Thursday, March 31, 2011

i lost my package (lol)

pants: Ross, tee: Juicy Couture, shoes: Marshall's


and also i have new hair. i was getting a little bored with the blonde blonde blonde. so she dyed the underneath dark brown and put some brown lowlights throughout. i like it. i feel cool. ALSO, WHILE I WAS GETTING MY HAIR DONE, i had a GLASS OF WINE and my hairdresser and i shared a pizza! how's that for service?! srsly. she took out my feathers. but i'm going back in to get them back soon.

obsessed with these new shoes i got yesterday at Marshall's. i found the best hidden gem of a Marshall's ever in life. and i'm SO THRILLED. and i'm not telling anyone about it. because then they will steal all the good things that could potentially be mine. selfish? i call it smart shopping. 
i also got Cleo a new toy. it's a fluffy pink dog. and it has the longest skinniest legs imaginable. it's hilarious. Cleo likes to suck on the legs like a little weirdo.

also, would you like to know a story of my poor luck??
i ordered Rah a personalized custom birthday gift. on st. patrick's day. and it still isn't here. so i contacted the company and asked why i hadn't received it. they said it was delivered. and they attached the tracking number for USPS. so i clicked. WELL MY FUDGING PACKAGE CONTAINING RAH'S BIRTHDAY GIFT WAS SENT TO THE M.H. IN SPOKANE. just please. so i called my old landlord. and i said, "could i please have the number for the people that currently live in our old place?" NO. NO I CAN'T. WANT TO KNOW WHY? BECAUSE THE CURRENT TENANT IS IN THE NAVY AND IS IN IRAQ. IRAQ. for months. and so Rah's bday gift will sit for months. inside this man's mailbox. the landlord said, "well, i can try to contact him over there..." LIKE NO, I DON'T WANT YOU TO CONTACT HIM. HE NEEDN'T BE BOTHERED WITH A FRIVOLOUS GIRL'S FRIEND'S BIRTHDAY PACKAGE!! HE HAS MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT OMG. 

so there my birthday package for Rah sits. inside this man's mailbox. who is in Iraq. and Rah is just down the road. within a mile of her birthday present--all locked away for months inside of a mailbox that isn't accessible. just please. i permanently lose. LOSE.

a tale of a rotten tooth

shorts: Urban, top: LC for Kohl's, socks: Urban, shoes: Steve Madden

this picture is crap.

and i didn't blog yesterday because my mouth hurt and i was being whiny.

so i haven't been to the dentist since right before my wedding. so basically two years ago. and Dr. Washut was keeping an eye out on a certain tooth that he called "sticky." well he couldn't really keep an eye out on my sticky tooth if i wasn't coming into his office. so two years went by. and for two years i haven't had dental insurance. and finally my husband made me a dentist appointment. with a dentist who has a sponsorship deal with JJ's work. therefore, i was in for a $39 basic cleaning/x-rays. i left work an hour early and popped into the dentist. and i filled out my new patient paperwork. it asked the question, "how would you describe your dental health?" and i pompously and purposely circled "excellent," because i brush and floss and my teeth are white and straight. well, after the x-rays, the dentist came into my room and said, "you have got an enormous cavity." and i instantly regretted circling "excellent," because now i just looked like an ass. and i said, "oh. well, i do not have dental insurance. how much does a cavity cost?" and she said she would have her bookkeeper come and talk to me about pricing. then she said, "the huge cavity is awfully close to the nerve. i might not be able to fill it. you might need a root canal." and i just wanted to cry and die. EXCELLENT DENTAL HEALTH?!?!!??!?!?!?! NOT. and then she said, "i would like to get in there right now if you have time, because if we wait any longer, a root canal will be the only way to fix it." and so it began.

no laughing gas. and no smiley face carved into the light fixture. and no Gina the dental assistant asking me how my boyfriend is. just a cold, hard dentist chair and 2 shots to my gums. and a dentist who didn't laugh at my jokes.  and an assistant who i'm 99% sure is an ex-gang member because he had an angry skeleton tattooed on his arm and the word "respect" tattooed on his knuckles, soooo....yeah. not cool. my cavity cost $235. which is a lot. but i don't have to have a root canal. a root canal would have been $1,800.

i got out of there all numb and drooly and feeling sorry for myself and my rotten tooth. so i called my mom. no answer. JJ. no answer. Moon. no answer. dad. no answer. then i gave up. no one wanted to feel sorry for me.

so i went home and used my new white cavity filling to eat 4 reeses peanut butter cups.

the end.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

What's on L's Phone?

you should play too! via Jessica

i realized i was breaking Lent after i had eaten that much. I HAD TO FINISH THE LAST BITE! so sorry, God. please forgive me.

finally got banana grams! and played with JJ last night. he hated it. OF COURSE. now i have no one to play with :(

Cleo hanging out in her own bed for once. 

Cleo's new raincoat LOL. she wouldn't face me when she had it on.

my party poodle shirt. it reminds me of Rah's dogs. they are both poodle mixes. so she calls them her "party poodles." now i have a party poodle of my own.

my sister MM sent me this pic of Chanel OUT COLD in the car. 

MY FAVIES! i made my way through the better part of this bag last night. why are reeses eggs SO MUCH BETTER than regular old reeses cups?? no one knows.

me and Juelz Santana on tower of terror. we are right there in the front. i'm squeezing her arm. NO MATTER HOW MANY TIMES I GO ON THAT RIDE, I WILL ALWAYS BE SCARED.

new nail trend. pick two polishes from the same color family (one dark, one light) and paint the ring finger of each hand the darker color. paint the rest the lighter color. love it!

Cleo actually wearing her raincoat in the rain. she wouldn't actually walk while she was wearing it. so i had to pick her up. what a snob.

 my new fishy magnets at work :)

leg hair problem

giant houndstooth skirt/tee: Go International @ Target, socks: Kate Spade, heels: Isaac Misrahi for Target, bracelet: Juicy Couture

i had jellybeans for breakfast.

did i tell you that my car's bumper is inside my trunk? yes, it's true. it fell off when i was driving it and i ran it over. sad, sad day. the guy at the volvo place said $1,500 to get a new bumper. so that's why my car is bumper-less. i think i'll ask for a bumper for my birthday. 
i'm excited for it to be officially april on friday. because that means the Fab 5 get-together is SOON (as in NEXT WEEK). (KKiss is coming the 6th, KitKat and LJ on the 7th and Sam on the 8th) yeeee! also i love april fool's day. we put saran wrap on the toilet in my parent's bathroom so my Dad's pee sprayed all over when he went. we knew it worked when we heard him yell the F word. once we put all his underwear in the freezer. that was hilar. and we rubberbanded the sink sprayer in the kitchen so that when my Mom turned the water on it would spray right in her face. actually she fell for that one every year. hahahahhahahahaaa. i gotta think of something totally brill to get JJ with. if you have any ideas, let me know. 

also i have a dentist appointment today. JJ found a place that does $39 basic cleanings for people who don't have dental insurance (me). i haven't had my teeth cleaned since before my wedding. sooooo, i hope i don't have any cavities. now that i'm thinking of it, i probably shouldn't have eaten jellybeans for breakfast. i can't wait to have nice clean teeth. but here's why i don't really want to go to the dentist today: i'm wearing a skirt. and i realized after i left the house that i haven't put a razor to my legs guys this is SO EMBARR....since i went to Vegas. so that's roughly four weeks ago. my leg hair is blonde, so it's really not that bad. but up close in a dentist chair, i think it will be stupidly noticeable. i could literally braid my leg hair at this point, so i really don't know what to do. i may stop and buy a pair of pants on the way? i told JJ that my legs are unshaven and he acted like i wanted to rob a bank. he was like "EWWW, L. THAT'S DISGUSTING COME ONNN!" and i was like "well you never noticed so shut up. PLUS IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE BEEN NEGLECTING MY ARMPITS OR SOMETHING." i mean c'mon. i haven't "let myself go" and grown a FUPA or anything. i just haven't shaved my legs in a short while. ghodddd.

Monday, March 28, 2011

popcorn toots

black skinnies: Forever21, denim shirt: h&m, sweater vest: Rah's goodwill pile, belt: Gap, shoes: Urban

what are those stupid faces i'm making? really. and what are all those stains on the cement around my front door? grody. i was a hyper sniper last night. JJ went to go play hockey and of course i watched more episodes of SLOTAT (secret life of the american teenager). i'm so totally hooked. and it's great because there are like 100 seasons. when JJ got home i just wanted popcorn and to play. so i ate the popcorn and got popcorn toots. and i laughed every time i had a popcorn toot and tried to tickle JJ's armpits. he seemed to be annoyed. i was having a gas! literally.

this morning i had the worst cramps ever. and so i asked my coworkers if they had midol or tylenol (i left my mini medicine cabinet bag at home CURSEEEE) and no one had normal over-the-counter drugs. NO. THEY ALL HAD MUSCLE RELAXERS. i was like OMG I CAN'T HAVE A MUSCLE RELAXER I WILL DIE. so i passed. but the thing i don't get is why everyone just has muscle relaxers like they're skittles or something. 
i bought the best dress ever in life. to wear to Sam's wedding. it was meant to be. the only one. someone returned it. and it was just my size. definite need you guys. no, you say? shut up.

oh and that's my dog.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

one sad day

black skinny jeans: Forever21, gray tank: Wet Seal, fur collared jacket: Urban Outfitters, boots: MIA,  hat: JJ's

there's a lot going on in this picture. i'll address the hat first. my roots were a greasy embarrassing mess this morning. so i stole JJ's hat out of his closet. and just as i was ripping the tag off, he got all offended and said, "hey...that's MY hat. and i haven't even worn it yet. let me at least wear it out to the car." and i was all NO! THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS HAT IS TO COVER MY NASTY HAIRRRRRR. then he gave me a sad look. so i said FINE. so right after this picture i had to hand the hat over to the baby so he could wear it to the car. what-EVER. 

also, see Cleo in the left corner? she is wearing a raincoat hahahahaha it's so cute i could die. like every other piece of clothing, she hates it. but she looks so adorable in it. so i made her wear it for like 5 minutes.

do you see that black lace in the right corner? that would be my favorite ever in the world umbrella. it's hot pink with giant flowers and trimmed with that black lace. it's Betsey Johnson. before i start this story, i have to say that even though i love him, JJ is a giant ASSFAIL when it comes to patience. exhibit A: he can't even open a Netflix. like every single time he rips it up and i end up having to put the DVD into a separate envelope and pay postage. i mean it's unreal. he just cannot do it. exhibit B: when he makes dinner he can't wait until he's sitting at the table with me to eat. instead, he stands in the kitchen eating his meal right out of the pot. exhibit C: today, as he was rushing me out of my closet and out of the house, he grabbed the umbrella and yanked it up really fast. it made a scary noise. and i yelped, "NO! PLEASE TELL ME THAT MY FAVORITE EVER IN THE WORLD UMBRELLA IS NOT BROKEN" and he hung his head and made a sad face.

just please.

sundays with the hungover housewife

there once was a housewife named L. she used to think cleaning was Hell.
to make her life fine, she added some wine,
and thus her torment was quelled.

see L fluff pillows.

see L pause to smile lovingly at married monogrammed pillow. L sure does love her husband!

 see L place pillows just right.

 see L fluff whilst balancing on one foot. what a talented gal!

see L fluffing and smiling demurely at her husband. L loves to multi-task!

 L sure worked hard! a teensy bit of wine is much deserved! 

"stolen kisses" night shirt: Forever21, shrug: Converse, sparkle Uggs

tune in next sunday for more adventures in domesticity with the Hungover Housewife! 


i forgot to tell you:

i was HERE ON MOON'S BLOG on friday

check it out.


dog blues

 jeans: Gap, ombre top: GO international-Targs, sweater: BCBG, silver flats: Aldo

my face: i may or may not have been acting like a brat that morning. but i was mad. those jeans went in the dryer and shrunk. so i can't wear heels with them anymore. JEANS ARE ALWAYS TOO SHORT IT'S SOOOOO ANNOYING.

thursday i spent my whole day at work designing and printing out name tags. so i didn't have time to blog. and friday was my beloved cesar chavez day off and i spent the day in disneyland with Juelz Santana (WHO, BY THE WAY, GOT TO EAT DINNER AT CLUB 33 NO FAIRRRR). and then i went home after disneyland and did our taxes. tres responsible.

yesterday i spent the whole day alone, as JJ was at the king's game and out to dinner for his friend's bday. Cleo and i mosed around, and i watched three episodes of (DON'T MAKE FUN) "the secret life of the american teenager." okay, it's low-budg, but i kinda like it. and molly ringwald plays the mom. it's weird to see her all grown up. then i started cleaning the apartment. the thing about a tiny apartment is that it gets so dirty so quick, but then it's so quick and easy to clean!

and. then. i discovered that my stupidddddddd doggggggg has been peeing on the carpet when we're gone! she was doing so well because i was unemployed and at home. but now that i leave, she pees again. you guys. i just lose. so i went on amazon and ordered a bissel. a hand-held bissel. JJ and i think it's an investment. cheaper than renting a carpet cleaner from the grocery store 200 times.

then Cleo and i were off to TJ Maxx to find treasures/a birthday present for our brother-in-law, Sanjin. (that's his real name by the way. JJ's sis married a Croatian!) which i found. along with A LADYBUG RAINCOAT FOR CLEO. i told my mom and she said, "i thought you were only buying things you 'need' L" ....THAT ONLY APPLIES TO ITEMS $10 AND UP MOM, GHODDD. PLUS IT'S BEEN RAINING LOTS SO SHE NEEDED IT. NEEDED.

when we got home i crafted for a bit and then got back on my computer to keep watching my new fave show, when all of a sudden the powercord for my laptop broke in half. IN HALFFFFF. LIKE, WHAT?! it had been taped in about 13 places because my comp cord was CLEO'S FAVORITE THING TO CHEW as a puppy....but this time it literally broke in half. i tried to tape it back---didn't work. so i went on to buy a new one. a power cords cost $80!??!!? WHAT? NO FUDGING WAY. so i yet again went on amazon. got a new one. with expedited shipping. totaling $50. so basically i spent $100 yesterday because of the dog. (+ $6.99 for a dog raincoat)

the moral of this blog is: don't get a dog

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

i love teeth

 slacks: Michael Kors, long-sleeved tee: GapBody, blue tie top: Rave

feeling badass-ish today. so i reflected my mood with the exposure in this picture. 

i had a dream last night that my jaw broke, my teeth fell out and i was bleeding everywhere. i was at the fair (ew) with my family and i was like "GUYS I THINK I GOTTA GO TO THE DENTIST! CALL DR. WASHUT RIGHT NOW!" and they were all "IT'S FINE, L. IT'S FINE. WE'LL TAKE YOU LATER." the weird thing is that my jaw actually hurt in my i must have been clenching my teeth or something. i woke up and jolted upright and instantly reached for my mouth. phew. still have teeth and jaw. i always have dreams where my teeth fall out.


also, i fell up the stairs today at work. idiot.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

What's on L's Phone?


you should play too! via Jessica

fat arm. snuggling with Chanellard at home.

I CAN'T FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE THIS UNSIDEWAYS ARGGGG. but this is a picture of a picture that i found at home of me, KitKat and LJ in high school. sitting together in a white bench and being all chummy and thinking we are so cool. i believe we are all wearing Tilt jeans. from PacSun. ohhhhh, good times.

this is my sister M's fiance C-Brad's dog Hamilton. he doesn't like cameras. that's why it's blurry. he's in the process of trying to run away from the camera. M and i popped over to C-Brad's (soon to be C-Brad & M's) house to say hi to Hamilton on Saturday morning after breakfast.

Cleo got a present from Sabby in the mail! it's a t-shirt with a pink sparkly skull on it! Sabby knows us too well. thanks SABBYYYYYYY

my parents went to Switzerland. and sent me this tee. doofus JJ in the back.

i woke up on friday morning last week to this. srsly. i'm a fat slob. the treats include everything that i ate the night before: butterfingers, starbursts, popsicles

Scholarly Chanel

SIDEWAYS ARGHH! found this picture at home too. that's me and Kev. as little kiddies on halloween. he was born 6 days before me. i've known him since birth. i like this picture. and i think i am making a classic L face that i still make today.


up at 4 am. just grumpy.

my new computer mouse that i got with CA this weekend at TJ! isn't it ADORBS!?!?!? i'm obsessed.

angry birds

skirt: Richard Chai for Targ, embellished tee: Ann Taylor Loft, tights: Targ, belt: Gap, boots: BCBG

this pic is at an awkard angle. JJ was mad at me this morning for making him go outside in his shorts with the lobsters on them and pirate socks--but sans shirt. hahahha i tried to take a picture of him but he wouldn't let me. it was a funny little sight. i like the way the sky is peeking into the picture.

and guess what? I'M WEARING A REAL, LIVE BRA IN THIS PIC. amazing. but my boobs look weird i think. like two awkward random lumps that just are hanging out there. whatever. bras are so uncomf. i like training bras from american apparel so much better. 

i sent a package to M, S and Baby P today. they love nothing more than angry birds. you know angry birds. the infamous iPhone app?? c'mon. if you don't know, then i might punch you. well i found these angry bird plush toys on amazon. LOL i got one for each of them and they're hilar. like really hilar. so i mailed them today and i can't wait until they open them. i'm such a good ex-nanny, aren't i? i miss those little nuggets everyday. which is why i love technology because i can facetime with them on their mom CP's phone. 

i'm going to target on my lunch break to get bananagrams. i'm going to make JJ play with me. my mom, CA, CA's boyfriend N-dogg played bananagrams this weekend at home and it's SO FUN and SO ADDICTING and SHUT UP MOM "TAH" IS A WORD I WIN.....okay FINEEEE actually i lose. it's an acronym...see below:


"TAH: total abdominal hysterectomy."

sigh. i hate to lose.

ps i read A Reliable Wife on the plane rides. GREAT BOOK. so juicy. and i blushed a few times bc it was sexual. but great story. i dove right in and didn't ever want to stop reading it!

monday exhaustion

black jeggings: Targ, top: Steve Madden, faux leather jacket: Forevs21, elephant rainboots: j.crew

here's why i didn't blog yesterday:

i was so tired i could die.

there was a storm in the Cucamongross when my plane was trying to land on sunday night. i was supposed to land at 11:30. i didn't land until 12:30. the plane circled and circled and tried to land. but it couldn't. i thought the pilot was going to turn the plane around. but there were 15 soldiers on my plane who hadn't been home from Iraq in a year, so the pilot sucked it up and landed us. and everyone clapped for the soldiers. it was nice. then i had to wait for the stupid shuttle bus to take me to the stupid economy parking lot WHICH IS TOTALLY NOT WORTH THE $3 savings. and got to my car and drove home. i had been up for 21 hours THAT'S TWENTY-ONE HOURS YOU GUYSSSSS when i finally fell into bed, delirious and crying from my long day. wanting nothing more than sleep. and JJ said "L, i'm sorry, but you stink. like airport. can you please change?" aosdflkasdfajsdflkdsaflkjfas. 

yesterday i could hardly keep my eyes open. it was a hard day. and when i got home there was so much to do around the apartment. and i can't sleep when my apartment is a sty. so JJ and i did a quick clean and watched TV and passed out at 9. this morning i am sill tired, but at least motivated to keep my eyes open.

AND i have friday off. because of Cesar Chavez. thank you Cesar Chavez.

i heart selah

pants: Lulu Lemon, sweatshirt: Roxy, hat: re-discovered in my old room, sparkle Ugg, sunglasses: Gucci

are you looking at this picture thinking "WHAT?!" well here's why: my mom and i planned an impromptu surprise trip home to Selah for my sister M's grad party! woohoo! i left work on Friday at 4 and hopped on the plane with a weekend bag and a smile. and yes DUH i ate Qdoba in the Alaska terminal in Seattle. my mom came to pick me up from the airport with my sister's dog as her decoy in the car and it was so fun to waltz into the house and freak my dad and sister CA out. it was even more fun to hide in the closet and jump out and scare the poop right out of sister MM when she got home later that night. 

it was just so much fun. and i slept in my high school bedroom. and Chanel snuggled with her birth mother (that's what i call myself to her. and MM is her adoptive mother. although now that i'm typing it, i see that something's wrong with the picture of me being Chanel the cat's birth mother...) anyway, this pic was taken on Saturday. it was a grunge day while me and CA went shopping all around town...trying to find a gift for M at her party. we also picked up a few things for ourselves...he he he. the party for M was also a surprise and that was so fun to see the look on her face. obviously i picked out M's outfit because i wanted her to not show up in jeans to the party at the country club. she looked and the party was a success. and i ate the best salmon ever for dinner.
on Sunday we woke up at the devil's hour (4:30) to drive to Tacoma for MM's volleyball tournament that M coaches. i decided to stay awake in the car instead of sleep so i could talk and hang out with my parents. then i had to watch volleyball until noon when KKiss picked me up and took me to a sandwich shop for lunch. then i went to her brand new townhouse that she just bought and we drank wine and did her taxes. we met back up with my family to have dinner but everywhere was closed---so i said goodbye to KKiss and headed to the airport. and teared a little when i had to say goodbye to abruptly to my parents and sisters. saddddddd.

i love going home. i forget how much i love lazy ol Selah until i come back.  love you Selah.

Friday, March 18, 2011


 pants: Ross/gift from Rah's Mommy, tee: Target, leather jacket: Hollister, mary janes: Target

some things about this picture:

1. i picked out these jeans and Rah's Mom bought them for me in Vegas as a "congratulations on getting a job" present. isn't she the sweetest? i love them. they're a cool wash and just look adorable on. hilar fact: i got them in the junior's section. the brand? "boom boom jeans" LOLOL

2. i'm obsessed with that leather jacket because it has a hood. i have to hand it to Hollister--best leather jacket award. srsly. 

3. it looks like that shirt is a belly shirt. it's not. it was all tucked up into itself.

4. those three little stains on the stair below me?  my fat husband spilled sauce from chick-fil-a A MONTH AGO. he noticed the stains this morning and said, "well that just goes to show you how horrible that sauce must be for your body if it literally stained the cement." word.

5. red lipstick day! yeeee! i'm wearing it today to exude confidence and power. and i think it's working.

6. FEATHERS IN MY HAIRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!! my friend Nel and i went to get feathers in our hair last night!!! we wanted like 40 more. we're obsessed with them now. here's a close-up:

apparently they're really popular because Steven Tyler wears them on American Idol. i just like them because a. they look like Ke$ha and b. because they're wild. i feel about 30x cooler. 

i ate nachos last night for dinner and we watched the zags kick ass. BRING IT ON BYU YOU'RE NEXT!!! gonzaga's gonna win the whole tournament and i'm gonna win a million dollars. can't wait. 

is it hard for you to swallow carrots? like do they get stuck in your throat? no just me? okay.


PS all the money you spend at today goes to JAPAN. srsly. how awesome is that?! START SHOPPING NOW

Thursday, March 17, 2011


skirt: Trouve, top: XOXO, tube top: Wet Seal, sweater: Zac Posen for Targ, shoes: ASOS/gift from Moon, necklace: Targs


that's the only green shirt i have. i hate green. but i do like this shirt. i wear it every year. don't i look evil/mischievous/up to no good? it's my leprechaun face. when i was little my Dad and i made a leprechaun trap. the next morning there was gold glitter all over the trap and a few golden coins--but alas, no leprechaun. 

did you know that i can riverdance? it's true. i even have a green velvet dress with gold trim and high heel tap shoes. our whole dance class learned how in high school. i kind of wish i would have worn those tap shoes to work so that i could bring a little bit o' joy to people's day.

i made my march madness bracket this morning. i just randomly pick. and i put UW and Gonzaga in the final championship game. and JJ was like "c'mon L, that's not real, you want to try and be realistic" and i said SHUT UP IT'S MY BRACKET I WILL DO WITH IT WHAT I WISH! and then i called my Dad and told him and he said "L, that's not real! it's not going to happen" SHUT UP I DON'T CARE! IT'S MY BRACKET!!!!! why is everyone obsessing over MY BRACKET?! i can do whatever i want. 

also this morning, i used dry shampoo. and JJ stood behind me and said, "WOW L, your hair actually smells good for once!" just please.

my coworker made shortbread cookies for me. she told me there's 3 sticks of butter in them. i'm srsly gonna start gaining mad poundage.

also i'm getting something very exciting done to myself today!!!! eeeee! wait til you guys see it tmrw.  (no, it's not a skull tattoo don't worry ghoddddd)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Glee & balls

blue cords: Gap, blouse: Forev21, sweater: gift, shoes: Vera Wang for Kohl's, hair flower: Ross, sunglasses: Gucci

omg do you guys see that mushroom growing next to my plant?!?!? crazy. and did you get a load of that toilet paper roll that we keep outdoors?? it's quite handy.

har har har. i'm so funny i can hardly stand it. 

this morning i filled up my water bottle and took the first drink. and it sloshed out of my mouth and onto my crotch. so now it looks like i peed myself. i need a bottle with a rubber nipple like a baby. 

last night i got a wild hair up my bum and decided to make dinner! i did, i did, i REALLY did! shrimp pasta, check it out:
doesn't that just look completely yummers?!!? it was.

also last night, during Glee to be exact, my husband decided to be worried about the mole on his shoulder. and started freaking out that he had cancer. then it somehow switched to ball cancer. which he googled. and convinced himself that he had. so he had a panic attack during NEW DIRECTIONS' PERFORMANCE AT REGIONALS AND I'M ALL "DUDE, I DON'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR BALLS RIGHT NOW. AS LONG AS THEY CAN MAKE ME SOME BABIES SOMEDAY THEN I'M GOOD." to which he replied, "OMG L, WHAT IF I CAN'T GIVE YOU BABIES?!?!" and i said "THEN WE'LL ADOPT CHINESE BABIES AND NAME THEM PING AND LING HANSEN. NOW GET THE FUDGE OUT OF MY WAYYYYY AND LET ME WATCH GLEEEE" so he mumbled "you'll be sorry that you chose Glee over me when i have ball cancer." sheesh. DRAMA QUEEN. i think his freak out sesh may have had something to do with the cup of coffee he had at 6 p.m. like, c'mon man. calm yourself.

also, i'm so sick of cyberbullying. kids need to understand that it's life-ruining and in some cases life-threatening. BE NICE. even Taylor agrees.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

What's on L's Phone?

 we got a REPORT CARD from Ruff House (Cleo's pet resort) about her behavior. she got stars and hearts and plays nice with all the other doggies. what a proud DMWNW (dog mom who needs wine) i am. but she likes people the most. he he he. she's so adorbs. i love her.

this was literally at 6:30 p.m. out cold for the night. with his work socks still on. laying selfishly horizontal.

my orchid in its second week. i mean could it be ANY MORE dead? 

all i want in life is to be this comfortable. 

space mountain with JJ, Rah & Nebular. boyz wore their sunglasses "to make it darker on the ride." douches.

Cleo loves houseguests. and she is especially obsessed with Rah. i called her name like 73 times and she would not come. she wanted to sleep with Rah. this picture makes it look like we gave our guests a piece of cardboard with a sheet to sleep on. but i SWEAR it's a cozy set-up. the air mattress fits just perfectly in that one spot. come visit me and see for yourself.

this is my Lisa Frank mermaid notepad. that i've had forevz. i love it. it stays in my car and has only really important notes in it like: i heart freddie prinze jr! also, i really really want a denim fin and a shell phone.

my temporary keychain until i get my Tiffany one fixed. i actually do like it a lot. gets me in a pirate-y mood every morning. what's a pirate's favorite place to eat?? ARRRRRRRGGHHHBY'S! 

i always see crunched up dead snails on the sidewalks in our apartment complex. like, do people have no hearts?!?! they just walk along stepping on snails for pleasure??? i mean i can see it being an accident every ONCE in a while, but srsly. c'mon. i passed right by this little guy as i was running to my car (late) this morning. i stopped in my tracks and turned around. first i took this nice picture of him. then i thought to myself "SELF, YOU CAN START YOUR DAY OFF ON THE RIGHT FOOT BY DOING SOMETHING GOOD!!! so i made it my mission to get this little feller safely to the grass. so i grabbed him by the shell. but he was firmly stuck to the ground. so i tugged a little harder. and his shell just came off. and he writhed around lookin reallll pissed. and then he stopped moving. and then he died. so i put his shell on top of him so at least he wouldn't be naked. 

but SRSLY, i try to do ONE nice thing and i end up killing a snail. bargghhh!!!
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...