Thursday, December 22, 2011
trench: Nordstrom Rack, scarf: Urban, tights: Betsey Johnson, boots: BCBG
see that space between the fence and the ground?? Cleo can fit in that space. damn. she is such an escape artist. we need to get some chicken wire to barricade her in. coincidentally, our neighbors have chickens. and like, they just live in a shed. even when it's cold. i feel bad for those chickens. Cleo loves them. she never barks at them. just stands over by the fence and watches them.
we are en route to California Christmas! last night Cleo got a bath, and i got a moth on my sandwich. really. a moth landed on my sandwich and i almost ate it. i went to take a bite and thought in my head "wait a minute WHAT WAS THAT GIANT BLACK THING?!?!" and yanked it away from my mouth. it made my heart jump. but the thing is, after i flicked the moth off, i still ate the sandwich. i probably ate its eggs and now have baby moths hatching in my intestines.
i packed a king size package of christmas peanut m&ms in my carry-on. is that fat of me? i also packed the giant, Bible-sized book Pillars of the Earth to read in Hawaii because my sister CA and Dad say it's the best book ever. all i can say is that shit better be worth it. because it weighs more than Cleo and i'm annyoingly lugging it all around with me.
if you're traveling like us today...then happy travels. and i hope you don't have holes in your socks. because it's so embarrassing to have holes in your socks while going through security in the airport.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
pants: F21, blouse: William Rast for Target, cardigan: Target, socks: Nordstrom, boots: BCBG, delicious sandwich: Jimmy John's
that sandwich was so good. except jimmy john's only has dijon mustard. ew barf. so you have to ask for the little packets of yellow mustard. and i didn't do it yesterday. nothing is worse than biting into a sandwich expecting yellow mustard and being bombarded with spicy diarrhea-colored mustard.
i met JJ for his lunch break and after i picked him up, Cleo sat in his lap shaking. we left her in the car while we went inside and came back out to a steaming pile of shit in the front seat. explains the shaking. i mean you and i both know how completely miserable it is when you've gotta go but you can't. i couldn't punish her because it was my fault for rushing out the door and not allowing the proper amount of time for her to relieve herself before we left. and she hasn't had ONE accident in the new house. good pup.
last night was a delight. we had my friends LJ and her husband and KKiss over for a lovely little dinner party. LJ brought homemade vodka sauce for pasta (that her husband made!) and KKiss brought a salad and lots of baked goodies. (the boys had a "treat draft" at the end of the night. and each took turns picking out cookies to put in a bag to take home. everything is sports related. EVERYTHING!) i bought garlic bread and hard apple cider and beer for my first dinner party guests. it was so fun to have good friends over to our (clean) house. it was laid-back and fun and JJ had sauce splatters all over his shirt at the end of the night. the true sign of a good meal. i love being back in Washington where (most of) my best friends are. and i can't wait until summer when we can have them all over for BBQs in our backyard!
after they went home, JJ and i had a miniature Christmas. since we will be with his family this year, my mom sent over our presents to enjoy early. so we stuffed each others' stockings and unwrapped our gifts and loved all the wonderful treasures from my Mom and Dad. then we fell asleep listening to Clark Griswold freak out when his Christmas lights wouldn't turn on.
and tomorrow morning we head back to CA for Christmas!
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
intolerant professor of the arts. that's what she looks like.
i took a nap in my parents room one day. and when i woke up it was like a zoo. all 4 animals of the house were in the room with me hahahahhh. can you spot them??
Cleo's legs look supermodelishly long here.
a packed car on the way to the new house. srsly when i opened the doors things flew out. Cleo wasn't happy to share her bed with a present.
moving day! the lovely refinished hardwood floors are delightful. and much more appreciated when they are paid for out of your very own savings account.
our Christmas present from JJ's parents. i love them. which makes me sound like a 50s housewife. but really. i love them. they make the lovliest chime sound when the cycle is finished. so charming and pleasant.
Cleo's bay window.
we battled. JJ won. TV on top of the fireplace mantle. *shudder* and that's my Dad on the left. hehehe and my Grandma made that Christmas bear. he's cute. JJ makes fun of his vest. but i like his vest.
i told JJ the first boxes to be unpacked will be the Christmas boxes. the Christmas tree and the pandora Christmas stations have made unpacking so much more bearable.
the dog beach! if it wasn't for Cleo, this would look like the cover of a Stephen King novel, no? JJ looking all pensive, possibly regretful while staring off into the ocean...
Monday, December 19, 2011
sweater: TJ Maxx, leggings: Target, necklace: Anthropologie, boots: BCBG
i just love saying "kris kringle" because i like the way it sounds. and i liked when i used to believe in Santa. before that one year i asked him for a bell from one of the reindeer's harnesses a la polar express. and on Christmas morning, all the presents were opened...and no bell. then my Dad reached under the tree and exclaimed, "L! look! one more present!" and it was a small box with my name on it in my Dad's handwriting. a week later i found a 4-pack of bells opened with one missing. everyone knows the heartbreaking moment when they stopped believing. it's so sad.
omg! i'm back! i promise. for realsies. except maybe i might not blog very often while i'm vacationing in Hawaii next week. wheeeeeeee! unless you would like to see some frighteningly white skin. i can provide that no problem.
ok. so this picture was taken in our new house! and that is the bookshelf my dad refinished for me. isn't it lovely? except the very bottom shelf with all the cords. we love our house. it is tiny and cute and the perfect size. and there is an off-leash dog beach 3 miles from us! Cleo adores it. and it's so pretty.
i unpacked the last wretched box today. it felt amazing. everything has a place now. except for my clothes. the thing about little houses built in the 40s is that people of the 40s only must have owned 1 pair of pants and 3 shirts. because that's all the fits in the closets. and i've already gotten rid of 8 garbage bags! i'm down to the bare minimum. so i have found all sorts of little places around the house to put my clothes. underwears in the linen closet, shoes in the coat closet, skirts under the bed, socks in the desk drawer, etc. it's like a scavenger hunt every time i get dressed.
so we moved in last Monday. and on Tuesday morning when i took Miss Cle out for a tinkle, i locked my own self out. and so immediately i sat down on my porch and cried. because my phone and one set of keys to the house were both sitting inside. and JJ was at work. and i just felt so pitiful. then i got this wild hair and decided i was going to do this. i was going to solve the problem. so i narrowed it down to two options: 1. throw a rock at the back glass door, and 2. break the screen off one of the windows and pray that it would be unlocked. i figured option 2 would cause the least amount of damage. so that's what i did. i became the Incredible Hulk and bent the screen down the middle and threw it aside. the window was unlocked! what luck! then i scaled the side of the house and tossed my dog in before jumping through myself. and i landed on a glass of water and it broke. just so unfortunate. then i made myself one and half cheese sandwiches as a reward for getting in.
the great news is: I FINISHED MY CHRISTMAS SHOPPING TODAY! i am so happy it's done. done done done. no more. we leave for CA on Thursday morning to spend Christmas with JJ's family. then on the 26th i am flitting off to Hawaii to meet my family for some fun and sun! (that was the stupidest sentence i have ever written. i mean how cliche could that have been? "fun and sun!") Cleo is coming to CA with us, but she and JJ aren't going to Hawaii. so sad. he has to work. so JJ will be That Guy in the airport with a tiny white dog as his carry-on. hahahahahhahahahaaa.
Monday, December 5, 2011
Cleo is so emo in this pic. JJ came to Selah for the weekend. one week from today and we (should) be moving into our new house! fings crossed the floor men finish their work in a timely manner!
yesterday i read the hunger games. it was marvelous. addicting and horrible and wonderful all at the same time. and this morning i went into my sister's room to get book 2 of the series and she said "my friend has it." $#$#&*@*#@#$@ so annoying. because once you're in the mood for a story, it's hard to shake it.
i made a plan to go to barnes and noble to pick up book 2. WENT OUT OF BUSINESS. omfg. c'monnnnnn. i drove to target. they had book 1 and book 3. but not book 2. I MEAN. how unlucky? so i drove home frustrated and empty handed. and then i got a phone call from bank of america. some fraudulent asshole tried to use my card to open up a netflix account. aye yi yi. so i had to cancel my card and order a new one. which is SO annoying. because of all the things attached to my card. now i have to go back on all my websites and change my card number. so not ideal during the holiday season. but whatevs. i said thank you to the man and asked the all-important question: "the new card that's being issued, it's the hello kitty platinum plus card that's coming right?" pause. "acutally ma'am, i'm sorry to say that card is discontinued."
this is the worst day.
what will i do? what am i supposed to do without Hello Kitty? i'm much too fancy for a boring red, white and blue credit bank of america card. my heart sank and i shouted to the man "nooooooooo!" in a very dramatic fashion. and the guy laughed. he laughed at me. so i quietly said, "ihavetogobye" and he said "wait! will you stay on the line to conduct a 1 minute survey?" no, no i will NOT stay on the line to conduct a 1 minute survey you worthless fartknuckle.
the only thing i can think that may be positive about the situation is that Hello Kitty's sleek black face will no longer be there to encourage me to spend my precious dollars on something fun. as my mom said, i will "have to look like a grownup now" which is so depressing. i shall use my new boring credit card to buy grownup things like depends and salt.
i hate Bad Luck Days.
there was a giant harry potter marathon going on. Dad, sister MM, (JJ for some of it) and i watched 1-6. and tonight we are tackling 7 part 1 and tmrw night we'll finish with a bang and do 7 part 2.
we had a nice long deep conversation about Snape after finishing 6 last night. poor, poor Severus Snape. we all cried out and screamed when the dead soul's hand reached up out of the water and grabbed Harry's hand, and all had a glistening tear in our eye as Dumblebore (or as Dad calls him "Dumbledorf") died. and then MM sent me a link to all things Harry Potter humor and i died at Snape bringing Voldemort tacos. hilarious.
i miss the thrill of anticipating the release of the next HP book. such wonderful stories they are.
i remember our family was listening to HP on tape in the car on a road trip. i was 15 and had just gotten my permit and my Mom said i could drive for a while (thrilling at age 15. now i hate to drive). anyway, while i was driving we got to the part in the book where the reader is informed about hippogriff and how one must bow to it while maintaining eye contact, in order to earn the magical creature's respect. i was entranced by the story and wanted to become a part of it, so naturally i bowed just as Harry did. only my Mom didn't think i was bowing to the imaginary hypogriff. she screamed and said "WAKE UP L! WAKE UP!" she thought i was falling asleep at the wheel. so dramatic.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
my sister's cat Lewis cleaning his anus. cats licking their buttholes is so hilarious.
Cleo and Lewis sharing the couch.
my parents dog Lola666 climbing into my bed in the morning and greeting me with a polite and quiet hello.
Dad decorating the tree!
i went to my Dad's office and was given this by one of his employees. he asked me to read it aloud. so inappropriate! this is the same man who also signed me up for a health insurance plan.
resting after a long day of barking at strangers.
hahaha Cleo was laying on her back on my belly like this watching a movie with her ears all splayed out. so funny and cute.
thanksgiving morning. and MM and CA were such a big asset in the preparation of dinner for 29 people.
thanksgiving mid-morning and we have another wonderful helper.
an hour before thanksgiving dinner and i found this one eager to set the table. BY THE WAY i made a sweet potato casserole (NO NOT THE ONE WITH MARSHMALLOWS) and it was a raging success. i must have gotten 12 compliments on it. pat on back, self.
snowww! it's all gone now :( boo
llamas are so bizarre. CA and i took the dogs for a walk and stopped to watch these weirdos.
Cleo and Lola666 cuddling with CA's leg.
tiny pup in a big car.
i realize that i have been gone far too long. but living at my parents' house out of the same suitcase i packed for myself in the cucamongross a month ago isn't exactly conducive to creative outfit ideas. we are about a week and a half away from moving into our very own little house. so close! (JJ said Chanel couldn't come unless i bought him a comfortable chair to watch tv in. so rude. she's coming anyway and i haven't gotten him a chair). the closing date is december 8 and then the workmen are going in to tear up the carpet and refurbish the hardwood floors. THEN we get to move in. i told JJ the first box we are opening is the Christmas box. the tree goes up first. then we can unpack everything else. soon after we move in, we head back down to CA for christmas with JJ's family. then the day after christmas i go to Hawaii with my family and JJ heads back to Seattle. (he can't come to Hawaii this year and it is so SO sad. he has to work). so december is quite the full month for us. it will go by in a flash.
ANYWAY, exciting things:
1. we bought a washer and a dryer and a fridge on black friday. that is the most we have ever bought on black friday. and sears was so gross. so many people hovering over appliances with greedy smiles, like rats staking claim over pieces of cheese.
2. i am 75% done with christmas shopping. only 3 more people on my list. YES! yesterday i was on hour 2 of 3 in my shopping extravaganza when i suddenly felt quite ill. really lightheaded and hot and sweaty like i had had my bloodwork done. i had to sit on the ground in the tj maxx and put my head between my legs. and people walked by like it was completely normal. and nobody asked if i was ok. NOBODY. it was so rude. one man even stepped over me to get a better look at the knitted hats. i mean, if i saw someone sitting on the floor with their head between their legs i would say "are you ok?! can i get you anything?!" and pat them on the back and say "there, there." but i guess i'm just nice like that.
3. my mom, sister MM and i have taken a liking to the horribly cheesy hallmark christmas movies. we watch one every night. and we like to predict what is going to happen in the end. "oh i totally know that santa is going to get his memory back when he sees that picture of mrs. claus...OH! that girl totally asked for a little brother for christmas 10 years ago and when the little brother finds out there's going to be a heartfelt moment..." it's so fun.
4. i ordered a return address stamp for our new address! this is by far the most exciting thing. because we are going to live there for a while. we won't be moving in a year. so i bought a nice stamp. a real rubber one with hand calligraphy.
5. i've taken quite a liking to mandarin oranges lately. like a serious obsession. like 4 a day. they are just so delicious and orange-y.
6. i skipped out on the victoria's secret fashion show this year. wasn't in the mood for all those tall skinny bitches with their perfect lives and crystal thongs to taunt me.
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
these are in no particular order:
that is a crusty old Cleo turd. my Papa found it in his office and put it on my dresser to teach me a lesson.
Cleo in the apartment the day before we moved. she just stood on the stool looking around worriedly.
i ate too many ruffles on the road trip. we were so cramped in the car. i didn't trust the movers with my special things. and i have a lot of special things. so i brought them in my car to keep them safe.
the last CA sunset.
Cleo trying to get comfy in the stuffed car.
this was my setup for a few days in my childhood bedroom at my parents' house.
i went to my sister M's house and said "let's make cookies!" so i watched her make them. i sent this picture to her husband and said "i'm making cookies." he said "hey, that's the same recipe i use" LOL. and how hilar is their bulldog Hamilton just sitting there waiting for a piece of dough to drop?!?!!!
my parents' dog Lola666 pretending to be tiny. that's Cleo's bed. Lola666 is a 65-lb Golden Doodle.
Cleo is Mrs. Claus!
Lola666 now pretending to be a lap dog. who is that hideous caveman she's sitting on?
Rob Pattinson on Today. heart fluttering!!!
Mimi bought Cleo a carseat. yes that's real. they make carseats for dogs now.
took the sea pooch on a walk to the waterfront today.
that's me and sister CA snooping through MM's texts to her boyfriend. JJ told us we were assholes and caught us red-handed. (note: those pants we are wearing were given to us by Mimi. they are 100% fleece. from costco. they are the very best pants in the ENTIRE world. it's like wearing a cloud. and they are only $9.99. go and get yourself a pair right now!)
i love this video. Chanel chasing a piece of chalk around my parents' house. she is SO into it until Lola666 walks by. then she looks away and pretends she wasn't just having the time of her life.