Friday, April 16, 2010

high school inevitability

while in Selah, it's fair to say that you will inevitably see at least 1 person you went to high school with. for me, it was 3 people in 24 hours.

first was the boy who was mine and KitKat's driver's ed partner. he was so scared anytime it was my turn to drive. and the rule was: whoever was driving got to pick the radio station. he and KitKat would pick the always cool 107.3 KFFM YAKIMA! and i would pick the always lame K105.7 soft rock. i failed my first driver's test. that's how good i was at driving. anyway, now he works at the red apple grocery store and my mom made me go in by myself because she was wearing slippers. i was like "you wore slippers on purpose so you could make me your slave." so i went in and just as i was picking up a bag of tortilla chips, there he was. "HELLO L!" and i was like DAMMIT. "hey, man. how's it goin?" then we chatted for like 5 minutes and i kept trying to slowly walk away but he kept on talking. lastly he said, "hey, isn't it your job to plan the 10-year high school reunion?" i was like SHUT UP I KNOW DON'T REMIND ME PLEASE. note to self: i have GOT to pass on that unfortunate endowment to someone else.

right after we left the red apple my mom drove me to the movie store and again made me go in by myself. upon leaving i ran into this girl whose name i can't even remember but whose face is etched in my brain, along with all the 180 SHS class of 04 graduates. i just stared at the ground and ran to the car. i said OHMYGOD MOM WE ARE NOT STOPPING AT ANY MORE PLACES I DO NOT WANT TO KEEP RUNNING INTO THESE PEOPLE. we drove home.

right before i left town, we went to El Cap (or El Crap as my dad calls it. i mean, it's his own fault for ordering the shrimp fajitas) we sat down and started eating and my mom was like "L, that's D.B. behind you!" and i was like PLEASE JUST KILL ME. and i said "oh christ mom. i'm not going to say hi to him i look like hell and i have cheese hanging from my lip." the story of D.B. is as follows: we were great friends. until i got a monster crush on him. blah blah blah the story ends with him at my house putting his shockingly white-socked foot on the coffee table and me instantly regretting the decision to get a crush on him. i walked to his car and he asked me if he could kiss me. i said yes. and then i told him we were better as friends. the end. and he was a great friend. great guy. but right then, in El Cap, with my family and the outfit i was wearing and the cheese on my lip....i just wasn't in the mood to chat. then i heard him say "HEY LACIE" and i turned around, simultaneously CURSING MYSELF as i remembered he has a sister with my same name. eye contact. FUDGE. there was no going back. i slowly got up and trudged over and said "oh, hi! i thought you called me." he was like "what?" and looked all puzzled. and i was like "you know, your sister......" and she walked over and i gave her the thumbs up sign and said "hey, great name, eh!?!?" and winked at her. i mean COME ON. that was the stupidest thing ever in life to say. then i hugged D.B. and was like "ok, nice to see you bye." and ran out of El Cap. my family all made fun of my awkward display and i was like SCREW YOU GUYS I'M OUT OF HERE.

i am SO not planning the 10-year high school reunion. NO FUDGING WAY.

final note to SHS readers: D.B. is not to be confused with E.B. ...though both have sisters with my name. (D.B. also has a sister named Samantha)


  1. HHAHAHAHAHA! We are such mean friends. Maybe you should contact Brianna Berg and ask her to take it on. You are moving out of the state after all.

  2. ahahahaha! this is why i'm glad my parents no longer live in selah.

  3. bb would be a great choice for the class historian. i agree, pass it on to her!

  4. Dont feel bad. I am queen of dodging people from HS when I go home.
    Although... occasionally I like to flaunt how fab my life is.... and think... yea... this could've been your life too.... instead you stayed here and are now fat w/ 3 bratty children.
    Im a biotch. Oh well.


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