Sunday, September 27, 2009

P.P.s

all you bitches have them. Period Panties. the most enormous saggy-butted VS pair you own. KitKat and LJ...you know which ones are mine; gray, "bikini cut," (i put "" around "bikini cut" because they are seriously cut like a 1995 women's bathing suit. really high on the hips with a huge piece of fabric covering the crotch) hideous and surprisingly roomy. remember that book, "The Mitten," where all the animals squeeze into one tiny glove? i feel as if i could have my own ass, all those animals AND a small country fit in my Period Panties quite comfortably.



well i was wearing said Panties (ok ok, i admit, i have 2 pairs. so i can alternate) yesterday when i was getting ready for work. JJ hates these undies. like realllly hates them. as i was pulling up my slack jeans, JJ said, "wait....you're going to fit all of that underwear into those small jeans?" i laughed facetiously HAR HAR HAR JJ YOU'RE SO FUNNY. then he just kind of slightly raised his eyebrows and watched me. indeed it was difficult fitting those giant Period Panties into a tight pair of slack jeans. it was quite the struggle. i had to first remove all the animals and the small country, then tuck and fold, lift, twist...it would have been easier just to take them off, but since JJ was such a smartass about the Period Panties, i had to succeed at stuffing them into my pants. after a couple of minutes and an incredible amount of force, the Period Panties were in! and not even a crease of a VPL (Visible Panty Line for all my men readers) to be seen. "hah," i said to JJ and turned on my heel to go to work.

i got to work and had to pee. FUDGE! all that work stuffing my Period Panties into my slack jeans wasted!

so i just took them off and put them in my purse.

4 comments:

  1. i, too, was smitten. btw: i wish the only thing i had to do to fit into some jeans is to go commando. fortunately, liz, you will never be faced with this conundrum.

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  2. I'm appalled that you put them in your purse. I would have thrown them away. It is quiiiiiiiite amazing though that you managed to get all those animals out.

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  3. so now do you have p.j.s? period jeans??

    ReplyDelete

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