curly fries

shorts: Hollister, blouse: Rave, sweatshirt: j.crew, boots: Steve Madden

curly fries from the fair: 1

L's belly: 0 

also, elephant ears don't exist in California. which is a travesty.

sparkle pumpkins

my sparkle pumpkins made their debut today. i love them.

security

sweater: Isaac Mizrahi for Target, pants: *cough* Hot Topic *cough*, belt: TJ Maxx, shoes: Target

i severely regretted wearing a turtleneck today. it was hot as hades. and my neck got all itchy and sweaty. so uncomfortable.

i love these red pants. even though i got them from hot topic. they were only $30. what a steal! today i bought Chanel two bags of food for two reasons: 1. she eats a lot, and 2. i got a $5 target giftcard for buying them. i also was supposed to get Cleo food too, but the specialty store i buy it from is closed for the week. the guy with the weirdly long skinny beard who owns it must be on vacation.

JJ has been locked out of his facebook. it's the most annoying/hilarious thing in the world. FB made him change his password a while ago, then he forgot it. when he guessed it wrong too many times, FB told him they sent him a password reset to his email. only his email address is the one from college that is no longer active. so THEN FB told him to choose two friends...so he chose me and Rah. and we two friends were sent a code to our emails, that we then had to relay back to JJ so he could prove that he was his real self to FB. and it didn't work. so FB has literally locked him out. and it's not like he can dial 1-800-FACEBOOK and talk to Mark Zuckerberg. i think the only option for him is to create a new profile, but JJ is convinced that he will be able to figure it out. i mean......at least facebook is secure....right?? it has been QUITE the run-around trying to solve this puzzle.

this video makes me giggle...it's SO true:

i'm such a nice wife

skirt: F21, blouse: William Rast for Target, heels: Steve Madden via Ross

the fall wreath is out! even though it was 95 brutal degrees out today. wahh.

today i was picking my nose at my desk when a sly little booger fell out of my nostril and into my tea. and it was a full cup of tea. it was so delicate the way it landed...so soft and gracefully, barely skimming the top of the surface. after frowning at it for about 15 seconds, i just fished out the little boog and kept drinking my tea. 

i love light pink and red together. it's so girlie and makes my eyes happy.

i went to moneyball tonight with JJ. it was the most boring movie i've ever seen aside from miracle when i fell asleep in the theater and my dad was all annoyed with me. sports are so uninteresting to me. like, the whole movie was about player and statistics and trading and winning and blah blah blah. and brad pitt was wearing a visor. he lost 35% of his sex appeal with that visor. but you know, i went because JJ wanted to see it. i'm so nice i could die. 

is it really only tuesday?!?!?!

what's on L's phone?!

Cleo will lick Chanel's ear and she starts purring so loudly. it's weird. and goes on for a good 10 minutes.

our weekend: me and my tv show, JJ and football.

thank GOD for oxiclean max force. i spilled red wine on the white bedspread. amateur.

clouds and smog

"would you like a large drink for a dollar?" ..."um YEAH, sure!" OMFG did not realize the entire Indian Ocean was inside this cup. i peed like 7 times in the next hour.

this. is. by. FAR. the. TRASHIEST. thing. i've. EVER. seen.

my niece and newphews at the sound of music sing-along. little dolls.

oh cleo.

storage units are scary

tee: McQueen for Target, shorts: Hollister, Hunter boots

i didn't feel like blogging this weekend. i just didn't have anything cool to say. boo L. 

but now i do.

did you know that i have a bff who works for zappos? yes, Moon does! and she got me these new cool boots that i'm obsessed with for a really good deal!! i love them. i wore them all day on saturday. even at home when i was laying on the couch in my underwear watching the good wife. JJ got annoyed with me because i kept putting my booted feet on his lap, so he tried to pull them off of me. except my feet were bare on the inside and were stuck to the boot. so he just struggled and struggled to pull them off while i laughed viciously at him. it was hilar.

we went to the sound of music sing-along at the Hollywood bowl on saturday night and it was so much fun! we met JJ's family for a fancy picnic beforehand, then we all went in and snuggled into our seats and sang (well, yelled) all the songs at the top of our lungs. it was wonderful fun!!

yesterday we did one thing. we literally only did ONE productive thing. we went to the storage unit. other than that, we sat on our asses ALL DAY and watched tv. it was tres American of us. anyway, we got to the storage unit and just so you know, JJ's one job in life is to remember the lock combination. and can you guess what he forgot??? laskdlkjdsf it was so annoying. so we walked to the front office arguing and being mean to each other out of frustration with the forgotten combo, and we were about to dial the number to a locksmith, when all of a sudden the clouds parted and an angel whispered the combo into JJ's ear. it just came to him out of the blue. so i kissed him and told him how wonderful he was then we went to open the damn thing. and i don't know if it's too much of the good wife or what, but i had visions of myself being killed and stuffed into a storage unit to rot permanently. i mean, that is the stuff of criminals right there. that's how they get rid of people. and that isn't how i want to die. the whole thought process gave me the heebeejeebees so i was like "OK JJ LETS GET OUR SHIT AND GTF OUT OF HERE" and then i realized that the one thing we came to get (duvet cover) was actually under the bed in our apartment. doh!

my wooden pig

skirt: F21, blouse that i realized today looks like a maternity blouse: BCBG, necklace: Anthropologie, shoes: Missoni for Target

that wooden winged pig is my favorite. my dad got it for me for my birthday one year. it's so whimsical.

parks and recreating is by FAR the best show on television. it's so funny. i can't stop laughing at it. 

i think i need more potassium. because i keep getting foot cramps. i used to get foot cramps during ballet class. they hurt so bad, and your toes get all deformed-looking and for some reason you can't help but laugh while crying out in pain. 

all i ever wanted in life was to go to the disney resort in Hawaii. 

i'm reading the paris wife and it's deliciously wonderful. 

ok grey's anatomy is on g2g. see you tomorrowwwwwwww

one-legged woman

heheheheeeeeee

nutella & happiness

pants/cardigan: BCBG outlet, top: j.crew

i am sitting here in my bed with my dog and my cat and we are sort of too tired to blog. JJ is at the dodger game with his friends and so me and the Cs are busy watching seinfeld and folding laundry and eating nachos and drinking red wine. 

these pants were even more wrinkly before this picture was taken (if you can believe it) i ironed them while i was wearing them and i burned my knuckle in the process. and it hurts. wahhhh. and i have a headache and i'm unexplainably grumpy. and i want someone to bring be some crepes. smothered in nutella and happiness. 

what's on L's phone?!

my office artwork. it's basically wrapping paper wrapped around a canvas. real classy.

 my sister M sent me this...isn't that whale the cutest thing in the worllllld?!?

JJ's parents on their wedding day. soososooo cute! and JJ totally looks like his dad.

my nephew is selling things to earn money for his school, and this was one of the items up for purchase. wtf?! really??? what woman in her right mind would EVER buy this stupid, stupid mug?

my cute dog.

the fancy name badges we all wore to CGU's president's installation. fan-cay!

 Chanel's new hiding spot: on a beach towel in my shoe rack.

this is a cat toy that was for sale at Ross. i'm wondering who thought it was a good idea to print "TEASE ME" on the packaging. hahahahahahhahaaaa

JJ's mom always put chocolate on our pillow when we stay the night. 

yes, i cooked. and yes it was delicious.

clown with a cold sore

pants: F21, top: Mac & Jac, shoes: Steve Madden via Ross, sungalsses: Target

this morning i woke up to the hugest zit on my lip. like HUGE. it was nasty. it looked like i had a cold sore. so i put on red lipstick, hoping to blend/cover up the blemish. instead i looked like a clown with a cold sore. 

i may or may not have farted in the stairwell in the library at work today and laughed at the echo.

JJ and i met in the middle today for lunch. we work too far apart for me to meet him near his work and vice versa. so we had PIZZAAAA and it was delicious. and it was so nice to see him in the middle of the day. only i didn't want to go back to work when we were done. i wanted to go home and take a nap and hang out with him the rest of the day. but we decided that we should meet for lunch once a week. isn't that a nice little husband/wife get together? i thought so.

GLEE PREMIERE TONIGHT! i can HARDLY stand it!!!!!! i'm so soossoo excited!

angry sugar

 skirt: Target, tee: Nordstrom Rack. cardigan: JCP, belt: Gap, shoes: Missoni for Targ!!!

i ate a drumstick after dinner and i immediately regretted my decision. like, immediately. especially since i had Indian food for lunch. this outfit is boring, sorry. i sort of look like a grandmother or something. but the shoes--oh the shoes, i love them. 

yesterday i went to ikea with Nel. i came very close to purchasing a duvet covered in pink roses, but i resisted. instead i bought candlesticks, a toilet brush, 2 cutting boards, a shitty piece of artwork for my office (the blank white wall was KILLING me. this is a temporary fix) and an espresso cup for JJ.

a student walked into my office today and caught me picking my nose. it's only the second time i've been caught since i started working at CGU in February...which i think is pretty good, based on the amount of time i spend up my nostrils each day. you know how some people have comfort food or security blankets? well i have my pointer finger and my nose. they just fit so perfectly together.  

Cleo was attacked today by the killer 5-pound maltese next door inappropriately named Sugar. she bit poor Cleo who screamed like a little girl. so rude. Sugar's moo-moo-wearing owner doesn't even leash him (yes, Sugar is a boy). and she also leaves Sugar's Shit behind. at least when JJ forgets a doggie poo bag he has the decency to kick the turd into the bushes. i would complain to the landlords, but Sugar's owner is so sweet and so friendly that i would feel bad if she got in trouble. 

off to watch more bootlegged episodes of the good wife! xo

break the rules

good morning!

today i am over at J's Everday Fashion to discuss the LAME "no white after labor day" rule.

check it out

xo
L

Top Quality Wig!

pants: J Brand, blouse: F21, cardigan: Ross

last night i partook in one of my favorite old pastimes: talking on the phone with Moon for almost three hours trying to pick out halloween costumes for this year. it was so fun. and we found this which is the most hilarious thing either of us have ever seen. you could be marie antoinette OR mrs. claus! hahahahhahaha

i watched 4 straight episodes of my new favorite show: The Good Wife. it's SO addicting. watch it. you won't regret it. Chris Noth (aka Big) plays the main character's cheating public figure husband, which is fitting because i never did like Big...

today we are going to JJ's grandmother's 88th birthday party at his parents' house (should be a realllll rager!) when we pull up to their gated community, Cleo gets so excited she cannot contain herself. she whines and barks and wags her tail. and as soon as we open the car door, she beelines it into the house. she loves JJ's Dad because he feeds her infinite pieces of turkey lunch meat. after we return home, Cleo lays around with an agitated look on her face and has alternating diarrhea and deadly farts. but she loves the turkey meat--and JJ's Dad loves giving it to her. so we don't interrupt the joy the two of them share over a little bit of Hillshire Farms.

Chanel tried to assassinate me last night. she stepped on my neck and tried to cut off my breathing supply. i woke up coughing and sputtering and she stared me down, never breaking eye contact and slowly swishing her tail. she's so creepy. not to mention rude.

happy saturday my friends.

the social spider web

dress; Converse, belt/blazer: Gap, heels: gift from Moon/Asos

you know what i found? an Abas iPad case at TJ Maxx for $29 that's being sold at Neiman Marcus for $130. if that's not a STEAL, then i don't know what is. i made this phenomenal purchase then turned right around and spend the same amount on a bottle of hairspray. it's funny how that happens. 

today at work we all went to the official installment of the university's 15th president (hence the blazer. fact: i own 1 suit. it's beige and linen. gorgeous, but so not conventional. and just too Miami-ish and surprisingly dressy for work functions). after the ceremony there was a reception with fruit and pastries (!!!) i grabbed some grub and headed for one of the few tables. i THOUGHT the rest of my coworkers were right behind me, but no. i stood around the Most Awkward Table Ever. when the man to my left introduced himself to me and the lady on my right divulged in his boring rant about law school, i immediately regretted my decision to stand at the Most Awkward Table Ever. but it was too late. i couldn't have backed out just as quickly as i arrived. i had already set down my plate of food, i couldn't just leave...so i introduced myself and made an uncomfortable gesture towards my name tag. i hate these situations. you are just forced to stick them out until the earliest possible moment of escape. it's like SHUT UP TODD WE KNOWWWWW YOUR DAUGHTER IS THE BEST PLAYER ON HER SOCCER TEAM...AND YES SHARON WE ARE COMPLETELY AWARE THAT YOUR SON IS A PILOT WHO ALSO HAPPENS TO BE SINGLE GHODDDD JUST SHUT UP ALREADYYYY but i politely listened to them all compete in the verbal contest to see who was more educated, and finally--FINALLY my coworkers called me over to them to leave, and i was able to excuse myself. i chastised myself for falling into that social spider web of a trap.

an old picture

dress: Tucker for Target, cardigan: Zara, boots: BCBG

i am so sorry to report that the Quakes have lost. i documented the molestache's last ever photo, as i am in mourning:

 SO LONG STACHE, GET OUT OF MY LIFE.

and helllooooo to my hubblestiltskins soft, supple non-chafing skin:

also, can you guess who this is on the right??:

 

OMFG THAT IS ME. ME ON THE RIGHT. when i used to be a 12-year-old boy. my cousin B, (pictured on the left) found this and posted it to facebook. and my lovely friend Moon decided to crop my unfortunate face and make it her profile picture. how sweet of her. i mean..............i don't remember being this awkward....and i CERTAINLY don't remember why i would ever wear a backwards hat. drink in this hottness, my friends. i hope this pic is e.n.u.f. to make your night a hilarious one.

Missoni.

 skirt: i heart ronson for JCP, top: BCBG. shoes: Ross

my coworker said to me, "you look like Prince in that shirt" hahahahahhaah i totally do. 

okay let's talk Missoni for Target. i assumed (foolishly) that the good ol' Inland Empire would be filled with non-Missoni-knowing folk. i should have been clued in when i saw that target.com had crashed. i held out hope that on my lunch break there would be plenty to choose from. i ended up having somewhat of a poopy (not literally) morning at work so i was reallllllly looking forward to a successful Missoni trip.

i got to Target. BOOOO. all i found was a measly pair of underwear. everything else was cleaned out or the wrong size. i was so angry. i even stomped my heeled foot on the ground in front of the empty racks like a brat. SOOOO DISAPPOINTING. so i forced my sister M to go to the target in fashion-illiterate Yakima. she's such a little dear. SOLD. OUT. my heart was broken. i almost cried. almost.

so i sadly finished my day. then stopped at another target on my way home from work. just to see if they had something...and they had the matching bralette to my underwear in my size! gold! AND i managed to squeeze my butt into a child's XL skirt! score! it's a liiiiiittle short, but will look fine with tights i think. AND my mother in law called to say she found a pair of pumps in my size AND my sister in law called to say she found a t-shirt in my size! hooray for the people who love me. 

and while doing a victory dance around the apartment to show JJ the joy of my Missoni...i stubbed my toe on the antique chest and this happened:

oooooouuuuuucccccchhhhhhhhhh.

but alas, i am writing this blog Missoni-clad, with a smile on my face.

what's on L's phone?!

 

BIG LEAGUE CHEW

 i got gum in my hair

Nel and i had to make a scrapbook for our Quakes "son" so i printed out pictures of him on saturday. they were all sprawled out around me and i looked like a total stalker.

the finished product!

love you JJ. hate your mustache.

 Foxy Cleopatra

i got JJ this plate. and he was more excited about it than he was about the macbook i bought him for his birthday last year. 

the molestache's progress. jklsdflsdfjl 

Cleo's collar doubles as a bracelet.

Chanel and her arch nemesis

JJ's new counterfeit Gretsky jersey direct from China. 

!

has anyone seen Chanel?

 

 our nephews M&M at the Quakes game

sleepover at Auntie L and Uncle JJ's house!

 OMG. this lady walks barefoot in a denim skirt every morning while JJ is running on the treadmill. srsly? our apartment complex has some realllllll gems.

 Chanel's last photo before her haircut.