Monday, February 27, 2012

tinkle leaks


jeans: Rock n Republic, sweater: H&M, faux fur jacket: Wet Seal, shoes: BCBG


this faux fur jacket. i've had it for years and i just adore it. it comes out every now and again when i'm feeling particularly saucy. 

we got a red box movie and gummy lifesavers on friday night. saturday morning we went for noah bagels and to the bookstore to buy a baby names book. then we went out to a fun dinner with friends. on the way home i had to pee badly. and usually it's fine. i just whine and hold it until we get home. only JF the little shit decided to like dance and jump on my bladder in the car, and i literally could not control myself. little tiny tinkles just leaked out. i was like JF C'MONNNNNN WE ARE ALMOST HOMEEEEE LET ME MAKE IT HOMEEEE. but JF just danced and jumped to its own desire. we finally got home and i waddled as fast as i could to the toilet. it could have been a lot worse. i could have emptied my whole bladder and peed myself.

on sunday we went to church but had to leave early because i got light-headed and hot with all the standing and sitting (but baby liked the church music. Hän would start dancing around, it was cute). then Sam came over for brunch and brought her doggie for a date with Cleo. it was fun, and great to see her since she leaves the glorious state of WA on friday (sniffle) to carry out a fancy career and sunny life in AZ. then JJ and i watched Mr. Popper's Penguins which i absolutely loved, and lounged around until the Academy Awards came on. JJ ran to the gym while i watched the dresses. as i was judging the celebrities, i felt a little tickle in my nostril. i was thrilled because really, nothing is better than a satisfying sneeze. i let out a huge sonic boom from my nose and was horrified to discover that i had warmth in my undies. you guys. i pissed my pants. I SNEEZED AND PISSED MY PANTS. WTFFFFFF. i didn't even see it coming. i didn't even have to pee. like i literally had just gone pee 3 minutes before this happened. thank GOD i was at home and not in public somewhere. it's all JF's fault. i think Hän was totally laughing on the inside. 

i just don't understand where all of this pee is coming from. last night i got up five FIVEEEE times to pee. and each time was a flowing river. i think to myself at 3 a.m. "OK this has GOT to be it. i drank a glass of water at 7 p.m. and this has to be the last of it." but then at 5 a.m. my bladder refills itself to a plentiful flowing Niagara Falls. like where does all that pee magically appear from?? it's tres annoying and doesn't make any sense. 

at this point in the pregnancy, i think it's safe to say that when i gotta go, I GOTTA GO. no waiting it out to see if JF bounces around on my bladder enough to make me piss myself in public. i already peed my Calvin Klein shorts that one time in 5th grade at the 7-11, i don't need to be a 25-year-old disgracing myself by peeing in my maternity leggings in Target.

4 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness!! So awful, but so funny at the same time.

    Maybe your hubs need to bite the bullet and shame himself in the store to grab you some Depends or some big old maxi pads or something.

    No one has to know they're for you... you can hide them under flowy dresses or something.

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  2. Please tell me where your jeans are from. I love them.

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  3. i found these jeans at Nordstrom Rack a few years ago. they're rock n republic! :)

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