dress: Old Navy, cardigan: Target, vest: American Eagle
it's amazing to me how a faux fur vest is truly the most versatile item in my closet.
now, on to something much more important: i, L, can no longer see my own yoohoo. my belly has gotten so giant, that it completely blocks my normally clear, visible shot of it. i've forgotten what the damn thing even looks like. now, i originally didn't care, since it's not particularly pretty or anything, just your regular ol run-of-the-mill yoohoo, but the circumstances changed the other day in the shower...
and thus begins my tale.
during this particular shower, while i was scrubbing myself down, i noticed that there was WAY too much of a soapy lather going on in the Nether Regions. i said out loud to myself, "FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, L!!!! when was the last time you landscaped?!?!?!" then i suddenly and horrifyingly realized that i couldn't remember the last time. for shame, L. i hesitated only for a moment before snatching my razor. but then i paused. how was this supposed to work really? like this was a seriously dangerous mission. but also a necessary mission. i said to myself, "self, this is a hazard. you shouldn't do it." oh, but i did. i ignored all of my instincts and i went in blindly.
i cut my yoohoo with a razor. I. CUT. MY. YOOHOO. WITH. A. RAZOR.
i screamed out in pain. and i heard Cleo scurry into the bathroom to inquire about my condition. the most terrible part was that i couldn't see how bad it was. my imagination ran wild as i pictured the worst. it was a terrifying panic-filled moment in my life that i shan't forget.
it ended up not being so bad, but i will promise one thing: there will be NO MORE RAZORS IN MY NETHER REGIONS UNTIL AFTER THE BABY IS BORN. nor will i wax because i think it's an enormous and unnecessary infliction of pain on my tender parts. so, i will let Her grow out. wild and free, as they say. just like Eve (from the Bible. not the entertainer). the doctor will be
pleasantly surprised when she delivers JF into the world through the cavernous forest between my legs. but i won't even care. i will hold my head high and proud. because i will be giving birth looking just as our foremothers did--unruly and untamed.
grow on, yoohoo. grow on.