Friday, April 29, 2011

royally fun!

dress: Converse for Target, belt: Gap, heels/headband: Ross

were you all up early this morning to watch the royal wedding?? i totally was! as you can see from the picture below! tee hee. and i dressed totally british today, it was fun! i went to vietnamese food for lunch and the waiter said "were you at wedding today?" hahaha ok now, down to the details...

the dress. OH, the dress. what did you think? here's my two cents: i thought it was boring and safe. i mean, it was beautiful, EVERYTHING from house of alexander mcqueen is beautiful--DUH. but it looked exactly like Grace Kelly's dress. only Grace Kelly looked better. i expected something more dramatic and fashion forward. tsk tsk Kate. i was disappointed. boo.

well HOW ABOUT PIPPA?!?! ANYONE?!?! holy SHIT she looked hotttt! i think she outshined the bride in that GORGEOUS gown that clung to her body beautifully. she's totally hooking up with harry tonight. OMG HOW ADORABLE IS HARRY?!

posh and becks were gorg. as usual. 

and HOW ABOUT THAT HAT behind the queen?!?! LOLOLOL it was a pink monstrosity!

it was so fun to drink mimosas and wear my fun headband and annoy JJ with my squeals of delight.

ON TO STAGECOACH TONIGHT!  have a great weekend, my loves.


will & kate


Thursday, April 28, 2011

wal-mart & ebay

dress: Target, tee: eight-sixty, boots: BCBG

i have two confessions:

1. i went to wal-mart last night. (CRINGE!!) but they had the cheapest camping chairs for this weekend. i got one blue one and one pink one! how cute. i also got a can of my fave suave dry shampoo. target shoppers have caught on to the secret of its magic. so they're always sold out. but obviously people of wal-mart  do not have a need for dry shampoo--they let the grease show loud and proud. so their shelf was bountiful with dry shampoos! SCORE! 

2. rmbr when i said i would never shop on ebay again? after freshman year in college when i ordered a "juicy" purse? and it came 4 months after i ordered it. and it was so fake. i went to complain to ebay and the seller was deleted. gone. vanished and banned from ebay. and i never got my money back. stupid, stupid purse. well i just broke my one cardinal rule of DO NOT EVER SHOP AT EBAY EVER AGAIN. and i'll tell you why. the other night i was at Sephora (on monday i went shopping with my friend/co-worker Bex...she is graduating from CGU this year and she wanted me to help her pick out an outfit for the big day! she also got a makeover at Sephora. totally fun and indulgent girl's night). ANYWAY, at Sephora i saw this girl. and she was wearing the. cutest. shorts. ever. in. life. and when i said "OHMYGAWDDDD WHERE DID YOU GET THOSE ADORABLE SHORTS?!?!?!" she said "they're frankie b. last season!" OF COURSE. explains why they are to-die-for. and OF COURSE they are last season. here they are:

MUST HAVES right? so i went online to hunt down these shorts. and they're sold out. everywhere. EVERYWHERE. like no one has them anymore. EXCEPT for ebay. but i neeed them. plus all my shorts are from abercrombie and hollister. isn't it time i got a pair of grown-up shorts?? YES. but these to die for shorts were listed as $99 on ebay. and not up for bidding. so i contacted the seller. see our message chain:

Dear authentic_shop2000
hi...i love these shorts. they are so cute! but they are from last there any way i could get them for any cheaper? just thought i would ask. thanks so much!

note: completely normal question right? and i asked so nicely. see authenic_asshole2000's response:

Dear lghansen00,

These are from the current 2011 Summer season, I have no idea where you get the last season information from.

The price is firm.
 little rude, right? i mean COME ON. i just asked. calm down. so i matched the rudeness with a little sauciness of my own:
Dear authentic_shop2000,

fair enough.

they had a pair very similar last season. sorry for the assumption.

perfect response, nice L. And here's where i think she realized that she was kind of being a little rude.

Dear lghansen00,


No, Frankie B makes many shorts each year, many in similar styles.

Let me know if you have any other questions,


like she's the effing frankie b expert or something...but, alas. i had to succumb. it's a summer treat to myself. a pair of NICE ADULT SHORTS.

 Dear authentic_shop2000,

well i decided to buy them. too cute to pass up. thanks.
- lghansen00 

and now she's forced to be nice to me since i'm now a buying customer. and the customer is always right. 

 Dear lghansen00

Thanks for your purchase, I will process the shipment for you. I will send you tracking number via paypal email shortly.

- authentic_shop2000  


 but seriously. she was kinda rude, yeah? so i pulled the trigger. i bought expensive shorts. don't tell JJ. i will let him assume they are from Ross. kthnx. with my luck i will probably get a box of catshit and this seller will magically disappear from ebay and i'll never get my money back. GAH! the things i deal with.

Thirsty Thursday at Quakes Stadium tonight! 

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

black & brown & greasy

dress: Converse for Targ, sweater: JCP, boots: Steve Madden

that sweater i bought like 4 years ago. Rah has the same one (don't you Rah?? or have you let it go to Goodwill??) we both agreed that it was the perfect all-season sweater: you can wear it in ALL the seasons. it's great in the cold with jeans and a long-sleeved top and perfect for warmer weather because of the little breathable holes! 

my mom always taught me never to wear brown and black together (EEK!) OR navy and black. also we weren't allowed to wear sweat pants to school. so the color rules were ingrained in my brain for the LONGEST time. but now i embrace it. it's fun. and it breaks up an all-black outfit. PLUS you look fashion forward when you mix those dark neutrals. however, plz don't wear brown and black and navy ALL together. that might be a bit of an overkill. ahhh!

also, JJ had the night off last night! i had to go to target to get supplies for this weekend (i.e. a 30-bomb of coors light and a tub of cheeseballs) so i picked up three ingredients for dinner: tortillas, cheese and a can of enchilada sauce. as i was putting the finished creation into the oven, i remembered my FATAL MISTAKE: GASP! NO SOUR CREAM! so i sent JJ out in a flash to get some. one can absolutely NOT eat cheese enchiladas without sour cream. not. okay. when he got back, dinner was ready:
does that not look like the most delicious plate of enchis that you've EVER seen in your LIFE?! i'm salivating just looking at them. and we both had them for lunch today! so great!

today i took a quick break from working to put on my lip balm. only when i rubbed my lips together it felt a little weird. it felt so greasy and awkward. i looked down:

i used sortkwik on my lips. SORTKWIK. it's that shit you put on your fingers to sort papers kwiker. (doesn't the harsh misspelling of "quick" make you embarrassed to be an American? i HATEEE that. like, it's not cute to misspell things you fools). anyway, so after i realized i used that stuff on my lips, i went to the bathroom to look in the mirror. and it looked like i made out with a tub of freshly fried tator tots. my whole mouth was a giant greaseball. nice, L. sometimes i can be such a doofus.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

not angela

skirt: Trouvé, blouse: Mac & Jac, shoes: Nine West

you'll never guess where i spent my lunch break. the dentist. I'M NOT EVEN GOING TO DISCUSS IT. 

but here's what i WILL discuss: my perverse desire to just put a vacation to the Bahamas on my credit card. hello kitty would be pissed. as would my husband. 

you guys i forgot to tell you a story. remember how i snuck Cleo into mass on Easter sunday?? well that's not the only exciting thing to happen at mass. JJ's sister C has a burn on her arm (she's a chef) and she accidentally scraped it on something and it re-opened and started bleeding everywhere. and she was wearing a white shirt. so i reached into my purse to grab a wet wipe. only Cleo was also in there. so i had to dig around her little ass and feel for the wet wipe. i hastily felt one or two and pulled my hand out rapidly to hand said wipe to her. except it wasn't just a wet wipe. it was also three panty liners. WHAT IS MY DEAL WITH THE PANTY LINERS LATELY?? srsly. and in CHURCH?!! c'mon L. the poor guy in front of me bent down to pick up my panty liners and handed them to me all red-faced and embarrassed. i'm such an ass.

also very ass-like: this weekend JJ was texting his brother R because he wasn't able to come to Arizona for Easter. R has a new girlfriend. whom everyone has met except me. i grabbed JJ's phone from him and said "HEY R! IT'S L! CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YA FOR MOTHER'S DAY YEEEE! AND TO MEET ANGELA! :)" and JJ shouted "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO L!" and snatched the phone from me before i sent it because guess what? her name isn't Angela. no, it's not. when will i grow a brain?

What's on L's Phone?!

What's on L's phone?!
you should play too! via Jessica

tapatio popcorn my coworker brought me today. YUMMM!

a staple in my diet this week for dinner. thanks eastermommybunny!

laying by the pool with Cleo in Arizona and my swan bikini. thanks again eastermommy(anddaddy)bunny

Cleo looks like an arrogant old rich human man in this pic haaahahaahahaaa. just hangin' out in her house on the way to AZ.

some days....this is SO true, eh? don't lie. it's true.

rmbr how i told you i was going to add pink ribbon to my shoes? how ca-ute are they now!??!

Cleo driving JJ's golf cart at work.

Nat King Cole wearing her new bathing suit from Aunt L & Uncle JJ. adorbs! wish it came in my size. 

shopping at Ross with Sam. she sent this pic to her fiance and said, "what do you think of this romper?" and he said, "hmmm no. it makes you look like a block. your figure."gahhh. men. i however, bought the romper in blue. haaaa. also, take note here of my hair part. OMG REALLY?!?! i wasn't going to shower on Easter morning...but this picture convinced me. how gross.

Monday, April 25, 2011

macaroni & popcorn

pants: Easter gift from Rah!, tank: Macy's, vest: TJ Maxx, shoes: madden girl, watch: Juicy Couture

BACK TO WORK MONDAY. weekends are so short aren't they?? i'm so grateful for weekends since i used to have to work every saturday and sunday. in fact, this is the first Easter in three years when i haven't had to work. on the drive back home last night i was laughing at the fact that we ate TACO BELL for dinner last year. then 2 hours later we actually stopped at TACO BELL for dinner....

last night we unpacked and cleaned and went to bed. and this morning we are at it again! JJ has a 4-game home stand starting tonight, so i shall be a lonely bone all week. macaroni and popcorn on the dinner menu. 

and STAGECOACH this weekend! in indio. we are sharing a big house for the weekend with JJ's coworkers and their spouses! so fun. drinking and country music and eating and sunbathing. sounds. AWESOME. cannot wait. even more thrilling is going to be planning my outfits. teehee! my really sweet coworker has offered to babysit Cleo while we are out of town. so Cle and my coworker's wiener dog will have an absolute blast romping around all weekend together.

also, i learned how to do DIY CHEETAH NAILS! from Gem check it out:

pretty sweet, eh?? you should totally try--SO EASY!

arizona easter


i didn't blog on friday. because i was being a big brat. like, colossal. as in, i stood in front of my closet in the morning and pulled literally EVERYTHING out of it while screaming. you could say that i was PMSing. JJ just stayed clear of my hate-ridden warpath. when i got home from work my mess was waiting for me and i had to clean it up before we left for arizona. and also i had to apologize to JJ. i did both and everything was peachy. and 10 minutes before we left, fedex dropped off an Easter package from my mommy and daddy. we both got new swimsuits (we always get new swimsuits!) and tonz of candy. i also got an electric toothbrush. i'm obsessed with it.

the ride to arizona was pleasant. we stopped to get sandwiches on the way and JJ got a turkey bacon avocado. except they forgot his turkey. he realized after we were back on the freeway, and then it was HIS turn to have PMS. i watched SLOTAT and Cleo slept in her house.

we got to JJ's sister E's house at 11:30 p.m. and the family was all standing in the road waving us in. and when we all got out for hugs and hellos, we could smell the wine emanating from their pores, it was hilarious. the next morning we went to the farmer's market, my niece Nat King Cole's dance class, the farm, Ross, lunch, grocery store and the pool. Sam came over for the pool and shopping and dinner. then we dyed eggs! JJ's sister C made dinner and we all ate and ate and ate and had DELICIOUS homemade ice cream from the farm. then we took a walk and went to bed.

 her: dress: Forever21, belt: Target, shoes: Target. him: shirt: TJ Maxx, jeans: 7 for all Mankind, sneakers: Converse

Easter morning we watched Nat King Cole hunt for eggs and open her Easter basket. then we all opened Easter baskets from the AnneBunny (JJ's mom). it was fun. then Sam came over and we went to church (and we snuck Cleo into mass he he he)

and then on to brunch! and then we had to go home and pack up and say goodbye. and back to Rancho we went.

the end.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

white jeans & ham

top: H&M, white jeans: TJ Maxx, shoes: Sperry top-siders, flower: Old Navy

last night i made JJ dinner. and so i brought it to him at work. along with the goodie bag for my "adoptive son." i thought it might be nice to bring the dog as well. we were walking into the stadium, and i was juggling the goodie bag and my purse and Cleo on her leash and JJ's hot dinner. it was 7 on the dot. game time. tons of people swarming around trying to get into the park. i cursed myself for the poor timing and then i felt a tug on the leash. Cleo had stopped to sniff. OHGODNO NOT HERE CLEO. the turn around three times signature move C'MON YOU WORTHLESS PUP NOT HEREEE NOT NOWWW tail up SONOFABITCH and the hugest poo you've ever seen come out of a 7-pound dog. right in the middle of the walkway into the stadium. i had to set down all of the things in my hand and dig around my purse to find a doggie poo bag. THANK GOD I HAD ONE SRSLY. and then i had to pick up her steaming pile of shit while she pranced around me flirting with strangers. thnx, bitch.

but JJ was grateful for a warm meal (penne carbonara with butter and parmesan and red pepper flakes, ((two stars for L)) and a La Croix). and he and his boss told me that the goodie bag i brought was filled with wonderful things and looked MUCH better than all the rest.

white jeans make me laugh. they're so stupid. rmbr that episode of the office where Michael packs his white jeans which he calls his "Fun Jeans" for the convention??? well i feel like he's right. white jeans ARE fun jeans. like maybe they have a little bit of magic in them. they're ready for a night on the town--ready to party! until you are eating a fudge stripe cookie and get chocolate smeared on the crotch of them (oops). 

also today i left my ceramic coffee cup and lid in the sink filled with soapy water to let it soak and get extra clean. when i went to rinse it out, there was a SOGGY PIECE OF HAM FLOATING AROUND IN MY CUP. you like thought i was EVER going to use that cup again. srsly homies, HAM!??!?!!? i hate everyone.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

bratz doll

 black corduroy pants: Jessica Simpson, top: Old Navy, shoes: gift from sister-in-law/Jessica Simpson

LOL at that second shot. i look handsome, no? you get cell phone pics of me all curled up where i kind of look like a bratz today. because i was in a foul mood during outfit pics this morning. and apparently foul mood=triple chins. i was in a foul mood because i was sleeping last night when JJ stormed into the apartment and rushed to turn on the TV. to watch the Kings game. a game in which the Kings were losing. so JJ was SCREAMING at the television. and i wanted to punch him. instead i woke up on the wrong side of the bed. and to prove my point said, "I DON'T WANT COFFEE THAT YOU MADE THIS MORNING" which, in hindsight, was a stupid mistake. because i don't know how to work the damn coffee machine. so i didn't get any coffee this morning. and during outfit pictures i just couldn't be in a good mood. 

but then today at lunch my coworkers and i went to shogun. and it was delish. and i told JJ that i was truly very sorry that the Kings lost. and then i was in quite a wonderful mood. i love these shoes. my sister-in-law S gave bought them for me. they are like old man house slippers. i love them. tonight i'm going to put big fat pink ribbon in the laces so they are conflicted. like they can't decide if they are women's shoes or men's shoes.

so i "adopted" a Quakes player with Nel. which means we have to make him a scrapbook at the end of the year and make him little goodie baskets full of snacks and things every time he goes on the road. all the other "adoptive moms" are crazy old booster club ladies. we thought it might be a bit funny if we put condoms, booze and playboys in his goodie basket. and also we wanted to get t-shirts that said #27's MILF. but we aren't allowed. so i ran around creating this fudging basket yesterday. and like, i don't know what to get him! i don't even know him! so i just got: gatorade and water and bread and peanut butter and jelly and easter cakes and easter candy and fruit cups and gum. and also a pair of socks (??) isn't that the most random selection of items? but srsly, what do you buy a 24-year-old baseball player? (yeah, that's another weird thing. he's MY age. i'm totes not old enough to be his "mother"). i also wrote him a note and attached it to his goodie basket that says "JM- good luck. hope to meet you soon, after a game. have fun on the road. love, L & Nel" THAT IS THE MOST AWKWARD NOTE I'VE EVER WRITTEN IN LIFE. and that was like, the third draft. the first ones were even stiffer and stupider. he's going to think we're total lunatics. which, i suppose, wouldn't be too far off...

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

the pictures of me and brandilyn

me, i am wearing: romper: Urban, cardi: Target, sandals: Gap, hat: Forever21

here are the CUTESIE pics i stole from Brandilyn! wheeee!! don't we just look like the oldest of friends?!


skirt: JCP, top: Anna Sui for Target, tights: stolen from Mother-in-law, shoes: Issac Mizrahi for Target

i felt that Cleo was extra sad for me to leave her today. so i let her snuggle with me in the outfit picture. she is so so so cute. except i gave her a haircut and trimmed her ear hair a tad too short so she kind of looks a little nerdy. 

so last night's "date night" consisted of togos for dinner. that's it. we WERE supposed to watch a movie or Mad Men and have popcorn and popsicles. but NO. THERE WAS HOCKEY AND THE DODGERS ON TELEVISION. it was so annoying. i was all "I HATE YOUR STUPID SPORTS I'M GOING TO BED SINCE YOU DON'T REALLY LIKE ME." then he felt a little bad. but still. why are sports seriously ALL-YEAR ROUND?!?! they are ALL-CONSUMING. i. hate. them. 

right when we were settling in to go to sleep, Cleo decided it would be a good time to eat dinner. so she jumped off the bed and garbled up her granny's-pot-pie-flavored food. she came back onto the bed, burped in our faces and went to sleep. i was like "ARRRGHHHH CLEO OMGGGG YOUR BREATH SMELLS LITERALLY LIKE GRANNY'S POT PIE EWWWW" and then JJ leaned in to give me a kiss goodnight and i was like "EWWWW OMG JJ YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE GRANNY'S POT PIE TOO!!! WHAT THE HELL DUDE?!?!" and he got very defensive and jumped out of bed and yelled at me, "OH YEAH?! WELL YOUR BREATH SMELLS LIKE GRANNY'S DEPENDS!" 


what's on L's phone?!

What's on L's phone?!
you should play too! via Jessica

i gave Cleo a haircut. her ears are a liiiiiiittle too short. whoops! also, note her stance. she is the perfect ballerina, standing in first position. 

the temp on my way home from the ghetto on saturday. hotttttttt. i burned my legs on my leather seats. 

best thing ever in life: grilled cheese with everything from in n out

me & Nel at the Quakes game. what are we looking at? hahahaaa


RAH'S NECKLACE!!! she finally got it!!! :)

that. is. horrid. i mean can you imagine a LESS ideal situation??! 69 children?!?!

Cleo loves popsicles. check out that crazy eye.

this is hilarious: everyone in JJ's family seems to think that is his email address. except it's not. IT'S SO NOT HIS E-MAIL ADDRESS. we tell them, they forget to change it. so this poor j hansen keeps getting our crazy family email chains. the last time his sister sent an email i ran my cursor over jhansen4 and his picture popped up. AND IT IS SOOO CLEARLY NOT JJ. HAHAHAHAHAH i died laughing and hit "reply all" to the email to point out the hilarity. i said "OMG YOU GUYS THAT ISN'T JJ'S EMAIL ADDRESS!! LOOK AT HIS PICTURE--DEFINITELY NOT HIM HAHAHAHAHAHHA" and his sister replied, "you DO know that the wrong jhansen is reading this right now..." LOL so i sent one final farewell email to jhansen4 and said "so sorry, i didn't want to be mean, just wanted to point out that yours is NOT the email address they are looking for. you will no longer get any emails from us." no response. poor guy. just right in the middle of our giant hilarious debacle. 


 a very sweet card from my very sweet coworker :)
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