Sunday, January 10, 2010

court. round 2

i went to court again on friday. for my 457th speeding ticket that i got this summer. i signed up for traffic school then got a letter in the mail telling me that i was not allowed to go to traffic school because of my poor driving record (are my problems beyond being fixed by a middle-aged fat man who plays 1993 VHS vids of traffic rules?!?! oh, the horror!) and that i have to show up to court.

last weekend during my lunch break i was chatting with my fellow employees when i heard, "i have to go to court on Friday for a suspended license." my eyes got all wide and i quickly fumbled through my planner. SAY IT AIN'T SO. PLEASE. oh shiste. i am going to be in court with one of my employees. kill me. now. please just kill me. she is so trashy and she'll probably wear a t-shirt that says "thug chica" or something on it and try talking to me in court. and then the judge will think i run with a bad crowd and sentence me to hard jail time and i will end up with a barbed wire tatto and turn into a chola...

last time i went to court was for my.....collegiate MIP. you know the one. and Moon was with me because she got one with me. (we do everything together) so i obviously made her go this time. and i walked up to the little window looking quite chic and said, "excuse me, sir, which courtroom do i need to be in?" and he said, "are ya here for your DUI case?" i said, "oh, God no." then i felt like i must not look as good as i felt because he assumed i had a DUI.

he told me where to go and Moon and i scrunched together like little peas on the wooden bench. we were surrounded by miscreants. it was actually quite sad. most of them had DUIs. and one guy was sentenced to jail for 90 days. when it was my turn, i stood up and walked up to the table. the judge asked me questions. and i know i was using my Minnie Mouse voice and that my hands were awkward and shaky and uncomfortable and i couldn't figure out what to do with them. he said i could defer the ticket if i paid $75 and manage to not get any other moving traffic violations within the next year. that's quite a risk. but my plan is to use cruise control even in 30 mph zones. the judge also said "good luck" to me and no one else. that's nice. so after my sentence me and Moon GTFOOT.

and when we got in the car i realized: my coworker wasn't in the same courtroom as me! phew...that was a close one. no hard jail time for me...at least not yet.

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