Wednesday, April 13, 2011

the rotten toothed bad cook

skirt: Trouvé, tee: Forever21, sweater: Thakoon for Targ, boots: MIA

LOL it  looks like i'm kickin the party flamingo. 

craaaaaazy hair day. you see, i took a shower this morning (!!!) aren't you proud of me?!?!? SHOWERING IN THE MORNING!??! i'm awesome today.

wanna know who's NOT awesome today? the fudging dentist who filled my rotten tooth. i went back today because it's been two weeks and my teeth STILL hurt. want to know what the dentist said? he said (he is the dentist husband of the woman who filled my cavity) "oh, looks like there might be some nerve damage, we're going to have to go back in there and RE-DO IT." did you hear me?!?! RE-DO IT YOU GUYS. like, no. no no no no no. you got your chance and you fudged it up. i was like "what? no. whatttt??" and he was like "yeah, probably not ideal...." and trailed off. PROBABLY NOT IDEAL!?!?! and the girl with the big hair at the front desk said come back in next tuesday. THEN the dentist said, "WE'LL SEE YOU AT THE QUAKES GAME TMRW NIGHT!" and i was like. mother. fudge. i forgot that i got a good deal on my cavity because of ol' JJ's work. so i have to be real nice to them even though they made my tooth worse.

so obviously i walked to my car and called my mom to complain and maybe a few tears slipped out. because i am FRUSTRATED. beyonddddd frustrated. just angry. and mad. and my mom said to go to another dentist. so i am. tomorrow on my lunch break. but i need to get another opinion. AND I JUST KEEP PILIN' THE DENTAL BILLS ON POOR OL' HELLO KITTY. such is life. 

okay so i know you are all dying to hear about my meal last night. i cooked. well, i prepared and JJ barbecued. i opened the package of salmon and wanted to B-A-R-F OMG. it was all scaly and nasty you guys. like EWWWWW RAW MEAT IS SOOOOO GROSSSSS. and i refused to touch it. (first ad LAST time i ever ever EVER cook any meat. EVER). so i made JJ unwrap it and put it on a plate. THEN i doused it in butter and lemon and garlic salt and parmesan cheese. then i put it in tin foil and gave it to JJ to put on the BBQ. then i prepared the artichokes. BBQ. then i did my all-time fave: wrapped brie cheese in crescent rolls from pilsbury and baked it. mmmmmm DELICIOUSSSSSSS. then i made chipotle mayonnaise. i chopped up chipotle peppers and put them in the mayo and added lemon juice. OMG SO DELISHHHHH

so, are you dying to know how it turned out?!?!

there it is! looks delish right? well it wasn't. the artichokes weren't done. only the middle pieces were edible. the salmon was barf-worthy. just old, dry salmon. the salmon crust stuck to the tin foil. and the brie was cold in the middle. so i just lose. BUT the chipotle mayonnaise was UNREAL. SO SO SOOOO GOOD. i mean, how can you ruin mayonnaise? you can't. because it's amazing. so after "dinner" i ate a whole bowl of popcorn. JJ ate some salmon, then he tried to hide from me that he stuffed the rest of the shitty salmon in his artichoke, but i saw. 

let's keep score, shall we?

Delicious Meals Made in the Hansen Home:
L: 0

that's OK PEOPLE! round two of L in the kitchen tonight! i'm makin' baked portabella pasta with gorgonzola and mozzarella. YUMMERS. recipe from Rah's cousin and my pal Sandi

hopefully tonight goes better....otherwise cooking is gonna get REAL OLD REAL FAST.

also i texted my boss today and it was supposed to say "no probs!" and iPhone auto correct made it "no probes" C'MON.


  1. You're gonna get an instant cooking confidence booster lady! YAY YOU! let me know how it goes- worse case just put more cheese on it. ha! sorry about your tooth :( sad.

  2. baby steps with the cooking. at least you tried. your hair looks cute, maybe you should shower in the morning more often :)

  3. That meal sounds complicated! I agree with Sam, baby steps.

  4. Whyever would you barby artichokes when they are so delicious if you simply steam them in salted water with 1/2 a lemon. I also steam my salmon and it comes out moist and delish! Keeep it simple, baby girl, and you will soon be known as a fine cook!


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