Sunday, June 28, 2009

the way it really goes.

2 months ago: my printer from freshman year in college broke. so i bashed it and threw it in the trash. it was sooooo liberating.

friday morning: my flat iron broke on one side. ONE SIDE was stone cold and the other hot as branding iron. so my "hair" was a combination of frizzy and stick straight.
friday morning: i realized i really really really need a printer.

friday at 11 am: head out the door with Cleo into town (sorry i call it "town" it's the country in me) to do 4 things:

1. go to staples. buy printer. buy paper for wedding programs.
2. go to the printers. hand over program information and newly purchased paper.
3. go to michaels (and/or craft warehouse). buy pink string to tie programs.
4. go to tj maxx. buy new flat iron.

how it really went:

1. went to staples. bought $70 printer! and ink. buy paper for wedding programs.

2. go to printers. decide i hate paper i bought at staples. momentarily think of going back to exchange, then change my mind, deciding i don't care. hand over program information. it's the wrong size. have to go home, redo it and bring it back in.

3. go to michaels. buy pink string to tie programs. buy one more can of Martha Stewart Sugar Sparkles. giggle at novelty 4th of July top hat for pets, then buy it for Cleo.

4. go to tj maxx. walk in door with resolve to grab flat iron and leave right away. however, see beautiful chair on display. look at price tag. $150 (originally $275). not bad. stare at chair for 5 more minutes. leave chair. walk over to flat irons. pick one out. walk back over to chair. stare at chair again. "i'll take this chair," i say to the salesperson. "would you like to open a tj maxx card and save 10% today?" says the salesperson. "why yes, yes i would," i say. open up credit card. save $20. not bad. plan to pay bill as soon as it comes and cancel credit card. realize they used my driver's license to get address. realize tj maxx creidt card statement is going to my parent's house. feel rush of excitement as salesperson loads my (beautiful, tall backed, linen and pink chenille flowered, with dark wood legs and silver studs all around) chair in my car. get in car. Cleo sits in chair the whole way home. think for a just a fleeting moment that this chair MAYYY not go over well with JJ when he gets home. call Crazylegs to make me feel better about my purchase. hey, if she can justify spending $1500 on a pair of knee-high Chanel boots while still in school, then she can justify anything.

5. go to taco bell. get chalupa and XL mountain dew. look in the backseat at Cleo. look at myself in mirror. "self, it's fine. you'll just close the account after you pay off the chair (and flat iron) in one easy payment. and JJ will like the chair. that is that."

6. get home. Cleo is sleeping on chair. remove sleeping dog from chair. put chair inside. realize chair won't fit with current living room arrangement. remember JJ complaining about living room arrangement. re-arrange living room brilliantly so that JJ is so excited by the new couch position that offers prime game-watching status, he won't notice pink chair.

7. go to work.

8. get text at work "lovin the new arrangement" (yessss!)

9. get home. "so, uh, JJ, how do you, uh, likemynewchair?" he looks at me and says, "i actually love it. it's mobile enough that i can move it into the center of the room when i'm playing NHL on my xbox." (hey, if that's his reason for liking the chair, i'll take it!!!!!)

isn't it funny how you go into town with a list of things to do and buy, and something happens to change your whole day? i love that feeling. when it's just going to be a mundane, boring, errand-running kind of a day, then all of a sudden you happen upon something fabulous like my beautiful chair. i sat in it wearing my wedding veil (it came in the mail yesterday) all evening, thinking to myself how this chair and JJ are going to be in my life from now until forever. and i got all warm and giggly inside.


  1. Can you post pictures of things like the chair, the front elevation of the Steelhead, Loopy, etc? It would help simple minds such as mine get a better feel for the nuances laying between the lines within your blogs. For instance, I'm betting I could better picture/feel the rediculousness of JJ slamming somebody into the glass, dislodging bloody teeth into crowd whilst atop the pink TJMaxx wonder if I new how effeminate said chair was. ed

  2. its not town and its not craft warehouse.

  3. Great Blog, I agree with you.Please keep at your good work, I would come back often.

  4. who the hell is Grace?

    thanks spam.


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