Thursday, September 17, 2009

the thing about marrying someone you met in college

JJ and i had several mutual friends in college, and our friends got along just fine and everything was peachy keeeen.

but you know your "party friends" in college? the ones where you don't actually hang out with? like you're facebook friends...and you may share a giggle with him over your 8th glass of beer and have your arms slung around each other's shoulders, both happy to be sharing the collegiate bliss that is your life. but good God may ye not show recognition whilst sober on campus.

the party friend.

i had a few in college. great peeps. great.

the problem is: JJ is actually (STILL) true friends with one of my party friends. we'll call him Huggy. they hang out and golf quite frequently. and post-JJ, Huggy and i have become more than party friends, but there is still a "coolness" i see in him because of the party friend factor. like, whenever he saw me i was always dressed to kill in a party outfit, alcohol-induced confidence streaming from me like i was the Queen of MFing England. and whenever i saw him at parties, he was my male counterpart. tres debonair, and oozing that coolness and confidence.

i don't know about you, but as soon as i step through the door of my home after a long day of work, i rush straight to my room and pull on sweats. it's a trait i inherited from my mother. we just can't help it. if we're home, we have to be comfortable. unfortunately, my comfortable=hideous.

well, on tuesday night, Huggy decided to pop in. and there i was, laying in bed eating popcorn and watching Greek, wearing...none other than, MY 12 AND UNDER SOFTBALL TOURNAMENT SHIRT. LIKE I HAVE LITERALLY HAD THAT SHIRT SINCE I WAS 11. THAT'S OVER A DECADE PEOPLE. MORE THAN HALF MY LIFE I HAVE HAD THAT SHIRT. this is not my first offense in that shirt....and I'M SORRY BUT IT WON'T BE THE LAST. the shirt was paired with my fave summer PJ pants that are too-short and have pictures of green deer on them.



and so Huggy comes in and i widen my eyes at JJ with a terrified look on my face that reads "DON'T YOU DARE LET HIM SEE ME LIKE THIS" so the ass smiles a swanky smile and says, "hey Huggy, L's in there, say hi." and so i say, "oh please, i'm not looking my best....12 and under shirt and.....popcorn. i. uh. hi." he says hi and i sink into my bed with embarrassment, hanging my head in defeat. and i saw the look in his eye. the look that says, "you were way cooler as my party friend than you are as JJ's wife."

i mean i am a complete and utter failure...my party friend has seen my at my worst.

4 comments:

  1. Man o Man... i feel you and that sux. Im glad i was mostly slobby in college and now look like a normal human being... So thankfully I have the opposite experience :)
    But dont worry.. I def still have shirts from when I was 11 too. Some things you just cant bear to part with

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  2. ok i think the concept of a party friend is foreign to men. i referred to one of my party friends as my "friend" to the trooper the other day because i was fb stalking them and their fab vacations. the convo went something like this...

    M:"Wait what do you mean 'friends'?"
    S: "You know... the people you drank in college with but didn't actually hang out with sober."
    M: "So you had friends that you just drank with and nothing else?"
    S: "Yea pretty much... why? Is that weird?"
    M: "Yea..."

    I guess if you're in a frat your party friends are your "brothers" so its different. But ditto to Sarah, in college I was fat and rolled to parties in sweats and then blacked out so I'd say my party friends would be impressed with me now.

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  3. hahahahaha. this is almost as bad as the dc bound shirt. I inherited this habit from my mom too. she gets home at like 4:30 and jumps right into her flower nighty.

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  4. Ok, so I went to the Hulu website and clicked on GREEK. Is this show going to be compellingly interesting to a 71 year old woman? Let me know. Remember that my 'puter is teen-insy, so I only see the crotches and boobs -- maybe the key parts in this show. By the way, a fashionista should never fall off her pedestal, she should keep groomed and in fashion at all times. Ask yourself, WWPD? (what would Paris do?)

    ReplyDelete

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