Sunday, May 2, 2010

B&L&S&D

B&L&S&D= Brooks & L & Rah & Dunn

the last rodeo.

here is how the evening went:

i was just setting my cowboy hat on my head ready for Rah to pick me up when JJ came inside and informed me that there was an ailing cat in our driveway. so i rushed out. and there it was: a screeching and dying BLACK cat in our driveway. it was obviously hit by a car (JJ thinks it was attacked by a wolf--he loves to exaggerate) and it made its way down the hill from the highway to our property. its back legs were all twisted around and it clearly had a broken back. i ran in my cowboy boots to our landlord's house and i was like "OHMYGOD I HAVE A DYING CAT IN MY DRIVEWAY OMG! DO ANY OF THESE TENANTS HAVE A BLACK CAT?!?!" and she was like "oh. i....would come over there...but i...don't have...shoes...on. but yeah. one lady has a black cat. want me...to call her?" YES IDIOT WOMAN CALL HER. "yes please!" and then she said, "oh and i also wanted to ask you, did you get a large white dog? i saw it with you outside" NO YOU STUPID WOMAN!!! THAT WAS LOLA666 SHE WAS IN TOWN VISITING FOR A DAY. "no that's my mom's dog who was in town for like a day. can you call the black cat owner now please?" it wasn't the neighbor's cat. but obviously i started bawling. because there is a suffering animal in my driveway.

i called the Sultan. surprise surprise, the asshole wouldn't take the cat. so we had to drive it to the pet emergency clinic. JJ loaded it into the car and made me wear ski gloves while sitting next to it. and i was sobbing and crying and the cat was crying and it was so tragic. i just wanted it to have a little love before it died. and in the car JJ rolled down all the windows because the cat pooped itself because he can't feel his lower body. then we got to the animal hospital. and they had to euthanize the cat. because he was a stray. it was the most depressing thing ever in life. i had mascara all down my cheeks and i just felt so bad. i never ever want to see a suffering animal EVER AGAIN. i hate that there are people who like to hunt poor innocent animals for fun.

and what kind of luck do you think JJ and i will have from now on!?!??!?! HUH?!?!?! DYING BLACK CAT IN OUR DRIVEWAY CAN'T MEAN GOOD THINGS FOR US

after that ended, i wiped my tears and Rah and i went to the bar. and had whiskey sours. then we went to the concert. we got in line for popcorn and beer. AND A LEGIT BROOKS & DUNN WORKER BACKSTAGE PERSON WAS LIKE "hey girls! wanna meet Brooks & Dunn?" WE WERE LIKE DUH THAT'S ALL WE HAVE EVER WANTED!!!! and he said, "ok, here's my number...call me after the show i'll tell you where to go." so we enjoyed the concert THOROUGHLY and called this random guy after and he directed us to him...and WE WENT ON THE BROOKS & DUNN OFFICIAL TOUR BUS....and....basically it was a bus full of sluts and southern comfort. Rah and i grabbed a beer...realized what was going on (i.e. the guy was trolling the place for girls and inviting them to the bus for Brooks & Dunn to choose from...) then we GTFOOT. i mean, we could have hooked up with Brooks & Dunn that night but we decided that since we are married/engaged, it would probably not be ideal.

then Nebular and JJ told how stupid we were to go on the slut bus and made fun of us and called us "Roadies" all weekend.

but you know what? we got to go on the BROOKS & DUNN TOUR BUS!!!!!!!! HOW COOL IS THAT?!?!?!

4 comments:

  1. ummm.... PRETTY FRICKIN COOL!!!
    WTF!! so jealous.

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  2. i don't even know what to say about this.

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  3. i know what to say. that guy really could have been a rapist. and when you called and met him he could have raped and killed you and left you for dead just like on criminal minds. next time be careful roadie.

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  4. I love that JJ had you wear ski gloves with the mystery cat! Your own mama never worried about you as much as he does...sweet. You could have gotten rabies and raped in the same day, however when you called me and told me about each, I failed to recognize the danger, but rather thought you had had an exciting evening!

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