Tuesday, January 26, 2010

good wife, bad gas.

ok so JJ made salmon and black bean tacos again last night (TO DIE FOR--MY FAVE) and they gave me some funkyass smelling farts today. like WHOA. like i let a tiny bit out and it instantly fills my nostrils with green poison gas. then like 30 seconds later i will move in my chair and a little bit more will be released from my pants and it's like BAM! HOLY SHIT something crawled up my asshole and DIED.

on my lunch break i left the building because i just had to get the eff out of here for a bit. so i went to hastings. and i got 2 books. and i had mama mia on blu-ray (SIGH) in my hands. i was going to make JJ watch it. but then i saw major league out of the corner of my eye. and i made the ultimate sacrifice and put back mama mia. i bought major league for my husband because i love him. wife of the year, i know!

anyway, i got back to work and seconds later the farts came back. OY. and right as i was typing an email to JJ to tell him not to let me eat salmon and black bean tacos ever again because my farts are as toxic as weapons of mass destruction, a maintenance man walks by my desk and said, "how was your selection of cheese today?" and laughed. WTF? does that mean he smelled my fart?

THEN, about 10 minutes later, another maintenance man walked by my desk and said, "it smells like incense" WTF?! that was TOTALLY in reference to my fart.

I'M SO EMBARRASSING.

so, basically i'm a really good wife with really bad gas.

1 comment:

  1. sometimes that happens to me at work when i think i'm alone at my desk after school. but no, some kid will come walking in right after i let one. i usually try to run to the door to waft it behind me so they don't smell it. why can't people just laugh and enjoy farts? why can't they be funny to everyone and not embarrassing? sucks.

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