Monday, February 15, 2010

PAIGE! @$&%

there is the brand of denim that i love. paige. i love the jeans because the designer is one of the only women who designs women's jeans. most women's jeans are designed by men. paige makes her jeans long and lean. and they look fabulous on your ass. invest in a pair. they're magnificent.


i went to nordstrom rack last week and found a pair of paige jeans, light colored and distressed, for only $20!! (usually they're $180-$230 so i got a great deal!) i immediately decided to buy them. they were my size and everything! so exciting!

i brought them home and pulled them out of the bag. JJ was sitting on the couch watching me. i said, "LOOKIE!!! PAIGE JEANS ONLY $20!!!" and he was like great. so i pulled down my pants to try the new ones on. O.M.G. shit. SHIT. couldn't get them over my ass. COULD NOT GET THE JEANS OVER MY ASS. literally. i looked at JJ with furrowed worried eyebrows and he was like well maybe you aren't that size anymore. pause. stare. glare. IS HE FUDGING SERIOUS?!?! like, OHMYGOD. HE DID NOT JUST SAY THAT. HE'S BASICALLY ASKING ME TO CRUNCH HIS BALLS WITH MY FIST.

SHUT THE HELL UP YES I AM THE SAME SIZE!! DON'T SAY RUDE THINGS!!!!!! I AM NOT FATTER!!! and to prove my point i stomped into my closet and got my other pairs of paige jeans that DO fit, and showed him the size tag.


so the next day i went back to the nordstrom rack and got those god forsaken jeans out of my life. i exchanged them for a t-shirt and a new headband.

i am still the same size. ghod. those paige jeans didn't fit because they weren't made of stretchy denim. and they are so small. that's why they didn't sell in the regular nordstrom. they are too small for a 5-year-old. well, that is what i am telling myself.


  1. i CANNOT wear paige jeans... unless i wanna buy a pair that's 3 sizes bigger than i normally wear. i understand its just a number, but i would like that number to be as small as possible.

  2. Do they make them in size 18? I wear a 6 or an 8, but from what LB said, I would need an 18 and I'll bet they still wouldn't fit over my "curvacious" thighs and calfs. But I did go to the store where MM bought her jeans in Hawaii and I COULD NOT believe how much they cost. Even a sh*##+ little ballcap was $50 on sale. But at my age I should be shopping for Koret!

  3. I love my paige jeans but they are the only ones that have ever fit me....they are made for SKINNY SKINNY girls with no ass and toothpick legs...

  4. One morning, while feeling particularly uber fabulous & thus strutting into work... my jean cuff was caught on my heel & I tripped & in true Superman formation, flew across the office onto my face. This event was very loud & witnessed but approx 30 co-workers.
    They were PAIGE JEANS!!!


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