Friday, March 11, 2011

JJ's Tangent

shirt: i just don't know bc the tag was itchin' my neck so i ripped it out, trouser jeans: J Brand, hair: freshly washed

LOL no, i don't have a midget living in my apartment. that's a storage door. 

i got that shirt in NY with my ma. it makes me feel like a hippie. my mom took me to NY for my spring break senior year in college. and we shoppppppppped and went to shows and FLEW FIRST CLASS is was fanTAStic. here it is close up:



this morning we woke up to the news :'( it's just terrible. i feel like the earth is pissed off at us for driving cars, and cutting down forests and drilling for oil and eating animals....and such. it's like it's sad. and it's yelling at us (earthquake) and crying (tsunami) for us to please be nicer to it. so i'm going to make more of an effort to lesson my footprint. you should all try too. we gotsta give the earth some RESPECT.  

so i was engrossed in the news and drinking coffee from my panda mug when all of a sudden i got a whiff. a whiff of nasty. OMG IT'S MAH HAIR. I'M EMBARR. so i raced to the shower. and JJ left to go work out. and he's gone for like an hour. he comes home right when i'm frantically late, trying to leave the house. BUT NOT THIS MORNING. this particular morning, as i was drying my hair topless and singing a Red Hot Chili Peppers song (californication if you MUST know), i hear a low, deep voice behind me utter my name. obviously i screamed and dropped the hair dryer on my foot and screamed again. i looked up in the mirror and there was my husband. then i looked down at his hand. it was covered in blood. i was like OMFG YOU'RE GOING TO BLEED ON THAT DIRTY CLOTHES PILE THAT HAS MY FAVORITE EVER WHITE CAMI IN IT PLEASE GO TO THE SINK. so he went to the sink. and i said kindly, "what ever happened my dear dear dear husband?" and then it was time for his tangent:

JJ: "L, I'LL TELL YA WHAT HAPPENED: I WAS ON THE TREADMILL LISTENING TO KE$HA (i paused here for a giggle) AND THE SPEED WENT FROM 5 TO 8 TO 6 TO 9 TO 6.5 TO 4. AND SO I TRIED TO JUMP OFF SO I WOULDN'T BREAK BOTH OF MY LEGS AND MY HAND HIT THE THING REALLY HARD AND IT SLICED OPEN OHGOD L, DO I NEED STITCHES? I DON'T NEED STITCHES DO I? IT'S JUST A FLESH WOUND. OOOOOOOH I'M GOING TO SUE DEL MAR FOR NEGLIGENCE. L, THIS WAS COMPLETE NEGLIGENCE

pause for a back story: last week we got a notice on our door saying that our directv dish (L's Tangent: GHOD I MOTHER-EFFING HATE THAT DISH IT'S THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE ALWAYS RUINING PICTURES AND SHIT) needs to be moved off the rails and onto a tripod on the balcony. they included the part in the lease where it states that the dish can't be on the balcony rails and they even included a picture of our dish. end pause, now JJ continued:

I'M GOING TO TELL THEM THAT IF THEY DON'T WANT ME TO SUE THEM, THEN THEY BETTER LEAVE OUR SATELLITE DISH ALONE! THERE'S BLOOD ON THE TREADMILL, L. THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE. BUT I RAN OUT OF THERE. AND I DIDN'T CLEAN IT UP BECAUSE I'M PISSED. IT'S NEGLIGENCE, NEGLIGENCE!!

and i stifled my laughter and said, "ok. you do that. are you going to be OK?" and then he whimpered that his hand hurt and i played Dr. L and peroxided his wound and put neosporin and a camouflage bandaid on it. poor ol JJ. 

i didn't think it was a good time to tell him that Japan was worse off than him.

OMFG! RAH AND NEBULAR ARE COMING TO STAY WITH US FOR THE WEEKEND! YIPSSSSS WE PICK THEM UP AT 7. woooooooohoooooo!!

1 comment:

  1. GIVE ME YOUR SHIRT.
    also, LOL at poor JJ. that sucks. you should totally sue...or at least get free rent for a while.

    ReplyDelete

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