Saturday, October 10, 2009

Blake's Curse

when i was 16 i worked at a daycare. and there was a 7-year-old i'll never forget. he had an uncanny ability to make me feel stupid. his name was Blake (who's stupid now? what a hideous name) he once told me my hoop earrings made me look Mexican (????). and the time he really got me was when the little crusty shit said, "Teacher, why do you have red spots all over covering your face?" it hurt. yes, i was a pocked-face teen. as were many other SHS attendees, but mine were especially horrid. and my bffs KitKat and KKiss (sorry i outed you). Sam and LJ had (and still do have) the pores of angels. i narrowed my eyes at the kid and said, "they are zits Blake, i cannot help the fact that i have them. stop talking about them." he said, "but they're so red." oh Blake, you are so dear.

as a 23-year-old adult, you'd think i'd be careful to never pull a Blake. however, i still am doing and saying foolish things without thought on a daily basis. FOR INSTANCE, today the maintenance man (not 10-4) came down to my desk, and i noticed a rather scabby looking wound on his upper left cheek bone........and so i said, "what happened to you there?" instantly, as soon as it came out of my mouth....i caught my own mistake. BUT IT REALLY DIDN'T LOOK LIKE THE TRADITIONAL ZIT. LIKE IT SERIOUSLY LOOKED LIGHT IT MIGHT REQUIRE ATTENTION FROM SOME NEOSPORIN AND A BAND-AID. i continued like an idiot, "...or is that just a zit? i have one right here, see?" and i pointed at my own little miniscule red bump. his face just sort of got embarrassed. there was an awkward pause, and then i spoke yet again, "oh, yeah, a zit....well it just looked like maybe someone punched you there or something." ohmygod. i lose. just lose. i'm such an ASSBAG!

after all these years, you'd think i'd have learned my lesson. Blake broke my spirit at age 16. and i have sympathized with those bearing the pesky puss-filled nuisances on their beautiful faces ever since. but today, i had a little bit of Blake in me. today i let myself down. damn you, Blake. damn you.


  1. And where is Blake today. I know I put my foot in my mouth more than you. i've brought it to a whole new level of "assinine"


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