Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Disappearing Act

JJ had to leave my parents' house Thanksgiving night, after Catchphrase, Apples to Apples, Balderdash and Spoons because he had to work early Friday morning. he left at 9:15 pm. i went to bed at 11, and he didn't call me when he got home, so basically i didn't know if he got home. all i got was a 10:30 pm text that read, "that pecan pie was killer." typical JJ comment.

i woke up at 6:30 am on Friday and made my parents get up and hang out with me. i called JJ at 8. no answer. 8:15. no answer. 9. no answer. so i called his work phone. it was turned off. 9:15. no answer from both phones! i couldn't believe it. he gets to work a half an hour early at 8:30 am EVERY SINGLE DAY. where could he be? i thought he may have gotten in an accident. i kept calling. again and again. my sisters and i decided to go to TJ Maxx for Black Friday at about 11, and i still hadn't heard from JJ. so i called the main phone line at his work and asked if he was there. he wasn't. i told his coworkers that i hadn't heard from him since he left to go home the night before. then i met KKiss and her mom at TJ to get my 4-month-late bday present from KKiss and Sam. (thanks, guys! better late than never!) then i called Rah and Nebular who are both in Seattle, and told them i hadn't heard from JJ, and they gave me the number of Nebular's brother who lives at their house. i called him 8 times in a row until he woke up and frantically begged him to go to our house to see if my husband was alive. he obliged and told me he'd call me back. then, as i apologized to KKiss and her mom for making 37 phone calls while they were standing there, who decides to give me a ring, but The King JJ Himself. he sleepily said, "i had 24 missed calls, what's up?"

"WHAT'S UP!!?!!?! ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?! IT'S 11:30 YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE AT WORK AT 9. I THOUGHT YOU WERE BADLY MANGLED TO THE POINT WHERE YOU WERE UNIDENTIFIABLE A LA GREY'S ANATOMY IN A HOSPITAL SOMEWHERE! I JUST SENT NEBULAR'S BROTHER TO OUR HOUSE TO SEE IF YOU WERE THERE!!! WHAT IS YOUR EXCUSE??!?!!?"

he said lazily, "oh come on L, calm down. i traded work shifts with my coworker. i don't have to be there until 1."

"CALM DOWN?!!??! NO I WILL NOT. YOU WERE MIA. I THOUGHT TERRIBLE THINGS."

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH EVERYONE?!?!?! I DECIDE TO SLEEP IN FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2 YEARS AND EVERYONE THINKS I'M DEAD!?!?!?!?"

apparently all of his coworkers tried to get a hold of him after i called and freaked them out. plus Rah and Nebular and his brother were panicked, plus KKiss and her mom, plus TJ Maxx parking lot, plus my sisters....i mean, it was a god damn circus!

and The King was sleeping on the couch. turns out my parents made him an entire thermos of coffee for the drive home. he drank it all and was up until 4:30 in the morning watching the National Geographic channel. so he begged his coworker to trade shifts with him so he could sleep late. and his phone was on vibrate, so he couldn't hear any of us calling him. and when he finally got to work, all of his coworkers rushed over to him and said, "CALL YOUR WIFE!"

he said i was a tad bit dramatic. but i think i was being a good wife, while he was being a wreckless bear in a cave, pulling a disappearing act better than the Ringling Brothers, sleeping in until 11:30 like that.

2 comments:

  1. YOU JERKS WENT SHOPPING WITHOUT ME??!?!??! WHY WASN'T I INFORMED OF THIS?????

    ReplyDelete
  2. at least you sent a friend and not the police! matt did the same thing when i didn't answer my phone except i had 20 missed calls and a voicemail or 2 from tempe pd.

    ReplyDelete

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