Thursday, July 28, 2011


i'm 98% awkward in this vid. but OMG i am still dying at my own joke. ha ha ha haaaaa "but really i must dash..." get it? get it? mus-tache...hahahhaa

The Party Shirt

pants: J Brand, tee: Wildfox, gold bracelets: F21, watch: Timex, bracelet on my right hand: Anthropologie/bday gift from KKiss

i love my birthday bracelet from KKiss. so so cute. and this tshirt is fabulous! my cousin's gf Lex has the same one! she works in downtown Seattle's boutique Sway & Cake, where the shirt is from. isn't it the BEST SHIRT EVER?! we call it The Party Shirt. it always promotes a good time. 

today was a good day at work. we had a farewell lunch at olive jardin for one of my coworkers and pie. WHO DOESN'T LOVE PIE?!

oh and also, MY BIRTHDAY IS TOMORROW. i love love love LOVE my birthday. i cannot wait to celebrate all day. also i have an interview for a permanent position at my work. fings crossed for me plz! kthnx. tomorrow night we are driving to JJ's parents' house and on saturday morning we are leaving first thing in the morning to go to Santa Barbara for a night and then back to JJ's parents' house on sunday to have a birthday party just for me! i'm so excited teeheeeee

also i found this website that makes me peeeeeeeee with delight. my personal favorite is Rat Bastard. such a wonderful, underrated and underused term. hahhahahahahhhhh


dress: Gap, belt: from Sissy M's wedding!, shoes: Ross

last night me, JJ, my friend Angel, and JJ's friend Pharmacist went to the dodger game. OF COURSE we went to little tokoyo for sushi and mochi beforehand. it was fun! except i was SO unlucky...

 it's always been a dream of mine to get on the jumbotron. ALWAYS. i just want to be on the screen once in life. it would thrill me beyond belief. and if i got to choose, i would choose the kissing cam. because i think it's adorable. well, last night we got to our seats and there were 4 little shit teenagers in them. instead of making them move, JJ just said we'd sit right behind them. fine. whatever. NO NOT FINE. WANT TO KNOW WHY!?!?! BECAUSE THE CAMERA MAN PUT THE TWO TEENS IN MINE AND JJ'S SEATS ON THE KISSING CAM JUMBOTRON. THAT'S REAL. thunder stolen. dreams crushed. and i waved and waved and said, "hey guy! do me and him! puhleeeeeaseeeee!" and he looked me in the eye and then he walked away. and that was it. those asshole teens who sat in our seats stole my spotlight. MY chance at stardom. MY dream. and on MY birthday week. 

i left dodger stadium with a heavy heart last night.  

Tuesday, July 26, 2011


skirt: Gap, tee: Converse, belt: Target, scarf: Wet Seal

okay. so you know how you get friend requests from people from high school or whatever and you just leave them pending in your friend request box?? you're like, ummm i don't like you, we aren't going to be FB friends but i don't want you to keep asking me 3,000 times to be my i will just leave you pending. am i right? (by the WAY, i have to accept every single person from high school. because I AM THE CLASS HISTORIAN OF SHS 2004. that's real. it's MY job to plan the reunion. just please)...

ANYWAY, so the pending friend requests. there's a guy at my work who i thought might be a friendly pal. grounds for a facebook friendship perhaps. well, that's what i thought at least. because i friended him 10 days ago and it still says "pending."

and i ran into him at the office watering hole this morning and i got all awkward. because like, come on. please. i'm just trying to be a nice person here. i just want to be your FB friend. it's not like i want to go shoe shopping with your mother. 

needless to say, my ego is a little bit bruised. i want to rescind my request so it can just be over. wahhh.

to cure my FB pending friendship woes, Rah, Sand and i had our first skype book club meeting. the three-way video was a sad, sad clusterfudge---but the conference chat room (with a bud light lime or two) was QUITE successful. we discussed the characters and the symbolism and the (lack of) plot. long-distance book clubs are so much fun. you can chat about the books from the comfort of your own home in your underpants. what could be better??

What's on L's Phone?!

JJ's gangrene leg. bulghhhh. ok. so here's the story: he was playing in a staff baseball game and slid into third wearing shorts. slkadfjlaskjf and got that nasty scrape. well three days later his ankle started swelling badly and it was all hot to the touch. BARF. omg. so we went to urgent care where they said it was infected. of course. so he had to get a tetanus shot and antibiotics and pain medication and then we went to walgreens and spent a solid 50 bones on band-aids, neosporin, gauze, etc. and i have to sponge bathe him. because he can't get his wound wet. it's awkward. i also have to change his dressing daily which is SO GROSS. like, i didn't want to be a nurse...GUESS WHAT? STILL DON'T. basically i'm annoyed. because i'm like HIS servant during MY birthday week. rude.

poor guy. (note that he is wearing his new wedding ring. we both agree that it's even BETTER than his old one. he said, "we should buy one more as a back-up!" no. NO! that defeats the whole purpose of the wedding ring)

awwwwwwwww hansenz. on our way to the anniversary dinner from Heaven.

anniversary dinner :)

sparkle miu mius. i love getting to wear them on july 18 every year.

sneaky anniversary kiss. two years!

AH! uh, apparently i need to dust. because a spider spun a web between my picture frames and the medicine cabinet. haaaaaaahahahaa

this is the logo at our favorite breakfast spot. corky's is what it's called. like, could you have gotten ANY LESS creative. they literally typed in "grandma" and "pie" into clip art in microsoft word 97. 

JJ's coffee mug at Corky's. they have an assortment of them. and you never know what you're going to get. always a surprise. it's funny. and watching JJ drink out of a pink flowered mug with "you're very special" in cursiveprinted  on it just makes me want to giggleeeeeeeeee

LOL. Cleo hates being bathed. i feel like she looks really regal here though. like if i made this pic black and white and put it in a frame, i feel like it could be art.

my bday present from Mimi and Papa! a sparkly pink Coach writstlet. essentially me in object form. LOVE IT!

heheheeee Cleo looks so cuteeeee here.

at the park during my lunch break :)

 JJ had the day off today. so he, his gangrene leg and Cleo brought sandwiches to Claremont. we sat in the park and ate and then took the pup for a nice little stroll. it was the perfect lunch break. so perfect in fact, that when i had to say goodbye and go back into work, Cleo leapt out the window and jumped into my arms. and then when i gave her back to JJ she cried and cried and cried. so so sad. total separation anxiety. poor sweet thing.

Monday, July 25, 2011

The Shit Shots

today. i'm going to show you all the outfit pictures that JJ took that would normally NOT make the cut. just to show you what a complete ass i can look like. sometimes i look at fashion bloggers and i decide i want to punch them in the face because their pictures are too good. so i want to share the nasty:

1. WHAT IS THAT FACE?! i'm like gansta homie G there, demanding hookers and blow.

 2. i look OLD and MISERABLE here. i think i was in the middle of telling JJ "i'm really mad this plant died," and he captured my frustration.

3. The Smug Toe-Tapping Fool.

4. let me just cross my legs and tilt my head down so you can check out my greasy roots.

5. just please, you idiot. stop trying so hard to look cute. you lose.

6. little better here. but still mostly douchey.

 7. i got lucky and the flash went off so i chose this as the winner.
dress: Target, boots: Miz Mooz

JJ usually takes 5-7 shots every morning. and half are when i'm not paying attention. sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. i just wanted to be real here and show you guys the Shit Shots. because they happen. every day they happen.


Friday, July 22, 2011

hearts & chanel

jeans: Gap, tee: F21, bolero shrug: H&M, shoes: Jessica Simpson

i think it's time to let go of my plant. it looks quite pathetic. sigh. i'm going to keep trying, but it's so hot, i don't know how it will ever make it. 

i love this little bolero. it's covered in sheer chiffon hearts and it makes me happy. and also what makes me happy: FRIDAY! also i perhaaaaaps maybe kinda wenttothecheesecaveforlunch aaaaaaaaandwatchedtwoepisodesofamericandad.

there's no game tonight so and i will be enjoying an evening full of JJ and Mad Men (how much do you LOVE/HATE betty?!?!?!) and dip and wine and Cleo snuggles. perfect.

i have a little bit of exciting news: CHANEL MAY BE COMING HOME!

my sister MM got a new kitten and so in return, i demanded that fatcat move back in with us. Cleo misses her sister. the only problem is that my Dad has sort of fallen in love with that large gray ass. he adores her. so all i have to do is convince him of what a nuisance she is and then all 400 pounds of her will be mine again!

cross your fingers for me.

Thursday, July 21, 2011


pants: F21, tank: JCP, sweater: Ann Taylor Loft, shoes: Libby Edelman

this outfit is so girlieeeeeeeeee i enjoy being a girl.

today was quite an uneventful thursday. except that i did some sweet deal shopping at H&M on my lunch break. i got two dresses, a sweater, a blouse and a pair of sunglasses for $34. i LOVE a good deal!!! and because i spent my lunch break shopping, i ate two pieces of stale, hard cheese with mustard on them for lunch. gross. BUT DON'T WORRY I HAD THE BEST DINNER EVER BECAUSE WE WENT TO COSTCO AND BOUGHT TWO YES TWO JUGS OF THE DIPPPPP. i'm so thrilled. also JJ made me get my car washed today. since it's been like 2 years. and it's all sparkly and shining and smells like pina colada now.

i got these shoes yesterday and I'M OBSESSED with them. i feel like they represent me: 

anyway, today JJ and i had an email chain. he told me that our paychecks went into our account. JJ said, "frugality is what we want. no more silly purchases (this includes credit card)." and i said, "of course. but i really need red jeans." because i do. then i clicked out of gmail because i didn't want to see his response. (where should i get red jeans by the way?? anyone have any ideas?? there are cute ones at Urban but they are online only. and ultimately pricey with the tax and shipping)

one last thing. I JUST LOVE THIS TSHIRT:

Wednesday, July 20, 2011


skirt: JCP, tee: Target, booties: Charlotte Russe

JJ went to costco after work today to get more dip. except they wouldn't let him buy it with my card. so he had to leave, empty-handed and publicly embarrassed. poor guy. when he got home his leg was all bloody. they had a staff softball game and he slid into third. and got 5 yes FIVE wounds. and so i cleaned them and nursed them up with neosporin and gauze. but ten dollars says he will still manage to get blood on the sheets. HONESTLY, he doesn't even have a period, yet always gets blood on our sheets. it's ridiculous.

omg i didn't tell you what we got each other for our anniversary! we do the traditional gifts, it's really fun. year two is cotton. so this is what i got us him:

aren't those ADORABLE?! king and queen bee pillowcases :) the queen has a bigger crown teehee. i love them. they are so soft and so cute.

here is what JJ got us me:

matching fluffy robes with our initials! he's so sweet. what a thoughtful and wonderful gift. (srsly i apologize for the mess that is our bathroom--it's baaaad!!!) i just love these robes. and i love that we both bought gifts for ourselves. while i was taking this picture he said, "now, don't go putting this picture on the blogosphere..." and i said, "oh, no, of course not."


Tuesday, July 19, 2011

the dip

dress worn as skirt: early bday present from KitKat! top: Nord Rack

i hope you liked today's joke. heheheheheeeee i die. i think i'm going to tell some more jokes on the ol blog. since the hungover housewife is sort of too busy to waste her weekends away with wine. whoops! 

so. last time i went home my parents had this dip at their house. i was hungry one day and rummaging around the fridge when i came across it. i saw the word "jalepeno" on it and snatched it and a bag of pita chips. i took the first bite and HOLY SHIT it's like eating a piece of happiness.


omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg. OMG. this dip is the best dip in the WORLD! it's from costco. JJ and i picked up a tub on friday with some naked pita chips and the dip was GONE by sunday morning. we ate so much of it. but here's the good part: it's YOGURT dip. so that means it's totally healthy right?!?!?! right. we ate the whole tub. in less than one weekend. and now i'm sitting here at home, and we are talking about where to go for our anniversary dinner celebration and all i can think about is that GOD DAMNED DIP! five star Italian food? pshhh, nope, i want the dip! but i told JJ that just now and he got annoyed. so now i have to pretend that i am not craving this dip with every fiber of my being and say how much i am looking forward to our fancy night out.


What's on L's Phone?!

Cleo helping with the laundry. JJ says she looks like a spy in this picture haaahaaa 

JJ wearing my sunglasses. what a goon! 

 ohhhh Ke$ha...

 a cherry-dipped cone with Cleo! the perfect summer treat. please look at my eyes. contrary to the pic, i wasn't high.

 babysitting Coco with a beer and us weekly

 hahahahhaa it looks like Cleo's bone is a cigar

 hahahahah SPONGEBOB GETTIN FRESH with a bulldog. note his hand smacking the ass. (the bulldog statue named Ike belongs to my pal Jules, and the Spongebob balloon belongs to her daughter. Jules purposely placed the dirty Sponge on the unsuspecting Ike and we DIED laughing).

 coupla weirdos

 at dinner on Sunday with JJ's parents :)

Quakes game/anniversary date with Malaiks!
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