Thursday, May 27, 2010

JJ & The Fat Fly



JJ is so afraid of bugs. like it's so annoying. YOU'RE THE MAN, KILL THE BUG. but instead, he skips away from any bug like a girl.

so the other night we had a monster fly. you know the ones? they're like really old almost ready to die. like at day 6, which equals age 98 for them. and they're sooooo fat and huge and slow. and they buzz so loudly. well we had one in our room and JJ was like "killllllll it L....it's grossssss" and i was like sorry Shirley Temple, i'm in bed, not getting out.

so he whined and whined and finally got up to kill it himself. only he grabbed a pink dishtowel to do the job. i was like you look like an absolute fudging idiot. he was like SOMEONE HAS TO KILL IT L, I DON'T WANT IT FLYING INTO MY MOUTH AT NIGHT. i mean come on JJ, seriously?? the fly is not going to fly into your mouth tonight. and he said, "L LOOK AT THE SIZE OF THAT THING. LOOK AT IT!!!! IT'S EATEN LOTS OF PROTEIN IN ITS LIFE. ohmygod. "like what? a cat? JJ has it eaten a cat for the protein?" then he swung his lousy weapon at the large fly, which had landed on the side of the TV. and missed. then screamed and ran out of the room. OHMYGOD HOW COULD YOU MISS?!?!?!! IT'S THE FATTEST SLOWEST FLY EVER IN LIFE GET YOURSELF TOGETHER GOD DAMMIT. then he came back into the room muttering something about a night assault that the fly was planning. drama queen.

the fly landed again. only this time in the door frame above my closet. he swung the dishtowel like a limp noodle and the fly fell. into my closet.

I SWEAR TO GOD, IF THERE'S A FAT DEAD FLY IN MY MIU MIUS I'M GOING TO SLAP JJ SILLY WITH THAT DISHTOWEL

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