat us) then we walked with the dogs around the downtown area, got some ice cream, had some laughs and went to check on the crab pot to see if we caught anything. i said on the way down, "with our luck we have nothing." Rah and JJ pulled up the pot out of the water and lo and behold: ARK! 6 crabs! they were a creepin and a crawlin, and it turns out everyone is afraid of live crabs except myself. so i hunkered down in my wellies and picked up those little things and threw em in the bucket.

me hunkering down catchin crabs with my bare hands

what happens next you ask? a "local" comes by and checks out our crabs. (ha ha ha) he says, "WOW that's the biggest female i've seen all day! how did you guys do that?!" we all proudly stood with our chests puffed up looking smug and said, "oh, we just threw the pot out a half hour ago right here, we're just good i guess." and the local says, "well it's just a shame you have to throw them all back." we stare at him. "WHY?!?!?!" we say. "because you can't eat the females." offfffffffffffffffffffff courrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrse we can't eat ANY of the 6 crabs we caught. all girls. those sluts. so we give up on life and head home grumpy. THEN we see a man selling fresh crab out of the back of his pickup truck. so we bought 3 for $20 from him. then we went to the grocery store and bought $30 worth of side dishes. all in all, we had a delicious $115 meal. we planned on going to the surfing party after dinner but we were all stuffed full and went to bed.

the biggest female

May 17, 2009 (hbday mom)

8 am: pack

9 am: leave

so here's the shirts we got. didn't realize how fat they sounded until after we bought them.

we arrived home that evening, just in time to give Chanel more food. even though we left 2 giant bowls overflowing for the 2 days we were gone.

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