Thursday, March 31, 2011

a tale of a rotten tooth

shorts: Urban, top: LC for Kohl's, socks: Urban, shoes: Steve Madden

this picture is crap.

and i didn't blog yesterday because my mouth hurt and i was being whiny.

so i haven't been to the dentist since right before my wedding. so basically two years ago. and Dr. Washut was keeping an eye out on a certain tooth that he called "sticky." well he couldn't really keep an eye out on my sticky tooth if i wasn't coming into his office. so two years went by. and for two years i haven't had dental insurance. and finally my husband made me a dentist appointment. with a dentist who has a sponsorship deal with JJ's work. therefore, i was in for a $39 basic cleaning/x-rays. i left work an hour early and popped into the dentist. and i filled out my new patient paperwork. it asked the question, "how would you describe your dental health?" and i pompously and purposely circled "excellent," because i brush and floss and my teeth are white and straight. well, after the x-rays, the dentist came into my room and said, "you have got an enormous cavity." and i instantly regretted circling "excellent," because now i just looked like an ass. and i said, "oh. well, i do not have dental insurance. how much does a cavity cost?" and she said she would have her bookkeeper come and talk to me about pricing. then she said, "the huge cavity is awfully close to the nerve. i might not be able to fill it. you might need a root canal." and i just wanted to cry and die. EXCELLENT DENTAL HEALTH?!?!!??!?!?!?! NOT. and then she said, "i would like to get in there right now if you have time, because if we wait any longer, a root canal will be the only way to fix it." and so it began.

no laughing gas. and no smiley face carved into the light fixture. and no Gina the dental assistant asking me how my boyfriend is. just a cold, hard dentist chair and 2 shots to my gums. and a dentist who didn't laugh at my jokes.  and an assistant who i'm 99% sure is an ex-gang member because he had an angry skeleton tattooed on his arm and the word "respect" tattooed on his knuckles, soooo....yeah. not cool. my cavity cost $235. which is a lot. but i don't have to have a root canal. a root canal would have been $1,800.

i got out of there all numb and drooly and feeling sorry for myself and my rotten tooth. so i called my mom. no answer. JJ. no answer. Moon. no answer. dad. no answer. then i gave up. no one wanted to feel sorry for me.

so i went home and used my new white cavity filling to eat 4 reeses peanut butter cups.

the end.


  1. i'm jeal you got a WHITE filling! i had my first 2 cavities ever in 21 years and we were too poor to pay for the white fillings so i had to get silver ones. and i hate them. someday when i'm rich from writing the next great american novel, i'm paying to have those gross silver ones taken out and replaced with pearly white ones.

  2. you should have called me. we could have whined together. I was all numb and drooley and sad too. :( whaaaa....!!!

  3. Yeah, white fillings look more natural than those silver ones. At least, you got your teeth fixed now. Did you even mention about any pain? I don't think you did. Most girls would whine about it. You can still continue with your oral cleaning habits, though.


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