Tuesday, July 20, 2010

crazy REAL sick

yesterday JJ made me go to the store and buy him vitamins and airborne because one of his coworkers went home with the flu--full stomach flu with body aches--plus on day 3 he got an intense all-over body rash eeeewww--so JJ was extremelyyyy paranoid that he was going to get sick. and i was like YOU ARE FINE. just drink lots of water and take these vitamins and airborne. whatababy.

then last night he took tylenol p.m. during seinfeld and i was like NOOO WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!!? WHO AM I SUPPOSED TO LAUGH WITH?!?!? and he was like "i'm not risking it, i want to get a good night of sleep." annoying.

then at 2 in the morning JJ whined and moaned like that dying black cat in my driveway. and he was like "I DON'T FEEEEEL GOOD" and then he would fart or burp. and i was like "SHHH be quiet. i have a 14-hour day of work tomorrow. besides you are probably just have indigestion because you keep farting and burping." and he was like "no, L, i'm sick. i just know it." and he was up and around all night. in the bed, in the spare bed, on the white couch on the flower couch....etc etc etc. finally at 7:30 i arose and was like OMG THAT WAS THE WORST NIGHT OF SLEEP I HAVE EVER HAD IN LIFE WHAT THE FUDGE?!!?" and JJ looked at me all droopy-eyed and dazed and was like "i haven't slept since 2 in the morning" and i was like "this is ridiculous. you are not sick. you are a hypochondriac. you have a serious problem. you are crazy. CRAZY. you're fine. it's all in your head. now, i will make you a lunch and you go get dressed, come on! up and at 'em JJ!" and so he believed me and got dressed for work. he left.

well, at 1 p.m. he called from home saying, "i have a temperature of 101 degrees. and i have the worst body aches and i dry heaved like 5 times."

oops.

MOTHERFUDGE I FEEL BAD

so i told C i had to run home for a coupla hours and take care of the infant-imean-my husband. i stopped at the store and got him lots of sick things plus some deodorant because he ran out and started using my secret clinical strength protection which is like $400 per ounce. anyway, i'm now sitting in the chair in our room with my shirt over my nose and i have washed my hands 3 times and have also clorox-wiped all the doorknobs and faucet handles and also the toilet flusher. I MEAN COME ON THIS IS THE WORST TIMING IN LIFE. Rah and Nebular's wedding is this weekend. JJ's friend PLou flies to Spoke tomorrow night at 11 p.m. and we are leaving at noon on thursday for the wedding festivities. he better get over this flu quick. ....so back to me feeling bad. oooh i feel so guilty for calling him crazy. poor ol guy. so i keep asking if he wants something. currently he has 4 different cups with different things in them on the nightstand. and now he's sleeping. and he stinks of sick. you know what i mean? there is nothing worse than the smell of sick.

so i will go back to work in an hour and get home around 11 p.m. and will have to sleep on the couch because my bed will be all full of JJ and his sick. then i will have to wake up early tomorrow and wash both sets of sheets before going to work again. i guess that is my punishment for being kind of a big biotch to JJ earlier and calling him a crazy hypochondriac.

2 comments:

  1. 1 - worst feeling in the world is husband-related guilt. but if it were dave, i'd probably think it was the tylenol pm making him all weird and droopy, too. i hope JJ feels better soon.

    2 - your new poll makes me laugh because my 25-year-old husband participates in 2/3 old man sports.

    3 - i've never seen seinfeld before in my life and in the last 24 hours i've heard like 5 seinfeld references that are supposedly hilarious that i don't get and now i want to buy every episode alive on dvd.

    ReplyDelete
  2. THE STENCH OF SICK! I know EXACTLY what you mean. Buhhhhh

    ReplyDelete

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