ok i totally forgot to write about my work Christmas party. i have to backtrack to December 18. because it was so hilarious.
the administration office has a potluck and white elephant gift exchange every Christmas. obviously i didn't make anything. i went to Rosaurs and bought sugar cookies which were a total hit.
and i wasn't about to buy a nice gift. last year i bought VS body spray and this really cute notepad. and the woman who got it didn't even like it. so i didn't want to waste money on the dumb exchange. so at TJ Maxx, in the clearance aisle, shining in a little beacon of light, was a $4 ceramic duck statue. big. like the size of a real duck. i bought it instantly and laughed a Grinchy, maniacal laugh as i wrapped it up.
then came the day of the Christmas Potluck & Gift Exchange at RW. i brought my snowman sugar cookies and the duck. all wrapped up perfectly. little background information: Jaak, the COO, is as skinny as me but 6'9" and he's scandinavian, and his front two teeth overlap and he has a lisp and walks a bit pigeon-toed. he's not married, has a blue Mazda and a dog named Max. last year in the gift exchange he got all crazy for the Mama Mia DVD someone brought in. like, he screamed "I LOVE ABBA" and got all giddy when he got it. well this year, Jaak (pronounced Yok) had to leave early to take someone to the airport. so Pastor Gail, RW's own minister, drew a number and picked a gift for him. and she picked mine. so basically what was supposed to be a hilarious joke for some funny person, ended up being the COO's gift. and now i feel bad. because he got a duck. should i buy him a replacement gift with an apology note attached? maybe he'd like the Sex and the City movie...what do you think?
i, on the other hand, completely scored duing the gift exchange. i bought JJ this really cool sound machine (i.e. plays the sounds of the rainforest, the ocean, a heartbeat ((CREEPY)), or a rushing river) because since we live next to the freeway, JJ has a little trouble sleeping. and i hate falling asleep to the TV on. AND HOW ANNOYINGLY BRIGHT IS THE BLUE DIRECTV POWER LIGHT?!?! I MEAN SERIOUSLY. in the gift exchange, i got THE EXACT SAME sound machine i bought for JJ. so now i get to take back the one i bought him and buy myself something. cool, eh?
after the party i was just walking out the door and PN shouts at me "COME HERE!" i turn around. she is waving frantically at me. like i have my jacket on, purse on my arm, hand on the doorknob and she's yelling at me. i walk over to her. "come upstairs with me." then she literally puts her crockpot filled with nasty meat chili in my arms and puts her white elephant gift in my arms to carry upstairs for her. like, there are 20 other people in the room and she yells at me to help her. IT'S MY DAY OFF and she yells at me to help her. so while i struggle under the weight of her disgusting homemade meat chili, she lightly picks up the napkins and plastic cups. she says, "my arthritis is acting up today. and i have a bad leg. and a bad back." so i silently follow her upstairs. i set the crock pot down on her desk and turn towards her and wait for my tip. or even a 'thank you.' because seriously. i deserve something. but nothing of the sort comes. i stare at her one more time, trying to coax some shred of civility out of her. nothing. so i kind of slammed her door on my way out.