7:15 shove doughnut in face while driving to work
7:30 arrive to work sporting new Gucci (NO BIG DEAL!!!!!) in exceptionally good mood.
7:33 bring the Wall Street Journal to the CEO's office. stop dead in my tracks and can feel heart actually turning cold and grey as i hear in an all-telling smoker's voice, "SWEETIE COME HERE."
christ. she's caught me. and it's not even 8 yet.
PN: "what is the name of that DVD of the gonzaga basketball? i want to buy it for my husband, and i'm at the online store."
L: (like, i have no fudging clue. i hate sports) "i don't know."
PN: "oh come on, it's like 'ten years of...excellence' or something."
L: "ummm...yeah. have you tried looking at the GU athletic website?"
PN: while shaking her hands at me, "YOU'RE NOT LISTENING TO ME! I JUST TOLD YOU--I'M ALERADY AT THE ONLINE STORE kccckkkhhhh" (that last part is a sort of hacking sound she makes when she's annoyed).
7:45 she walks by my desk to the bathroom and comes out 9 minutes later (who spends 9 minutes in the bathroom??) and says "you need to have someone fix the broken light in the bathroom."
i'm going to put gum in her mullet and download porn on her computer.