Saturday, September 5, 2009

Thais.

it is almost the anniversary of my first day of work here at the retirement community (!!!!!), after the one year mark my job can finally be resume-impressing material...right? i was surprised to find that i have yet to write about Thais. Thais. Thais. Thais. i can't even use a code name for her because her real name does her so much justice already. i haven't written about her yet because in order to describe her, i have to be fully attentive to the task at hand, as she is a complex being of remarkable antics. REMARKABLE.

Thais is an old woman. she is extremely tall and has white hair and wears a hearing aid. she is from California and never lets you forget how much she hates it in Spokane. she claims to have been friends with a Hollywood starlet in the late 40's, though she won't name who, and supposedly he called her "Legs."

however, despite what you may be thinking, she is not a resident. she is a fellow receptionist. she is exremely pompous and unbelievably rude. if i say something to her, she looks at me right in the eye and deliberately interrupts me with one of her ridiculous afterthoughts or self-obsessed comments. now i'm not dissing self-obsessors, as i am one of them, but this woman is absolutely absurd and unreasonable.

on my first day of training the girl who worked before me warned me about Thais. she said, "she is nice...but she's so, ...she just....just wait, you'll see." and the first time i saw Thais i was like "oh, what? she's like an old lady, like one of the residents, she can't be that bad."

WRONG WAS I.

Thais is infuriating. absolutely infuriating. she simply doesn't listen. she's like a 2-year-old. and when a resident comes to the desk and asks her a question, she cuts them off in the middle and talks about a random fact of her life. example: Marie in 620 wanted to buy some stamps, and asked Thais, "i would like to order a book of st---" Thais cut in, "did you see the flowers i brought in today? see them here on the desk?" Marie said, "oh yes, those are lovely, may i buy a book of---" Thais interrupts again, "they're from my garden, you know." i saw this happen as i was walking back from my lunch break so i shoo-shooed Thais out of the effing way and helped Marie myself.

last tuesday at 1:30, Thais was supposed to relieve me because my shift was over. 1:40 rolls around, i call Thais at her home number, no answer. it's 1:42 and i'm supposed to be at my other job at 1:45. THAIS DOESN'T EVER SHOW UP so my boss comes out and takes over the desk while i rush out.

whilst speeding to my next engagement, i called my mom to complain. "MOM I CAN'T HANDLE THAIS SHE IS SEROIUSLY SO ANNOYING!!!!!" and i explained the story. my mom said, "oh, L, you never know, she might be home dead." COME ON MOM CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME BE MAD AND COMPLAIN?!

this morning i came into work and the printer is broken. the top is off, wet ink is leaking along the interior and a there is a piece of plastic sticking out of the machine. basically it just looks seriously out of order.

at 9:30 when Thais came to relieve me for a break, i said, "Thais, the printer is broken, hopefully the repairman can come in on Mond--" cut off by Thais, "what's wrong with the printer?" so i heavily sigh and repeat myself and she cuts me off AGAIN AND SAYS, "well are you sure it doesn't just need a new ink cartridge?" OHMYGOD. "no, Thais. it is really broken, it needs to be fixe--" Thais interrupts, "are you sure? because it looks to me like it needs new ink. and i locked my keys in my garden shed this morning." i just walk away slowly before my head falls off and say, "that's too bad. and no, the printer is really really really really broken." (note: changing the ink cartridge in the printer is about the only thing Thais knows about computers.)

i texted my mom on my break, "Thais defnitely not dead."

4 comments:

  1. how do you pronounce Thais? i need the phonetic spelling please!

    ReplyDelete
  2. thay-isss (like a hiss at the end)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, I thought Thai like in Thai-land, like Thais drives me so crazy I need two Buzz's Mai Tais to cope. Her maximus interuptisis makes you want to cut all ties with her. Legs behaviour makes you want to tie a noose around her neck and ankles and connect it to a cinder block from her garden shed, toss her into the Spokane and throw flowers from her garden after her. I can only think of buying one of those air horns in a can at the local marina supply and blowing it every time she interupts and say, "Hey, did you see this neat little thing I got?"

    ReplyDelete
  4. hahahahahah the blow horn. omg that's totally brill...!!!

    also, she got a speeding ticket today. karrrrmaaaaa

    ReplyDelete

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...