Tuesday, August 25, 2009

the morning routine

we all have them. every morning we do it the same. Rah and i went to dinner last night, and somehow morning routines came up. by the end of describing each other's, as well as our mates', we were doubled over from laughing. because the things we all do.....are so weird. and we are such creatures of habit.

i get up at 6:30. my first order of business is to slip out of bed and get my toothbrush ready. then i take Cleo out to potty, and while she goes, i stand outside and brush my teeth in my underwear. (i am so modest, didn't you know?) then we go inside, i give the dog a treat, and i go into the bedroom and annoy JJ for approximately 3 minutes. (i am a morning person, he is not...until after he's had his coffee) then i sit on the floor and do my makeup. after i have a nice looking face, i put on the outfit i set out the night before, and hairspray my head without brushing it. then i go into the kitchen and feed Cleo and Chanel, make myself a sandwich for lunch, conjure up a cup of coffee and grab breakfast to-go. when i get in the car i call my Mother. she counts on my 7:11 am call every Sat, Sun, Mon, Tues. i talk to her until i get to work. then i go inside, get my morning duties situated and then eat my breakfast. then around 8, (usually between 8:01-8:07) it's time for my coffee dump. the end.

JJ gets up at 7. after i annoy him, he finally rises out of bed to go straight to the cappuccino machine without a word. about 10 minutes later, when he is just finishing frothing his 2% milk in the plastic mug with the green rim that came with the magic bullet (he claims it's the perfect size), he kisses me goodbye before i go to work. however, if it's a Wed, Thurs or Fri, i am still in bed, so he has to let Cleo out and feed the animals. then he sits in the pink chair in the living room and drinks his latte while he checks his laptop: espn.com, insidesocal.com, ladodgers.com and letsgokings.com. when he's finished with his coffee, he brushes his teeth and gets in the shower. he takes a loooooooong one. 15 minutes, and gets out, wrapping his towel around his natural waist. like he wears it so high it's almost touching his nipples. then he shaves. then he picks out his outfit. he gets dressed, and leaves the house at 8:15 on the dot, arriving at work at 8:30. he isn't technically supposed to be there until 9, but he likes to have a half hour to sit by himself and prepare for his morning. (and if i'm not home and he oversleeps and gets to work at 8:45, which is STILL EARLY, it will ruin his day) the end.

Chanel is nocturnal. she has a 6 am aerobic work out where she just runs and runs around the house. when the humans start to stir, she jumps on the bed and sits on their faces, and meows until she's fed. then she eats and goes under the couch until 3 pm. the end.

Cleo gets out of bed when she feels like it, goes out to pee and poop. she comes inside and chases Chanel until she retreats under the couch. then she follows me (and sometimes jumps after me into the car) until i leave and waits for me to get home. the end.

please respond with YOUR morning routine!


  1. Yours is way more fun... but since you asked :)
    My 1st alarm goes off at 4:45.. I start coffee and get back in bed.
    5am, another alarm goes off to notify me that coffee is done and get up. I pour myself a cup and A)take puggle outside for a short walk or B)sit and facebook until...
    alarm 3 goes off @ 5:30 am telling me 'stop dicking around and go fake a workout'
    my workout consists of... a short run (w/ or w/o puggle)then some abs & light weights.
    at this time its 6am and i should be getting in the shower... but no.. i facebook more or find something else to do...
    (putting off starting the day is my favorite part of the ritual)
    followed by a shower/teeth brush combo.. make up + do your hair scramble... out the door by 6:30 on a good day.. generally closer to 6:40.
    and Voila!!
    (why are my times so effing early!)

  2. 4:45?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!? omg you're insane.

  3. You don't want to know. But I'll tell you anyway. Now that our mornings are cooling off here (it's only 85 at 5:30 am), my neighbor and I get up and walk 2.5 miles, and when I get home at 6:15, Scott is either still sleeping or already on a morning meeting. We pretty much draw straws for who's going to make the coffee ("I'll be your best friend if YOU do it today..."). I hurry to get showered and dressed before Hurricane Natalie gets up around 7. Lately she's been getting up all by herself and running out to tell me, "MOMMY! I'm awake!" then she and I sit on the couch for a few minutes, me with my coffee, she with her chocolate milk. Then Scott takes over--he cajoles her into a dress and a clean diaper (she protests all the way), and then we grab bunny and fly out the door at about 7:35. I drop her off at Ms. Pat's and head to work by 8. The end.

  4. I usually sleep through my first 2 alarms (the loud, obnoxious beeping ones that can only come from the purple flip phone). Wakeup at 6:45ish. Stumble in silence to the coffee pot. (Jeremy and I are very similar creatures.) We just bought a coffee pot with a timer and it seriously changed my life!!! Pour a bowl of cereal. Eat in silence while watching the today show. Chris wakes up at 6:52 and we snuggle in silence, while carefully avoiding breathing dragon breath. 7:15 make fun of the weather girl who says "what's happening outside your door." 7:22, first commercial break and my FINAL warning to get ready. quickly brush teeth, makeup, iron clothes, grab lunch, out the door. These last 10 minutes are quite frantic and I'm usually running out the door to the bus at 7:50. Whew. I effing hate mornings.

  5. hahaha LJ since i lived with you all summer i can vouch for the fact that you literally don't say a word until like 7:17. on the mornings that you left early Chris was exceptionally talkative and alert. it was like the non-talker left so we can chat.

    Ok so my morning routine changes as i'm a student still and not on a completely set schedule but here it goes as it stands now:

    6:44 (i hate waking up at any time that ends in 0, or 5 i prefer 4 or 6) wake up and immediately spring out of bed. put in contacts, brush teeth, put on workout clothes and grab iPod, water and key.
    7:01 arrive at gym for a 45 minute workout on the elliptical or treadmill.
    7:52 walk back to my house and hop in the shower
    8:08 out of shower. breakfast time. to digress a little I effing HATE breakfast food so usually i eat "dinner" food a lot of times its like a hotpocket or burrito. but i watch CMT and facebook while i eat.
    8:21 do make up. which i do at my vanity in my room but have to do my eye liner in the bathroom. i should eliminate the back and forth but whatev.
    8:34 blow dry hair.
    8:37 brush teeth again and try to pick out something to wear
    8:42 straighten or curl hair.
    8:51 get dressed while frantically running in the kitchen to check the "actual time" (all my clocks are fast)
    9:02 put on deodorant and perfume. turn off all the lights. forget to turn off straightener.
    9:08 load lunch in back pack along with all books, mentally prepare myself to get hit on by tempe's indigent population or harassed for legal advice because someone spots the title of one of my books.
    9:10 leave house to walk to bus. upon rounding the corner of my building i wonder if i locked the door and turned off straightener so i go back and check. door is always locked, straightener is usually on.
    9:13 back on my route.
    9:21 arrive at the bus stop with sunglasses on trying to avoid all possible conversations with strangers
    9:42 arrive at school and wonder if i have time to go to starbucks.
    10:00 class/work starts. the end.

  6. I hate breakfast food too! I usually have a burrito or whatever was leftover from dinner the night before. Yesterday was risotto, this morning will be polenta pie. No doughnuts or eggs for me...

  7. Tessa wakes up around 5:20 for a run or YMCA class. She comes home 6:30 arouses me with noise grabbing her laptop to facebook/live chat. I and the kids go out to greatroom between 6:30 and 7. I go immediately to the french press that Tess has graciously made & poor a big one [liberal sugar and nf 1/2 & 1/2 bitte], kiss the kids, turn on "This Morning" since Catie left "Today" [Meredith, ugh!]. Drink enough coffee to get my morning consitutional a'knockin. Get 'er done. Go for a 1 - 1&1/2 hour walk around the resevoir w/ Coop [our new yellow lab]. Go home. Eat some morning food half the days. Check my email. Read NY Times on Line. Check the market happenings. See what LacieLiz is bloggin about. Talk to Tess about what the kids are up to. She teases me that I simiply can't learn their easy schedule. Sit down to earnest work [analysis, phone calls, contract work, yadda]. Nobody has morning nooky, or is that simply not talked about? e

  8. Up about 7, go to kitchen and make tea in the microwave pot, do my morning constitutional in the back bathroom (official pooping room) while reading "THE WEEK", pour tea, go into bedroom and make bed, take either a shower or bath while brushing teeth, dry off, put on sunscreen,deodorant, makeup, blow-dry hair if shower day, straighten hair, put on golf clothes, out the door for golf, back in door to bathroom to take pills and to tell Phil not to throw out the paper as I haven't read it yet!

  9. It's really sad, but with my random school & part time jobs right now, I totally don't have a morning routine. I'm ready to be a grown up again!

    But there are a few givens... I will always be scrambling to leave on time, no matter how early I get up. If I get up early, I will find 25 ways to waste time instead of getting ready (facebook, laundry, making breakfast, etc.) If I ever learned, I would get ready and then waste any extra time, but no! Another important routine is to snooze at least a few times... when we first got married Joe was so annoyed that I didn't get up when the alarm first went off, but now I've taught him the joys of the snooze button :) Everything else seems to change on a daily basis!

  10. Alarm goes off at 7:00. Usually press snooze once—maybe twice if it was an unusually eventful eve the night before (ahem-wine with L). Curse at alarm for being so annoying, leave Nebular in bed until I’m done with my breakfast, pick up pugapoo and deposit him outdoors onto upstairs porch to pee (you may be thinking ‘ew’, but it’s so perfect). Leave pugapoo and turn on coffee for quiet reflection breakfast time of eating some variety of children’s cereal (trix, etc.) while staring at carved polar bear on the top display area of our bookshelf, that Nebular insists remain in its current location, and how it detracts from the beautiful turquoise blue vase beneath it. Coffee’s done pour a mug & add one pink splenda packet, feed pugapoo, and head outdoors shoeless to water garden w/ cup of coffee in one hand while watching pugapoo poop on newly installed lawn. Commend dog on being ‘such a good BOY!’, and head to bathroom, tiptoeing across the infinitely painful crushed rock that we opted to install because concrete was too expensive. On my way through bedroom wake up Nebular who usually sleep talks something like ‘where are we going?’, which I refuse to answer. Wash face, brush teeth while picking out a suitable outfit that will allow me to remain competitive with workaholic minions (interns), and coo to Nebular that this is the last possible moment he can arise if he wants to save the $1 that getting to the parking garage before 8:30 will allow (this always motivates him—no idea why, it’s $1!). He showers while I do my makeup & hair. Put on clothes, he puts pugapoo in kitchen for day, and we’re out the door on the way to another blissful day of employment at GreenCupboards.

  11. here goes...this is assuming I went out the night before...and you can ALWAYS assume that.

    I get up in a sheer panic about 7am and look around wildly for my phone. I roll out of bed while checking my missed called and 'texting under the influence' messages and hope I don't want to kill myself just yet.

    Then I immediately check the mirror to survey the scene of alcohol/taco bell/random make out bloats and blotches and wonder if i should just call it a day before it even starts.

    Then I sheepishly leave my 'apartment' as I know what awaits me in the front house...my sisterwife will wonder what time I got in the night before and I will find it somewhere in my brain to tell her the god's honest truth for fear she'll find out the real truth later and peg me for a stripper or drug smuggler. Marco will then ask why i ALWAYS go out and i'll feel like the guilty absent dead beat auntie who can't hold it together.

    I'll then drink a coffee the size of my head and beg and plead that someone, ANYONE, will lay me down and either a. remind me of what i did last night or b. put a steady stream of ibuprofen in my arm to dull the gnawing pain.

    Then i'll get dressed. It's usually what i wore the night before but with small earings and shorter heels. let's be honest, i hadn't planned for this morning yet.

    then i'll get in my car and pop a tape in the tape deck circa 1987 and laugh to myself about how I'm THINK i'm on the next video of Girls Gone Wile and KNOW I have lung cancer or emphaczema.

    Then I pull into the parking lot and check to make sure the Erase Paste is hiding the circles. If only they had Erase Paste for my recent indiscretions...sigh...I only have to get through 5 hours...that's what I keep tellign myself.

    Then I log onto my computer to read countless emails from friends and family who are smart and are well rested and totally hydrated only to remind me just how great it is to have 9 hours of sleep and drink water instead of wine.

    then I go to bed and do it all over again the next day. End. Of. Story.

  12. Claire, I'm peeing my pants. I guffawed at the sisterwife thing--I can totally picture it! The only thing missing is the little ones asking you why your shirt is on backwards!

  13. shut up claude!! i like how marco calls you out.


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