we went to a family dinner the night i arrived at el cap, or as my dad calls it, el crap. (he gets the shrimp fajita...brings the "crap" upon himself). afterwards, i walked out to my dad's sportscar and lay on it a la Nascar Girls, you know, to be funny. and 2 nasty men drive by and whistle. why do i always get caught?
i brought home our old couch (which also happens to be my parents' old old couch) to put it in storage, because JJ and i wanted to buy a new couch at ikea with wedding $$. so off to ikea we go. me, mom, and sisters M and CA. we get there and have a blast (obviously), and when it's time to pick up the couch, we are informed they are OUT OF STOCK.
i start whining about the raincloud. i whine and i say "damn" (you know, gotta keep it PG rated. just like "Gone with the Wind") and i pout and stomp my foot for extra emphasis. M and CA see this moment as their opportunity to GTFOOT (figure out what that means on your own, dummies) and so it was just me and mom. and i was thankful for my mom, because, you see, if it had been JJ instead, there would have been double the pouting and stomping of the foot, and we would have left in a huffy and sans couch. but not my mom. she marched right up to customer service and told them how far we'd traveled for a couch that, online, said was "plentifully in stock." BS IKEA. take your BS AND GO TO HELL OR MARIPOSA (equal in my book). the customer service rep just had her eyes half open and said, "sorry ma'am." my mother then demanded a manager. the manager came out and my mom said, "i'm hoping we can do one of two things: either sell us a floor model couch, or waive the shipping fees to spokane, since my daughter can't afford to pay that money." (yesicanmomrude). the manager said, "i'll see what i can do," and walked away. my mom looks at me and said, "that would have been more believable if you weren't wearing those expensive shoes." don't blame the shoes, ma.
and WAH-LAH my mom's plan worked. we got a floor model. basically a used couch. for full-price. but brand new cushion covers. it looks quite nice in mine and JJ's living room.
Cleo & New Couch
(note: we also bought a new shelf at ikea. got it home..........open it.........don't have the hardware. it's just a board. and just like that, ikea strikes me again).
after ikea, we went to the mall. i had my eye on a leather jacket online. my mom convinced me to not buy it online because of the shipping fees (what is it with you and the shipping fees mom?!) i get to the store..............no leather jacket in stock. akshdfouweoifadli8ewoarf0-342 so i buy knee-high leather pirate harlot boots instead. (totally cool...what is wedding money for? ...i kid, i kid). then i have to pee really bad because i drank two whole diet cokes. and. BATHROOM CLOSED FOR CLEANING.
after we get home at 11:30, i whistle at Cleo to come to bed with me. she gives me one look and follows my mom and Lola666 to my parents' bedroom. i yell after her, "that's what i get for feeding you and cleaning your shit?!?!"
doesn't anybody love me?