ever since JJ started wearing a retainer his breath literally smells like dog poo when it's in. not to be rude or anything, but it's really bad. so when we're laying in bed and i'm dozing off, i will get a whiff of the Dog Poo Retainer and i'll be all OMFG JJ THAT SMELLS LIKE DOG POO and he will get all offended then i will feel bad. but i mean, that is my instinctual reaction. it literally smells awful.
after he left for work this morning, i leaned over to his side to turn up the "birds in the rainforest" setting on the sound machine because, let's face it: it's a very stressful environment in my bedroom lately--what, with the whole unemployment thing going on in my life.
well anyway, as i leaned over to turn up my birds, i recoiled. do you want to know why?! because sitting there, festering and smelling like dig shit is THIS ON JJ'S NIGHTSTAND:
ew ew ew ew A MILLION TIMES EW
and since i'm obviously not touching that thing without wearing a gas mask, it's staying there until JJ gets home and puts it back into his mouth. barf. so it's been sitting there all day, sneakin peeks at me and grossing me out. so finally i just put a tissue over it. but i still know it's there, lurking under that tissue, ready to gross me out with its dog poo smell AT ANY MOMENT. ashfjkdahjklfkdljs