on tuesday the receptionist who has the shift after mine was hacking up a lung. like serious phlegm issues. i barely got out of there before gagging up my lunch. so when i got into work yesterday morning, the green lung of B.Winkle was haunting my thoughts. i naturally squirted a hefty amount of hand sanitizing liquid (that i purchased for the desk. this is not B. Winkle's first offense) onto a kleenex and wiped the phone down for fear of B. Winkle's germs.
sharing a desk with 4 other people, 3 of whom disgust me upon immediate eye contact, is the most horrific thing ever. like if Room Raiders on MTV came and put a black light over this desk, i'm sure they would find far worse "unidentified stains" than those found in the beds of the adolescent teen boys that are featured on the show. what, with B. Winkle's green lung, Thais' penchant for snacking on bacon while typing, and Andrayyyya's (spelled "Andrea" but she corrects everyone, saying "it's andrayyyyyaaa" like she's European or something) allergies, she sneezes every 3 seconds, what's a nice (and mostly) clean girl supposed to do? basically it's like a festering pool of nasty germs at this desk. and the only other normal person who works here, another receptionist Jenelle, and i have to fend for ourselves in this infected pool of bacterium which is practically frothing. she and i have made a pact to fumigate and sanitize whenever possible.
so yesterday i was keeping up with my end of the deal, wiping the phone free and clean of the inexcusable microbes that come out of B. Winkle's nose and mouth. after i finished, i set about doing my normal work activities. the next time the phone rang, i answered it....and the person on the other line couldn't hear me. "damn phone," i said, without a thought towards my actions earlier with the hand sanitizer.
i ended up having to eat my lunch at my desk because of the issue, and the maintenance man whom i offended with the zit comment understandably did not make my phone his priority.
but it wasn't until later that night in bed, when it hit me: i suddenly sat up and exclaimed with an evil but hearty laugh, "IT WAS ME WATSON! TWAS ME WHO BROKE THE PHONE WITH MY EXXXTREME CLEANING!" mystery solved! JJ gave me the one-eyebrowed look.