Tuesday, June 28, 2011

peanut butter treats

skirt/bracelets: F21, tee/sandals: Target, watch: Urban Outfitters

my sister's wedding is this weekend. and today is like a MAD DASH to get shit done. i'm staying in Washington for a week extra so i will be missing six days of work. I CANNOT WAIT! but i have a lot to do in order to get myself organized. ahhhh! so WHAT am i doing blogging at 8:30 p.m. while neglecting my duties!?!? gahhhH!!! Cleo is going to my coworker Susie's tomorrow so she can play with wiener dog Sammy and have the time of her life. i leave tomorrow at 5:25 p.m. and JJ leaves thursday at 5 p.m. i am working on my Maid of Honor speech and let me tell you--it rocks. 
tonight we went out for sushi. yummers. and when we got home JJ walked over to my vanity and said "OH YUM! WHERE DID YOU GET THESE PEANUT BUTTER TREATS?!" i stared at him......................he said, "oh fudge, those are dog treats." he was so disheartened it was almost sad. but it was more funny than sad. i laughed and pointed my finger at him.

akjlsdfjlkasdf i'm so scatterbrained, forgive me. happy tuesday fools.

what's on L's phone?!

 Cleo is so spoiled. and she never ruins any of her toys. most dogs rip apart a stuffed animal until the squeaker is found. not Cleo. she will nibble and suck on her toys, but never fully chew. when we pour out her toy basket like this she doesn't know what to do. she is beside herself with glee. she picks one up, runs a lap, picks another, runs a lap, etc. etc. it's so cute i could die.


but then JJ went to Target and bought me a bigger and better rack for my dresses.

 Cleo looks hilar snuggling on JJ's suit.

bruised knees. from banging them on the railing in front of us at Britney. 

Nel found this at the hotel. it's a cassette. that reads "an affair to remember 5-24-92" LOLOLOL

it's Britney bitch. me and Nel.

the disgustingly creepy random tile in our shower. like, what? WHAT IS THAT?!?! a cartoon sleepy boy child carrying around his teddy. alsdfljsdfaal;dfsd 

 and that was the hole above our bed. we totally booked our hotel last-minute on hotwire and it was a GHETTO ramada inn. and we thought that was a peep-hole. we had to look into it to double check. it was just a regular hole in the wall, THANK GOD.

pink cookie.

i was sitting at my desk. and i just happened to look down. and saw this. HOLY F HOW LONG WAS MY BELLY HANGING OUT?!?!?! you'd think i'd have felt the breeze...


Cleo keeping watch.

 my new stiletto tape dispenser :)

b spears. fabulous. 80s perm hair and all.

Miss Foxy Cleopatra munchin on a fake melon.

Monday, June 27, 2011

flip flops SUCK

dress: Simply Vera Wang for Kohl's, cardigan/heels: Target, belt: Express

Cleo is the best. she was sitting patiently at the door staring at me with her sweet brown eyes and her cocked head waiting for me to call her. so i did. and she ran right to me and then we snuggled.

VOTE VOTE VOTE on my poll to the right. and i finally got a blog email. so you can send me private love notes and hate mail, k? also SOUR GUMMI WORMS RULE, i'm glad the majority of my readers agree.

you want to know something about me? i hate, like HATE hate ABHOR flip flops. i absolutely cannot wear them. i think they are hideous and i can't stand them smacking the bottoms of my feet when i'm walking. that being said, i own a pair of Rainbows. my sisters bought them for me for my birthday one year. and each summer i look at them and i just want to give them a try. like really just put them on and have a walk. AND EVERY YEAR I REGRET IT. and here's why:

they're so dumb! my feet don't even go all the way in. they just slip off. stupid, stupid shoes. they're just so worthless. JJ and i took Cleo on a short jaunt to the gas station to get milk (what?) and i wore these flip flops. about halfway into into the walk i hated my life. the stupid shoes were so uncomfortable and kept slapping my heels and were just all around annoying. so i stopped cold and whined to JJ about my dumb shoes. i demanded that he carry me the rest of the way to the gas station and back. he didn't. how rude.

anyway, we got home and i did what i should have done years ago (sorry sisters):

  good riddance you assholes.

also, JJ just farted into the fan and it blew right in my face. then he laughed. my life is just bliss.

Saturday, June 25, 2011


 jeans: F21, blouse: F21, top: Nordstrom, shoes: Old Navy

i wrote this yesterday:

friday! wheee! i love friday. and i especially love fridays when i leave work early to go to the Britney Spears concert with Nel on a whim.

my work has a water dispenser. and every couple of weeks the water guy comes and replaces our empty jugs of water with new ones. he's a nice enough guy. always says "hello" and such. but today something happened that made me not really like him all that much anymore.

he walked into our bathroom while talking on his phone (i'm sitting in the office that shares a wall with the men's room). i heard him pee while ON THE PHONE. then....he flushed. and he just walked out. OMFG YOU GUYS HE DID NOT WASH HIS HANDSSSSSSSSSSSS EWEEWWEEWWWWWW GRODY GRODY GRODY GRODY. i'm seriously going to barf. then he walked back with the new jugs of water and got his pee/weenie germs all over them. because let's be honest, men have to hold their weenies while they pee. he literally went in there and held his weenie with his own hand and didn't wash it then touched our water jugs. and his hands and phone must be teeming with pee/weenie germs! isn't that gross? i IMed my coworker Marshy and she was all "omg i'm dying. GROSS!" what is wrong with people? honestly.

your lesson for today is: wash your hands after you go tinkle or poopoo. ghodddddddd. didn't we all learn that in preschool?

Thursday, June 23, 2011

b spears!

pants: Abercrombie, top: Hollister, jacket: American Eagle, belt: J.Crew, shoes: Zara

this is High School L, you know, with all the abercrombie and hollister and american eagle. i didn't even mean to do it. i just felt like being preppy today. 

tonight Nel and i made dinner. well, she made dinner and i drank the wine. she made a polenta bake. i have never before had polenta. it's delish! after we ate dinner we were chatting and then we...BOUGHT TIX TO BRITNEY SPEARS TMRW NIGHT AND A HOTEL ROOM OMG! aren't we so hip? fly by the seat of our pants hip? so cool.

after dinner we went to the Quakes game and brought the men dinner. we sat next to a man who had a neck piercing. and his friend literally had not washed his jorts since 2001. sooooooo, yeah. gross. after the game we ran into our adoptive team son. and i was just totally and completely awk. i said "WELL HELLO THERE J MIKE!" like we were old friends. his name is john michael. j mike is his nickname. he looked at my like i was a cleat-chaser. then i shoved my face in his face and was all "HELLO! we, me and Nel, are your team Mothers! oh and OMFG DO YOU LIKE OUR WEIRD GIFTS?!!?" and he grimaced and said, "oh yeah--i played horse shoes on the last road trip, thanks." (what? nothing about the socks or the deck of cards or the dumb & dumber dvd or the tony the tiger tee?!?!?!) it was such an unnecessarily long and awkward exchange. and i had my hair in a pony and i was wearing a backpack and long shorts and converse and a Quakes sweatshirt. so basically i looked 14. and Nel looked 14 and a half. we lose. sigh. 

it's weekend time tomorrow! yeee!

oh and one more thing...


Wednesday, June 22, 2011

i'm gonna eat this with my mouth

best thing i've everrrrrr watched LOLOLOLOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

the 82 dollar makeup run

pants: Abercrombie, top: Gap, heels: Jessica Simpson, sunglasses: Target, necklace/bracelets: F21

last night Nel and i partook in a happy hour at Lucille's. that's one vegetarian and one vagitarian dining out at a barbeque joint. hahahh we got big beers and cheese fries and onion straws and spinach artichoke dip. it was delightful. then we went shopping at The Vic. where i proceeded to spend $82 on makeup. 

let me begin. Nel asked me what shade of bare minerals i was. i said "medium." she said, "OH NO! that's what the girl at sephora matched me to as well! except i went into the bare minerals store and they said that NO ONE, literally no one is a medium. you need to go in there to have them match your skin to the right shade." 

TURNS OUT I WAS USING A SHADE FIT FOR A LATINA! so basically my makeup just looked shitty everyday ever since i got bare minerals. i was the girl with the orange face and the white neck. SONOFABITCH. SO, the girl matched me. to Fairly Light (me and Eward Cullen wear the same shade). and it's so so light. so light. the proper shade. so she put it on my whole face. and then she put sparkly mineral veil on top of that. and then she put on a shimmer blush in a shade called Vintage Peach (could you die at that name?) and i looked in the mirror and was all "HOT DAMN WHO IS THAT BABE?!?!" i looked like a forest fairy nymph. i'm not even kidding. so i said, "I'LL TAKE IT ALLLL!!!!" and then Nel made me get shampoo for my brushes. apparently it's gross not to wash them, like, ever. pshhh! (but srsly you guys, Nel was right. because i washed them last night and this morning it was like putting makeup on with a rabbit's tail. i'm not joking. SO SO EFFING SOFT). 

and that's how i spent $82 on makeup last night.

*note: last night i also converted Nel to Gap undies! that's going to be my poll next week--"have i converted you to Gap undies??" if i haven't, you are missing out on life's greatest luxury.

my pieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

last night i got home from work and JJ said, "look what i did! i cleaned out the fridge!" and so i went into the kitchen and opened the fridge and found this:

isn't he the best?

and then we pie'd. (i'm so much of a lame cheeseball i could die)

chocolate cream! i heart JJ.

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

what's on L's phone?!

my new Targ sunglasses. they're sort of cat-eye-ish. and they were only $12.

Cle & Me at bark in the park last week. 

my $14.99 white horse black blanket outlet (or whatever that store is called) purchase. actually, JJ's mom bought them for me. i love em! i really do think a mary jane is the sexiest kind of shoe.


so i have this Fashion in the 21st century day-by-day calendar and this was Friday's little gem. i mean would you look at the package on this guy?! SHEESH!

a shot of my new backpack. i didn't realize until i sent it to Nel that i wasn't wearing any pants.

my sexiest underpants. 

did you know Nel and i have matching tattoos? since i got mine, i know three people that copied me. aren't i such a trendsetter?! 

OMG! JJ and i are totally the promotional couple in the new Coeur d'Alene Resort wedding brochures! we feel like stars. 

my two faves snugglin'

that is Nel's old man dog Coco. see him eyeing my hand like it's a piece of meat? JK he is completely in love with me now.

 we went to JJ's parents' house for Father's Day. we went to diner at the Country Club. before we left, JJ said, "we will just put Cleo in the laundry room." i said, "OH NO WAY DUDE, she'll tear that shit up!" and he was like "no she won't it's fine." i was all "YES SHE WILL JJ OMFG SHE HAS ANXIETY! she'll totally freak out. let's just leave her in the car, parked in the shade with the windows cracked." JJ said, "no, it's FINE." and JJ's Dad said, "it's fine, if she scratches the door, we'll just repaint it." and his Mom said, "really it's fine, what could she possibly do?" and i said, "OK, well if she wreaks havoc, it's on YOU GUYS." well, we got home an hour and a half later to a giant pile of barf and this. THIS. torn up molding. shredded molding actually. IS THAT REAL?! YES, BECAUSE I TOLD THEM SOOOO. i made JJ clean up the mess. and then i scolded the dumb dog. and his Mom and sister Claude (normal Cleo abstainers) said, "OOOOOHHHH DON'T YELL AT THE POOR BABY DOGGIE, SHE HAD ANXIETY AND WAS SCARED, POOOOOR LITTLE CLEO, COME HERE YOU SWEET SWEET DARLING DOGGIE." what? NOW you like her? now that she's torn up your laundry room? christ.

 JJ's Mom babying Cleo after i yelled at her.

JJ's sister Claude babying Cleo after i yelled at her. (this is the first time Claude has ever even acknowledged her, let alone pick her up! LOL)

melted boots

 dress: i heart ronson @ JCP, vest: matty m, belt: Gap, boots: MIA, socks: Kate Spade

today i got to work and was all weirded out because there were NO cars on the street. i was like OMG did i miss an office memo that today is a holiday?! no such luck, in fact the street was bring re-paved. so i had to park like half a block away and WALK. ugh, rude.

anyway, i have been completely addicted to Target's Archer Farm brand feta and roasted red pepper dip. OMG HOLY F IT'S DELICIOUS! and i dip Archer Farms blue corn with flaxseeds tortilla chips in it. like i said, addicted. and totally healthy because of the flaxseeds, right? so last night i sadly realized we ran out at home (side note: JJ caught me licking the sides of the empty container. DAMMIT) so today at lunch i popped on over to Targie to get some more. and HEY! whaddya know, they had cold single diet dr. peppers in the check-out aisle. score! so then i drove back to work and sat in my car hunched over the chips and dip, shoveling them into my mouth while reading my book. i don't like to read my book in my office on lunch because then people come back and want to chat. i like the peace and quiet and warmth and familiarity of my bumper-less Volv. to me, that really is the perfect lunch break.

but alas, the perfection had to end at some point. so i walked back to my office after lunch, side-stepping the newly re-paved street. i felt something on the bottom of my boot. "oh nuts," i thought, "i have stepped in gum." so i got to my office and sat down with a paperclip to pick off the gum. nope, NOPE, not gum. in fact, MUCH WORSE THAN GUM. it was hot concrete sizzling and steaming, burning its way through the sole of my fudging boot. lsakdjflsajkdflkjasdf COME ONNNNNN, this cannot CANNOT be the end to my perfect lunch break. but it was.
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