Tuesday, March 16, 2010

i swallowed a whole taco.



well, JJ made me my ultimate favorite last night for dinner since i will be gone for 5 whole days. i am going to miss my hubblestiltskins! it's weird to be away from him so long.

anyway, he made me SALMON & BLACK BEAN TACOS WITH SOUR CREAM AND SALSA VERDE. thank GOD i have a husband who cooks. srsly. would die (i.e. flashback to junior year: the lonely year: eat only spaghettios and toast) without him. AND GUESS WHAT? he drove me to work today because right after work, he is going to pick me up and take me to the airport to head to AZ, and guess what he is going to have waiting in the front seat for me??? SF SOURDOUGH. i love love love that man.

anyway, we had one last taco left last night, so we both eyed it and finally he said, "just eat it for a snack tomorrow at work." i was like HELL YES I WILL DO EXACTLY THAT. so i popped it in my purse this morning. well, i'm extra giddy today, and trying to get Cleo organized...you see, friends, i...am...SIGNING HER UP FOR ANOTHER DOG CLASS! small dog beginning obedience. LAUGH OUT LOUD. Rah and i are signing all the pups up to whip them into shape (we all know Cleo has potty training issues. and yesterday, Rah proudly announced that her puppy Frankie no longer pees on the carpet. well in the hour and a half i was at their house, ol Frank managed to piss on the carpet a total of 3 times. dog classes=necessary)

well anyway, 9:45 rolls around. 9:45 a.m. and my tummy starts to rumble. (i didn't have coffe this morning to fill me up--don't want to get the poops on the plane, you know?) and i am feeling a little antsy and crazy this morning because i just want to GTFOOH AND GO TO ARIZONA ALREADY. so what did i do? WHAT DID I DO YOU ASK!?!??! i snatched The Last Taco and i hunkered under my desk and i shoved that shit in my mouth all at one time. i stuffed it all in. i realized just as i did so, that it was probably not the best idea ever in life. BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS?! the phone rings, a resident comes to my desk to buy stamps, someone comes in to turn in a job application AND the HR manager walks by. SIMULTANEOUSLY. THIS ALL HAPPENS AT ONE TIME. so everyone literally has to watch me chew the taco and swallow. and i seriously only chewed 3 times before i swallowed. like a snake. you know, when it like swallows a whole sheep on animal plant and you're like WHOA! HOW DID YOU DO THAT SNAKE?!?! well i did that with a taco. i swallowed the taco whole. and it scratched my throat on the way down and i didn't even get to enjoy it. everyone around my desk just stared at me. i quickly wiped the lettuce from my face and said, "well, sorry about that. i was a tad bit hungry. now, how can i help you?"

somebody please help my poor soul.

2 comments:

  1. AHAHAHAHAAHAH THE SNAKE REFERENCE!!!!! I'M DYING!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Seriously dying!!!
    'Tad bit hungry." HAHAHAHAHA like.. you are probably lucky im drunk or it would just be a giggle... but cause im drunk im peeing.
    yes. its 8:30 am and im wasted. shut it. Cant wait to see you tomorrow!!!

    ReplyDelete

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