Tuesday, February 2, 2010

the pink chandelier lamp

my Uncle E commented on the blog below about my new mirrored chest...and he wanted the story on the pink lamp. and QUITE a story it is...

as i have stated many times before, i lived alone junior year. well, if you don't count Chanel. ah, those were the glorious days when money magically appeared in my account on the first of the month (thanks, mom & dad). the days long before credit cards and 40-hour work weeks.

but even back then, my heart belonged to TJ Maxx. i spotted the pink chandelier lamp there for $70. (a little steep, but OMG so worth it). i was with two of my friends and i just Had To Have That Lamp. but it was the end of the month, and i didn't have $70 in my bank account, are you kidding me? i had important things to buy like beer and cat litter. so this is what i had to do when i didn't have enough money in my account to buy a $70 lamp: i had to call my parents, beg beg beg them that OMG I HAVE HAVE HAVE TO HAVE THIS LAMP IT'S, LIKE, THE MOST PERFECT LAMP EVER AND IT BELONGSSSSSS IN MY APARTMENT PRETTY PLEASEEEEEEEEE I NEVER ASK FOR ANYTHING EVERRRRRR!!! and then if my parents were in a good mood (like they were that day), and felt like spoiling me, they would promise to put sufficient funds in my account. that day, at TJ Maxx, after i got off the phone with my parents, i marched happily up to the counter with my lamp (very much in the same manner as i did with the mirrored chest. only someone else wheeled the chest up to the counter for me), and i totally saw the jealous stares of shoppers as i passed by with my treasure. i then proceeded to write a bad check to TJ Maxx. (because, come on, my parents didn't get the $70 in my account THAT quickly) and i walked out with such a feeling of satisfaction, it was AMAZING!

and that lamp traveled with me to all the places i moved. and every place i have lived, i have gotten compliments on it. my sister M was so jealous of my lamp that she bought herself the same one, only it's not pink, it's translucent clear. everyone loves my lamp. EXCEPT JJ.

he hates that thing with a passion. when we moved in together, he was like GET THAT THING OUTTA MY HOUSE. and i was all NO I LOVE IT. IT'S MINE. IF YOU CAN HAVE YOUR DODGERTOWN USA STREET SIGN UP I CAN HAVE MY LAMP. and he was like NO. I DON'T WANT THAT THING UP IN THE HOUSE, L IT'S SO PINK AND GIRLY AND STUPID....and the arguing continued. hence the solution of the conflicted gender spare room. where the pink lamp and the dodgertown USA sign resided together in harmony. UNTIL YESTERDAY. i was going to buy a new lamp to put on the mirrored chest, but alas! i remembered, i already had THE PERFECT LAMP OMG! and how great does it look there? i mean, just effing fabulous. and JJ got home from playing recreational hockey, just as i was polishing the lamp. he merely cleared his throat before walking all heavily and stormy into the bathroom to take a shower. he didn't say a word because he knows i would say UM EXCUSE ME, JJ BUT I HAVE BEEN SWEATING AND CLEANING AND REARRANGING (AND MAKING HOMEMADE TORTILLA CHIPS [!!!!]) ALL EVENING WHILST YOU WERE OFF PRANCING ABOUT ON A SLAB OF ICE, DON'T TEST ME.

the lamp stays.

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