Thursday, March 29, 2012

giggle fit


dress/belt: F21, sweater: Target, boots: BCBG


look at those nasty roots, yo. nothing reminds you of your flawed appearance like your own blog. 

we are the youngest by FAR in our birth class. which is sort of sad to me. because i don't think i'm going to find a pal. and i really wanted a pal with a baby. we are the only couple who did not find out the gender and the only couple who hasn't named the baby (anything other than JF). i am also the only person who got a case of the giggles during the video. you know when that happens? you think of something funny in a setting where it isn't appropriate to laugh, and you literally CANNOT stop laughing. you try really hard to stop and it only makes you laugh even more. well that happened to me last night and i couldn't help it. the video was explaining the stages of labor. and showing these women pushing. and all i could think about was myself pushing and a big steaming turd coming out. and so i laughed and i laughed and i laughed and i tried to stifle it by burying my head into JJ's shoulder. i know, i'm so mature. then JJ shushed me. he SHUSHED me! he was totally embarrassed of me. so i focused really hard on trying to think of something to make me stop laughing, and ended up picturing the baby actually coming out of me which turned out to be very unfunny indeed.

also we had to sign up to bring snacks one week. and the instructor was going on and on about bringing a nutritious snack like whole wheat crackers, no cookies allowed. and it was ironic because she is fat. c'mon lady. you know you like doughnuts just as much as i do, stop pretending that all you eat is kale and water.

i showed JJ the stroller i picked out and he said, "WHOA! that thing looks like scary sleepy hollow shit." just please. he wouldn't know a chic stroller if it hit him in the nuts. 

5 comments:

  1. HATED birthing class. HATED IT WITH A PASSION. It was ridiculous from start to finish, especially the session where they turned out the lights, turned on romantic music, and gave each couple massage lotion and asked each of us to massage our partner. WTF?!?! Then there was the ignorant jerk who raised his hand during the induction part of the lesson and said he doesn't think doctors should induce babies. They should just let whatever happens happen. Every woman in the room would have thrown their shoe at him if they could get them off their swollen feet. We skipped the last class.

    ReplyDelete
  2. HATED birthing class. HATED IT WITH A PASSION. It was ridiculous from start to finish, especially the session where they turned out the lights, turned on romantic music, and gave each couple massage lotion and asked each of us to massage our partner. WTF?!?! Then there was the ignorant jerk who raised his hand during the induction part of the lesson and said he doesn't think doctors should induce babies. They should just let whatever happens happen. Every woman in the room would have thrown their shoe at him if they could get them off their swollen feet. We skipped the last class.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Sorry for the double post. :(

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  4. hahahahhahahaa. girl. you kill me.

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  5. OMg I would be the same way. Just thinking of everything BUT the baby coming out of my va-jay. Haha.

    I recently found your blog and it's awesome, I think we'd be good friends in non-internet life! I know, I'm creepy. IT HAPPENS.

    Hope all is well. xoxo.

    ReplyDelete

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