i'm glad i have one honest snaggle-toothed reader. and so many of you who wear your retainers to keep your teeth looking fabulous! KUDOS!
KKiss got invisalign and now her teeth are as straight as an arrow! she is really good at wearing her retainers to keep her teeth in place. LJ is a nightguard wearer, so every night she sticks that bad boy in her mouth for a restful night of sleep. the weekend of retainer-wearing in Arizona got me thinking about my own retainers and their possible whereabouts.
in 7th grade i got braces. with them, i got a retainer. orange glow-in-the-dark. it was awesome. SO AWESOME. i would stare at myself in the mirror with my retainer in and i would turn off all the lights and make scary ghost sounds. well the day came in 7th grade when we all had to dessect frogs. i popped a piece of gum in my mouth and started cutting mine and Jeremy Engleman's frog. BLAST! i has forgotten the retainer was in. and the gum stuck to it. since my hands were all frog-gutty, i just spit the retainer-and-gum wad into a piece of paper towel and set it aside to deal with later. you know what happens next, i accidentally throw away my retainer with the frog guts and THERE AIN'T NO WAY IN HELL I'M DIGGING THROUGH FROG GUTS TO FIND MY RETAINER (however, come to think if it, i should have asked LJ. the little weird child keep a piece of her frog in her pocket for months. yes, like, literally a piece of her frog. some unknown inside part. she washed it off and put it in her pocket. i'm sure she would not have minded digging through the guts to find my orange glow-in-the-dark retainer). anyway, i had to get a new retainer. and it wasn't glow-in-the-dark. it sucked and was boring dark purple.
so i got home and dug through our bathroom cabinet looking for my sparkly teal retainer case holding the retainers i hadn't worn since i was 19. AND I FOUND IT! i couldn't believe it. i brushed them and stuck them in my mouth. no cigar. they didn't even kind of fit! (SORRY MOM AND DAD) so i have been wearing them every night, and i'm on day 6 and slowly but surely they are forming my teeth back into tip-top shape. JJ laughs at me when i wear them because i accidentally spit and drool and get an enormous lisp. but i think he thinks they're secretly sexy. HA HA JUST KIDDING. i tell him he has no room to talk. because he had braces. and he literally has the bottom teeth of a troll. i can say this mean comment because it is his own fault that his bottom row is snaggly. basically we are probably going to have to pay for JJ to get invisalign so that he can maintain a professional apparearance. also, Readers, did you know JJ has 2 fake teeth? IT'S TRUE! isn't that cool? when i tap them with my fingernail they make a different sound than a real tooth.
anyway, the point of this blog is: WEAR YOUR RETAINER! i think Dr. Cachiotti would appreciate me promoting this ideal.