Friday, February 24, 2012

my trip to the (dirty, gritty mean) city


dress: Target, blazer: Wet Seal, oxfords: Jessica Simpson, glasses: UO, headband: Nordstrom Rack


yesterday Cleo and i met JJ for lunch in the city. we were driving along, very excited, and Miss C was propped up on my lap with her paws on the window, all excited to see JJ. and then i smelled a terrible smell. like poo. i quickly looked down. poo on my coat. POO ON MY COAT. turns out dog had a dingleberry i didn't notice. well until now. i cursed my luck then called JJ to bring out some wet paper towels. which didn't do much. arghhh. not quite the start we wanted on our lunch date.

we drove around the city looking for a place to park and JJ wouldn't let Cleo and her poopy butt sit on his lap for obvious reasons and she had really hurt feelings. it was so pitiful the way she looked at JJ and begged him to let her up off the floor:



anyway we finally found a spot and paid for it. then we walked to the sandwich place. i saw so many homeless people and so many frowning faces and so many many miscreants. my sandwich was delicious. the man who took our order was high, had a tattoo of a skull with bat wings on his forearm and he was wearing a padlock on a chain around his neck. we sat and ate our wonderful sandwiches then we walked back to the car quickly because JJ worried that "someone was going to break into our car and steal Cleo and try to sell her because she's so cute." turns out she was still in the car, still with a poopy butt. i drove JJ back to his office, and was waiting at a green light to turn left, when an angry pink-haired girl with a bull's ring in her nose honked, flipped me off, and roared her car around me because she was impatient. so rude.

i kissed JJ goodbye and he said, "check out that crack house right there," and indeed there really was a crack house right there. then he said, "DON'T KEEP STARING!" and so i looked away so as not to get shot. JJ hopped out of the car and Cleo dramatically cried when he left and we GTFOOT. 

it was so nice to arrive back in my small little town with a high population of cute old people and golden doodles. we got inside, i washed Cleo's butt and we settled in to watch more Downton Abbey. and i decided that if it wasn't for the delicious food, i would never ever go into the city.

i. hate. the. city. 

5 comments:

  1. I HATE THE CITY TOO! you mean Seattle right? One time an ashy old homeless woman kissed my husband on the neck and ran away with his money! True story.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Driving around Seattle is like driving around a ritzy ghetto. You have to be overly aggressive and lock your doors or homeless guys will try to get inside whilst washing your windshield with newspaper. I hate it too, but love it. Maybe because I miss it?

    ReplyDelete
  3. Hence why I stick to Bellevue.

    ReplyDelete
  4. You are hanging out in the wrong parts of town...I think you need a local to show you around. :)

    ReplyDelete
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