Sunday, October 4, 2009


it is October 4. 10-4.

and this is what happend to me on October 4th, at 7:07 am:

i was pulling out of my driveway on my way to work in a cute outfit (yesterday's ignominy never to happen again) and. the. gate...(my worst corporeal enemy in the land besides the girl with the spider tattoo on her neck who works at Jack in the Box who judged me everyday i went there for three straight weeks my senior year in college to get a large curly fries and buttermilk ranch sauce. she would recognize my voice on the order speakerphone, and interrupt me and say, "i know i know. large curly fries and buttermilk ranch sauce.") anyway, the gate. THE GATE. it was stuck 1/4 of the way open. i went around and typed in the code, and nothing. nothing. so i stood there staring at the gate. then i kicked it. and said "F$%& you" to it. then i called my Mom. then i called JJ. i mean, WHAT THE HELL WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?!? then i ran to my landlord's house (cursing my cute outfit for being unpractical) and knocked on her door. nothing. then i ran home and googled "Spring Creek Community" and got the number. called, and my landlord doesn't answer. so i call the emergency maintenance service and tell the woman my problem and she connected me with my landlord's cell phone. she answered and i could practically smell her morning breath through the phone. she was so groggy. she was like "ok.......i'm still in bed.....but i'm going to get up.....yawn....and put some....sweats....and a baseball cap on.....but it's going to take me a little bit." REALLY?!?!?!?

and then i realize how late i really am going to be. but it's a Sunday. and there's no one to call at work to say that i will be late. i am the one who turns on the phones. so i did the only thing i could think of: i called the maintenance radio at work. i knew someone would answer...

so a guy answered. i said, "it's L from home, the gate to my community is stuck, so i'm going to be late." pause....."10-4," he said. thanks for the sympathy there. but 10-4....the irony is stupidly astonishing.

so i am waiting for my landlord to show up clad in her sweats and baseball cap...and finally she comes. she drives the 40 feet from her house to the gate. she gets out and walks up to the gate and says, "i don't know anything about gates." OHMYGOD. "i guess i'll have to call the gate guy." YOU THINK?!?!

then she said, "i guess we could move these potted plants and you could drive up over the rocks between the gate and the tree...

so i did physical laborous work this morning. i picked up all of the enormously heavy potted plants and moved them. and she stood there watching me. and after about 10 minutes of squeezing JJ's enormous truck inch by inch, through the 4 centimeter space between the gate and the tree, i was free, free at last. well not really, since i was going to work.


  1. my mom literally writes 10-4 instead of "ok" when texting on her iPhone.

  2. noooooooo SHE DOESN'T!!!!! haaaaa

  3. im going to start using it.
    too funny.


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