every morning on my coffee break in the library, along with Daphne (room 436) the farting Wall Street Journal reader, i see Ruth (room 638) asleep in one of the chairs, with the front page of the Spokesman-Review dangling between her fingers. this never really bothers me because the best part of the Spokesman is the Today section. that's where Heloise's Hints and the comics and The Slice and the celebrity birthdays and Dear Annie are.
well i waltzed quietly (as to keep from disturbing The Sleeping Ruthie) into the library during my coffee break, and went to reach for the Today section. but i only see the sports section. i mean come on. sports. i hate. i look up at Ruth and she has BOTH the front page and the Today section wedged between her hands. and i think she was having a pretty intense dream because she was clenching the paper and had a furrow in her brow. so there was no way i was getting the Today section.
so i went back to look at the other reading selections "Arthritis and You" "Reader's Digest" "Aging" "Guideposts Large Print" and i just got real annoyed. so i huffed and sat back down and attempted to read the the boring boring sports section.
then a miracle happend. The Sleeping Ruthie did a little jerk in her slumber and dropped one of the sections. i held my breath, hoping, longing, waiting....and YES! it was the Today section! so i stealthily snatched Today and slid back into my seat. i was just giggling at the Family Circus comic when i looked up to see The Sleeping Ruthie's eyes open just a slight slant, staring at me and my Today. she looked like a dragon ready to torch me. she startled me so i jumped up, yelled to Daphne "SEEYALATERDAPHGOTTAGOBACKTOWORK" and ran outta there......
i barely escaped.