Monday, April 5, 2010

easter horror


ok so i bought an adorable little frilly flowery easter skirt from the target liberty of london line. SO CUTE. WONDERFUL PRICES. and i wore it to work yesterday with my j.crew elephant rainboots. and, like a god damn junior high student, i had my period and didn't know. and a little leaked onto my BRAND NEW SKRIT. COME ON. i was soooo annoyed. because a. i'm not 15. and b. it's already bad enough that i had to WORK ON EASTER. why the period leak????

whatevs. i brushed it off and did the ol stuff-your-underwear-with-that-horrid-public-restroom-toilet-paper move. and walked back to my desk and finished my day.

i got home and took one step in the door and placed my j.crew elephant rainboots in a pile of poop. thank you Cleo! then i walked to my bedroom to get my sweatpants on (obvs). and there is a puddle of pee next to the washing machine. thank you again, Cleo! and i see that the door is closed. i open it, and sure enough Chanel comes out. meaning she was trapped in there for 4 hours. because JJ went golfing. and there is a pile of poop on my bed. thank you Chanel! and when i put the bedding into the wash and go into the spare room to fold the pile of clean laundry on the bed, i notice that the entire pile of clean laundry smells like pee. thanks again, Chanel. then i completely lost my mind and fell to the ground dramatically and cried. then i grabbed Chanel by the scruff and threw her outside. then i called my mom. then i went to snuggle Cleo. and she was coughing and shaking and sick. JJ got home and took a shower and i did 800 loads of laundry and took a nap.

...

we opened our easter baskets. and i got JJ wonderful things and he got me edward scissorhands. I HATE EDWARD SCISSORHANDS. but i pretended to like it to make him feel like he did a good job.

JJ wanted to take me to Anthony's for Easter dinner followed by mass at 7:30. i had told him last week to make reservations and he tossed his hand carelessly and said, "pshh...L, you don't need to make reservations for Easter. no one goes out to dinner on Easter." so he didn't make reservations. and guess what? Anthony's was all booked up. so we went to the Italian Kitchen. which was good.

then we went for ice cream. then we went to church.

then we got home and couldn't find Chanel. then JJ told me that i killed the poor defenseless cat. Chanel's ears must burned because then she came inside. and i realized that i wouldn't have cared all that much if she had spent the night outside.

FREE CAT TO ANYONE WHO WILL TAKE HER

i had a terrible day.

but you know what? on Easter i should be thankful. so thankful i am. i am thankful that Chanel will not live forever.

3 comments:

  1. I feel for you. those fall to ground & cry moments from the pets are all too familiar. I also scream, it works for me. It also tells Dexter he better sit on the other couch for at least an hour.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AGAIN with the pooping and peeing?! seriously this is not normal!

    ReplyDelete

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