my last full Rah day in Spoke was shamelessly spent shopping at all of our favorite hot spots, finished with dinner at d'lish and late night crab rolls and pink champagne. we literally spent the entire day together. and it was glorious. i went to her house to pick her up and the martha stewart bitch had a to-go mug of steaming hot cider ready for me. i mean TALK ABOUT PERFECTION.
EXCEPT FOR ABOUT 20 EXCRUCIATING MINUTES OF MY LIFE:
let me set the scene for you:
we were at nordstrom rack. the motherload of all good deals. in fact, Rah found a pair of frye boots for $140. shut up! GOOD DEAL. we were coincidentally browsing the lingerie section when i felt the apple cider rumble. and yes, it was not the first time and it will certainly not be the last, with my IBS and the food allergies....my tum rumbled. and Rah's nose twitched. and WHOOPS. there it went. but how convenient that we were looking at the undies?? i grabbed a gray pair for $1.97 and we GTFOOT and ran to Borders where i promptly changed my unmentionables. and i stood there in the stall with the soiled VS ones, hesitant on what to do. because they were one of my favorite pairs! i was in a real pickle. i wrapped them in paper towels and thought about putting it in my purse, but then i was like OMFG L, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU!?!? YOU CAN'T JUST WALTZ ABOUT TOWN WITH POOP-STAINED UNDERWEAR IN YOUR GUCCI PURSE. NOT ACCEPTABLE. so i threw them away and washed my hands. i met Rah back outside of Borders and instinctively grabbed for my travel mug of apple cider. but it wasn't there. Rah wagged her finger at me, "NO MORE APPLE CIDER FOR YOU L!" boo hoo.
what would a last hurrah in Spoke with Rah be without a shart?