last night JJ took me on a date. to Little Tokyo then to the King's game.
JJ said he wanted to take me out to sushi. which i already don't really like. but he said he had a surprise store he wanted to take me to, so i obliged.
so we got to the sushi place. and it was one of those placed where they literally don't cook anything. it's all just raw. vomit. and there aren't tables. just a counter top all around the sushi chefs, so i was bumping elbows all night with a geek talking about how he wanted to be a spy. but it was authentic and cool, and JJ was completely thrilled.
we sat down and this lady in a kimono brought me a wet, rolled up wash cloth. i just stared at it. JJ was like "L, it's a hot towel!" and i was like "what? why?" and he said, "oh stop it, just unroll it and wipe your hands with it." so i did. except it was SO HOT I PRACTICALLY BURNED MYSELF. then the lady brought a tray with green playdough and shaved meat. which i know is really wasabi and ginger. but still. it's weird. so i just copied JJ and put a little bit of wasabi in my soy sauce and swished it around. i have eaten at sushi places a few times before, but i feel like it's weird. and there are no first-time sushi-ers in LA i swear!! everyone is all like "oh yes, may i have more ginger please?" and they all know what to do with the hot towel. and they know what to order. and they're all bff with the sushi chef. and so i really felt like a giant ass. i was so awkward with my sushi. i put the plate on my tray when everyone else left their plate on the ledge. like, how does everyone just KNOW that??
i obviously ordered a vegetable roll. but JJ was all adventurous and ordered raw salmon and raw halibut and shit. and the guy next to JJ ordered a shrimp head. OMFG SICK.
and there weren't forks like at the sushi places in Spoke. just chopsticks. and i don't know how to use chopsticks. so i ended up just jabbing at the sushi with one chopstick and moving it really fast up to my mouth so i didn't drop it. and i tried to take a bite of the sushi, which apparently is not acceptable because it all fell apart and fell onto my lap. and it's not like i could scoop up the droppings because I DIDN'T HAVE A FORK OMG so JJ laughed at me and told me i had to eat the whole sushi in one bite. which was just too big of a bite. i felt like a hog.
afterward JJ surprised me and took me to a big ol hello kitty store! but we were late to the King's game, so i didn't really have time to look or buy anything. but we are going to go back to Little Tokyo so that i can become a sushi natural and so that i can buy a GOD DAMN HELLO KITTY FORK at the GOD DAMN hello kitty store to keep in my GOD DAMN purse to eat GOD DAMN sushi with.
so i am not a sushi natural, and i will never ever in life try raw fish. i will stick to veggie rolls or possibly california rolls.