Monday, August 24, 2009

girl vs law

today is my sister M's bday. she is 21. which is clearly the best birthday that exists. after 21 there aren't any exciting birthdays. BUT, M's bday is an EXTREME cause for celebration. even more than the average person's 21st.

my sister doesn't like to drink carbonated beverages (weird) so she refuses beer, she hates wine, and generally doesn't like to drink alcohol because it tastes bad. she never drinks even though she's in college.....................well, almost never.

June 29, 2007. one month before MY 21st bday. M was in town for a visit. i had gotten a new car for my birthday and she drove it to Spokane for me. that night, she stayed with me. and she, Moon and i went to a summer beer pong party. we had a total blast, and instead of walking the 10 blocks home, we decided to call our roommate McCrack to come and pick us up.

then McCrack got pulled over. for a taillight being out. christ. Moon, M and i all have cups o' beer in our hands, so it obviously smells like alc in McCrack's jetta. so the cop gives McCrack a sobriety test, then proceeds to ask the rest of us if "we had been drinking?"

i said yes. M said yes. Moon said no, then said only 2 drinks, then said only 5 drinks.

then. we. got. MIPs. all 3 of us.

so the cop wrote us each a ticket and took our picture. quite luckily i happened to be wearing a cowboy hat. so i posed with one hand on my hip, left leg crossed in front of right and head titled slightly....akin to my pose at the driver's licensing office, and i smiled.

afterwards, Moon continued to take her fake ID and party until dawn, while M and i opted to call it a night. later that night in bed, i tapped M's shoulder and i said, "heh heh heh, it's kind of funny isn't it?" she she cried, "NO IT ISN'T" and started sobbing. it had been too soon i guess.

we all had to go to court. it was the most disgusting room of people ever on earth. including chained up prisoners in orange jumpsuits. Moon and i ended up paying fines, and we were both almost 21 anyway, so whatevs.

poor poor poor M. she paid her fine, and had to check in with an officer periodically throughout the next year.

then little M decided to drink once more in college. . . . . phone call from her the next morning. "L, i got another one..." she said. "another one what?" said i. she started crying.

to make a long story short, M has had to deal with more law jargon than i care to think about. they think she's like this raving alcoholic who can't control herself, when both were simply classic cases of being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

and of course, with her luck, on her 21st birthday, her volleyball team is in "dry season" (who would ever create such a horrible thing as "dry season" ??) so she can't party like an animal. she gets ONE DRINK at team dinner tonight. i told her to go with a long island ice tea or an AMF.

so here's to M: congratulations! you no longer have to fear the law.

note: this blog WOULD HAVE included the picture of me that the cop took that fateful June night. i asked the court if i could have it and they said, "why would you want a copy of your mug shot?" and i said, "because i'm fairly certain i look incredibly cool and fun." ....... "no," they said.


  1. I am sure you looked totally cool! Maybe you will make one of those reality criminal shows on tv one of these days!

  2. HAhaha... Love it! You are dead on about her luck... stupid law. She had a Bay City Bomber tonight, which has a PLETHORA of alcohol in it! Loads of fun!

  3. I'm very proud you "called a ride". Next time try to eliminate any "probable cause" such as non-working lights or beer in the car. Check the lights [it takes a sec], dump the suds & drive the speedlimit. It's all about probable cause. MK, happy 21st. I've got to know, how did you get the 2nd MIP? Kegger get busted? I'm sorry you've gone through the stress. We know you're an excellent role model. Unfortunately, "the law" often makes erroneous assumptions. They do try, God bless them. e

  4. I was getting a ride home. Again. There was a 'Chester Molester" van that had 2 undercover, unmarked cops in it. Scared the CRAP out of me!!

  5. Meg - dump the suds. Never, ever have an open container in the rig -I bet I'm preaching to the choir at this point. Take care.


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