Sunday, January 10, 2010

Chanel's most favorite thing

Chanel gets grumpier everyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy day (the "y" on my work computer is sticky because i accidentally spilled cranberry juice in the keyboard last week ha ha) it seems, and the last time i went to the vet which was on Wednesday, i looked at this chart that said "How Old is Your Pet?" and i figured out that Chanel is actually 46. huh. explains a lot i guess.

she naps a lot. she's putting on weight. she yearns for retirement. all normal 46-year-old stuff. but the one thing that is so so bizarre and weird and doesn't fit the 46-year-old temperment is her obsession with the printer. like everytime she hears it being used she goes all ape shit and runs really fast up to it and stares at it and swishes her tail. when we printed out stuff for the wedding, for instance, it took about 3 hours. Chanel sat erect and wide-eyed the ENTIRE time. she just thinks the printer is the bees knees.

one time in the summer of 07, (the same summer in which she got heat stroke and was shaved like a lion), i went to class, and like always, left Chanel in there with the door closed. when i got back she was sitting on top of the printer and like smiling. i was kind of creeped out. like WHAT CHANEL?! WHAT ARE YOU CREEPILY SMILING FOR?! and i look below her. and what is happening? the printer is printing something. i'm like WTF?!?! this isn't YouTube or Funniest Home Viedos, Chanel! cut it out! upon closer inspection, i see that she is printing out a picture of a sea dragon. A SEA DRAGON. like, i don't even know what to say or do. my cat was left alone in my room for an hour and i come back and she's printing out a picture of a sea dragon.

the sea dragon was an isolated incident, but i still wonder whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy? (sticky yyyyyyyyyyyyyyy sorryyyy. shoot) why a sea dragon? was she planning my demise? like was she hiring a sea dragon to eat me? i don't know, animals are weird like that.

last night Moon was printing out her baording pass for her flight and YOU GUESSED IT, Chanel pops out from under the bed and rushes over towards her boyfriend the printer. like she never moves quickly. she oafs around usually. but when olll HP Deskjet shows his face, she comes a runnin'. and last night was no different. she sat and stared at the paper gracefully coming out of the machine, and i swear, it was like a scene from a love movie...when the printer was done doing its work, and out came the boarding pass, Chanel placed one single paw on the machine, as if to say, "au revoir my love, until we meet again." i let them have their moment, and then i unplugged Chanel's one motivation for life on this dull planet, and folded him up and put him away. and Chanel skulked lazily out of the room, and the light vanished from her eyes.

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